Any time my mom wants to drive and I say no because she has dementia, she says no doctor has told her that. she took a cognitive test and definitely does have it, but does it do any good to tell her? I am going to be selling her vehicle to end any discussion about driving and to get back some money for it.
Good luck.
My husband gets lost in the house and has been diagnosed by several doctors but, as you point out, is convinced that nothing is wrong with him.
i forgot to mention: we took it 360 miles away to the dealer to get serviced 2 years ago where it has been ever since. she was able to drive it there safely but when we were ready to come home she told me to go get someone cuz she didnt know how to start it or what to do.
Hire a ladies' companion one morning or day a week to help her get dressed and go for a ride, during which the companion will guide her through shopping for things she needs, maybe take her out to eat. My mother had a series of these companions, and it worked out well for her. The cost of a companion isn't as much as it is for a medical aide because no medical care is involved.
Stop arguing with mom! You're never going to change her mind about anything. Let the heat fall on the companion. Meanwhile, you're off having fun.
If you are her PoA then you probably need to have your authority activated with an actual diagnosis. Then you can sell her car. If you aren't her active PoA and she doesn't agree for you to sell her car, you legally cannot sell it. Hopefully she will agree to it (she will need to sign over the title if you aren't her PoA). You can tell her a therapeutic fib about why it needs to be sold ("The transmission is about to go out and it's too expensive to fix" etc) Make sure to disable the car or move it to a location and then tell her it's "in the shop for repairs"
OTOH, plenty with dementia don’t remember or retain, can’t accept (anosognosia), or simply deny and all evidence.
I was sure taking away the driving would be a mammoth battle with my dad. He didn’t like it and tried to get around it. But he was actually much worse when it came to my taking away financial control, and he had made some really damaging errors. He fought tooth and nail for years to regain control of that and never stopped the anger and denial.
Good luck. You’ve gotten some good advice. The only other thing I can advise is redirection. No, mom, you can’t drive. But I could take you to XYZ on Saturday or shall we do ABC?
Now with a person that has dementia that is not going to last long as far as retained information. But it is the doctor giving the information.
It is up to you then to confirm the diagnosis when a subject comes up. You can not drive because.... You can not live alone because....
Sometimes it help if the doctor writes the diagnosis down. that will help some until the person can no longer read or comprehend the written word. But again that information will not be retained.
A word of caution about selling.
If she is no longer cognizant she can not sign the Title to the car, she can not enter into a contract.
If you are POA you can sign on her behalf.
The money has to go into her account. (keep all her finances and assets separate from yours)
The car has to be sold for Fair Market Value.
All this will be important if you have to apply for Medicaid later on.
There is no positive 'point' to arguing.
While I may be very off topic to your question, this is important information to have 'on file.' If / when a person has dementia, they will not remember or even understand what it is / means.
We all need to talk to the person in ways they 'get it' and this varies depending on each person, and the relationship. If it were my mom, I would ask the MD to EMPHASIZE to her why she should not be driving (i.e., potentially harming or killing herself, others in the car, pedestrians, others driving and in other cars.
The risks are so serious.
And, your mom may deny all of these risk factors due to an inability to comprehend as her brain / cognitive functioning doesn't allow her to understand.
I've heard medical providers refer to (not specifically reference the word dementia). Best to ask her MD about it before s/he discusses it with her (if s/he does).
I've heard MD's discuss w patients / refer to: A TIA (transient ischemic attack) is a "mini-stroke" caused by a temporary blockageof blood flow to the brain, leading to stroke-like symptoms that last only a few minutes to an hour. ... Its a short period of symptoms similar to those of a stroke. It's caused by a brief blockage of blood flow to the brain. A TIA usually lasts only a few minutes and doesn't cause long-term damage.
A TIA may be a warning. About 1 in 3 people who has a TIA will eventually have a stroke, with about half occurring within a year after the TIA.
Often called a ministroke, a TIA can serve as both a warning of a future stroke and a chance to prevent it.
While these definitions are involved, once you have this information, you can adjust discussing it to a degree a person 'with dementia' may (or may not) understand it.
Symptoms of memory loss due to a transient ischemic attack are often temporary and vary depending on the area of the brain affected.
Short-term memory loss is the most common form of memory loss due to a TIA. Patients experiencing short-term memory loss will have vivid memories from long ago, but will have difficulty remembering the events of the present day.
Symptoms of memory loss include:
Confusion
Difficulty paying attention and concentrating
Difficulty organizing thoughts or actions
Difficulty deciding what to do next
Depression
Difficulty speaking
Difficulty understanding speech
Causes and Risk FactorsPatients at risk of experiencing a transient ischemic attack are at a higher risk of developing memory loss due to a TIA. Risk factors for experiencing a TIA include:
Narrowing of the arteries, usually caused by atherosclerosis. This is when fatty material builds up and hardens on an artery wall. This material can break off and get lodged in smaller blood vessels in the brain.
Cerebral artery stenosis
Spasms in the walls of the arteries
High blood pressure
Gena / Touch Matters