My father has been widowed for 5 years. He waited 1 year and started dating. One lady after another. I do find it disgusting that he thinks this is appropriate behavior. Seeing 1 person at time is acceptable, but he now has 5 ladies he sees. I think this is horrible and a mockery to the beautiful marriage my Mom and he shared. Am I wrong? My daughter says I am being disrespectful.
We live with "hook up", an app that people use just to have sex. People of every age and you don't even have to buy her a drink.
College girls have a club called the "finish line" to get senior gentleman and become their whores, room, board, allowance and sex.
STDs are rampant in all parts of society and a 90 year old, single (widowed) man has enough life history to understand the risks. But at 90 does he care?
Sorry but, I don't think it's any of your business and I agree with your daughter. He lost the love of his life, waited a respectful amount of time and is seeking some happiness, not a thing wrong with that.
Glad he's healthy enough to find happiness in some way, many that reach 90 don't get that. If he was living with one in a committed relationship and cheating on her that would be one thing; but there is nothing wrong with playing the field and dating different people.
There are lots of lonely people out there, and lots of older men and women who would love a hug or two. Most people don’t really like to think or talk about their children or their parents being sexual, but if it wasn’t that way we would have a population problem now!
They say as we age our roles reverse and it’s never been more clear than with you and your dad. However, he’s an adult, and I assume has no cognitive decline. Let him enjoy being alive and feeling young and don’t tie him to a wheelchair yet just to please yourself.
"stringing along" seems a funny term. In honesty, a single man in a NH is like catnip to a cat. There's probably a 10-1 ratio of single women to men.
Keep an eye on hid finances, not everyone os just out to enjoy the weather, so to speak.
I do agree with you, though, that dating 1 woman at a time is the better and more respectful way to go. If a younger man were stringing 5 women along at the same time, we'd call him all sorts of ugly names, but if he's 90, it's somehow okay? I don't think so. Same rules of decency apply to ALL men of ALL ages at ALL times, imo.
There was no mention of where he lives and if it is in an Assisteted Living or a LTC facility then there might be concern about his getting booted out if the ladies are within and there ae complaints. There is concern if the 5 ladies are a lot younger and potential scammers trying to get his inheritances but those facts we don't know and in absence of them, it seems very reasonable for him to enjoy his remaining years if this is one of the routes he wishes to take.
As others have said, this does not reflect on the legacy of his marriage and he kept his projmise 'til death do us part' and memories remain. Having memories is wonderful but it is not the present and not an activity.
If the ladies don't mind then it should not bother you.
What your dad does now when dating does not reflect on how he treated your mom or their marriage. The fact that is he probably can not find 1 good enough to hold a candle to your mom.
I think this more about you than your father, and it may be something that you need to work through. You know your fathers time here on this earth is very limited at this point, so perhaps it's just best to let him be and let him enjoy whatever time he has left.
Christopher Plummer plays the father. Diane Lane and Christopher Cusack star.
Or, another movie not done as tastefully is: "Boynton Beach Club" 2005, with
Sally Kellerman, Joseph Bologna, Len Cariou, Brenda Vaccaro, Dyan Cannon,
and Michael Nouri.
Dad is never going to find someone as special as your Mom, his wife.
But to impose your sensitivities on your father is wrong. Does he live with you?
And, even though he doesn't have to date by your rules, there could be concerns. I believe each woman should be aware of the others existence in case your father's mind is not working right and if there were to be intimacy, someone should be practicing safe sex. Apologies if this offends.
Watch the movies and think about the daughter's responses to their father's dating. See if you can find a comfort zone for yourself. Watching the movies could be the best and least expensive therapy you could ever need. (Not that you need therapy-your being upset is very normal., imo). These movies are romantic comedies-you may get a laugh.
You can be upset if you want to be.
(I'm assuming none of the ladies are 20 years old and out to scam him.