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Any time my mom wants to drive and I say no because she has dementia, she says no doctor has told her that. she took a cognitive test and definitely does have it, but does it do any good to tell her? I am going to be selling her vehicle to end any discussion about driving and to get back some money for it.

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You might as well stop telling her she has dementia. It's fairly common for dementia patients not to know they have it, and telling them one or a hundred times won't convince them.

Hire a ladies' companion one morning or day a week to help her get dressed and go for a ride, during which the companion will guide her through shopping for things she needs, maybe take her out to eat. My mother had a series of these companions, and it worked out well for her. The cost of a companion isn't as much as it is for a medical aide because no medical care is involved.

Stop arguing with mom! You're never going to change her mind about anything. Let the heat fall on the companion. Meanwhile, you're off having fun.
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Reply to Fawnby
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The neurologist and her primary doctor have both told my wife she has dementia. She doesn’t remember that and only vaguely knows something is wrong. I got her license suspended (through the neurologist) and when she saw the paperwork from the state she said she was driving anyway. I hid her fob and that stopped her driving.
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Reply to PaulfromWV
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Sure. But in the meantime, disable mother's car so she cannot kill innocent people while out driving. Hide the keys or flatten the tires. She may not accept the doctors diagnosis anyway, as many folks suffer from anosognosia which is the inability to recognize or acknowledge their deficits.

Good luck.
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AnnaKat Nov 21, 2025
I agree. You can also disconnect the battery (or leave the lights on overnight). Also, the battery will discharge if the car sits long enough. Then you can just get a jumpstart or use a battery charger. I would be worried that deflated tires may get deformed.
My husband gets lost in the house and has been diagnosed by several doctors but, as you point out, is convinced that nothing is wrong with him.
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thanks much!
i forgot to mention: we took it 360 miles away to the dealer to get serviced 2 years ago where it has been ever since. she was able to drive it there safely but when we were ready to come home she told me to go get someone cuz she didnt know how to start it or what to do.
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Reply to justme54
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Yes, but dependent on what stage she is at it may or may not do any good at all.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Do not tell your mother about her dementia since she is unable to know. Meanwhile disable her car until it gets sold.
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Reply to Patathome01
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Does she have an actual diagnosis of dementia in her medical records? If not, how is her doctor going to tell her anything? She needs to be tested by her doctor first.

If you are her PoA then you probably need to have your authority activated with an actual diagnosis. Then you can sell her car. If you aren't her active PoA and she doesn't agree for you to sell her car, you legally cannot sell it. Hopefully she will agree to it (she will need to sign over the title if you aren't her PoA). You can tell her a therapeutic fib about why it needs to be sold ("The transmission is about to go out and it's too expensive to fix" etc) Make sure to disable the car or move it to a location and then tell her it's "in the shop for repairs"
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Reply to Geaton777
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You can try getting a letter from the diagnosing physician to show her when she asks, and/or having the diagnosing physician telling her this in your presence. It might help. You can switch out her drivers license for a non-driver ID and show her that (though my dad never understood the difference). I once heard of someone who got a police officer to explain it to the parent with dementia which made an impression. In some states, you can anonymously report an unsafe driver.

OTOH, plenty with dementia don’t remember or retain, can’t accept (anosognosia), or simply deny and all evidence.

I was sure taking away the driving would be a mammoth battle with my dad. He didn’t like it and tried to get around it. But he was actually much worse when it came to my taking away financial control, and he had made some really damaging errors. He fought tooth and nail for years to regain control of that and never stopped the anger and denial.

Good luck. You’ve gotten some good advice. The only other thing I can advise is redirection. No, mom, you can’t drive. But I could take you to XYZ on Saturday or shall we do ABC?
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Reply to Suzy23
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I think with any diagnosis the doctor should be the one to tell the person they are diagnosing.
Now with a person that has dementia that is not going to last long as far as retained information. But it is the doctor giving the information.
It is up to you then to confirm the diagnosis when a subject comes up. You can not drive because.... You can not live alone because....
Sometimes it help if the doctor writes the diagnosis down. that will help some until the person can no longer read or comprehend the written word. But again that information will not be retained.

A word of caution about selling.
If she is no longer cognizant she can not sign the Title to the car, she can not enter into a contract.
If you are POA you can sign on her behalf.
The money has to go into her account. (keep all her finances and assets separate from yours)
The car has to be sold for Fair Market Value.
All this will be important if you have to apply for Medicaid later on.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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She won't remember and/or be in denial no matter what the MD tells her.
There is no positive 'point' to arguing.

While I may be very off topic to your question, this is important information to have 'on file.' If / when a person has dementia, they will not remember or even understand what it is / means.

We all need to talk to the person in ways they 'get it' and this varies depending on each person, and the relationship. If it were my mom, I would ask the MD to EMPHASIZE to her why she should not be driving (i.e., potentially harming or killing herself, others in the car, pedestrians, others driving and in other cars.
The risks are so serious.

And, your mom may deny all of these risk factors due to an inability to comprehend as her brain / cognitive functioning doesn't allow her to understand.
I've heard medical providers refer to (not specifically reference the word dementia). Best to ask her MD about it before s/he discusses it with her (if s/he does).

I've heard MD's discuss w patients / refer to: A TIA (transient ischemic attack) is a "mini-stroke" caused by a temporary blockageof blood flow to the brain, leading to stroke-like symptoms that last only a few minutes to an hour. ... Its a short period of symptoms similar to those of a stroke. It's caused by a brief blockage of blood flow to the brain. A TIA usually lasts only a few minutes and doesn't cause long-term damage.

A TIA may be a warning. About 1 in 3 people who has a TIA will eventually have a stroke, with about half occurring within a year after the TIA.
Often called a ministroke, a TIA can serve as both a warning of a future stroke and a chance to prevent it.

While these definitions are involved, once you have this information, you can adjust discussing it to a degree a person 'with dementia' may (or may not) understand it.

Symptoms of memory loss due to a transient ischemic attack are often temporary and vary depending on the area of the brain affected.
Short-term memory loss is the most common form of memory loss due to a TIA. Patients experiencing short-term memory loss will have vivid memories from long ago, but will have difficulty remembering the events of the present day.

Symptoms of memory loss include:

Confusion
Difficulty paying attention and concentrating
Difficulty organizing thoughts or actions
Difficulty deciding what to do next
Depression
Difficulty speaking
Difficulty understanding speech

Causes and Risk FactorsPatients at risk of experiencing a transient ischemic attack are at a higher risk of developing memory loss due to a TIA. Risk factors for experiencing a TIA include:

Narrowing of the arteries, usually caused by atherosclerosis. This is when fatty material builds up and hardens on an artery wall. This material can break off and get lodged in smaller blood vessels in the brain.
Cerebral artery stenosis
Spasms in the walls of the arteries
High blood pressure

Gena / Touch Matters
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