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Do not show her her home, unless you plan to place her back in her home. mom's mantra was :( go home go home go home.. every day, every moment,. I felt so cruel taking her out of her home. I just cried every night. I still feel I let her down.
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Thank you. My question is After Covid should I take her out of nursing home that she has been in for 5 months to see her house ... she's been asking us repeatedly and we are not sure what to do. We do show her photos of her flower garden telling her that we are taking care of the house.
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Not a great idea.
First many people with dementia are not comfortable when placed in an unfamiliar setting. (even if this is a house she has been in before she has gotten used to her facility and that is her "comfort zone". And if it is a house she has been in before it may be upsetting to then return to the facility. The concept of a "visit" is lost. "Time" has no meaning.
And with the current COVID19 She would, if she is not already, be confined to her room for the quarantine time. There is also the possibility that she may, even if she tests negative on the day she leaves for the visit, actually be positive and you are putting your family at a greater risk and because of that you and anyone that is in the house during the visit should also quarantine for the 14 days.

I would say the idea of a visit while nice is not a good idea.

Now..a change of scenery is nice a drive to a park where you can remain in the open, maintain a safe distance would be an option. After a light pick-nick lunch an ice cream cone bring her back would be a nice afternoon. And it would not confuse her as much nor put her at greater risk nor probably subject her to an isolation quarantine.
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Yacubovich Jun 2020
Thank you! This first trip out after being in nursing home for 5 months with mid stage dementia would be after Covid.

She keeps asking to see her house, we show her photos to let her know that we are taking good care of her house & her precious flower garden.

I'm afraid she wont get back in car to return to nursing home!
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Probably not.
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How long a visit are you thinking of having? In New York, if we take a resident out of the facility, they will not allow them back in until they have quarantined somewhere for 14 days and test negative for CoVid-19.

Even without Co-Vid, we found that it was better for our patient to have visits with us in the nursing home. Even bringing them out to their favorite ice cream shop caused them to have a confused and anxious evening when we brought them back. Eventually, if we tried to have a bigger gathering in the nursing home- like for a holiday- it was too overwhelming for them. We visited in small groups.

I would ask the nursing home for their thoughts on it.
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Yacubovich Jun 2020
Alice thank you. This would be after Covid.

She is in mid stage dementia & most likely wont remember she was even there. But everyday she repeatedly asks to go home or to visit as she wants to see her flower garden...photos do not work.
Thank you.
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