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My husband has severe chronic pain and in the last few days has asked to move from chair to bed and bed to chair continuously because he always thinks he'll feel better in the other place. He argues, pleads and sometimes he cries and I am up and down every 5-10 minutes moving him. It is exhausting me. I moved to another bedroom because I have insomnia and was disturbing him and he came in three times and woke me up to complain last night. He is taking as much pain medicine as the doctor will give him. What can I do?

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Husband needs a doctor who specializes in dementia. A geriatric psychiatrist or a behavioral neurologist is my suggestion. If there is a specialty clinic for dementia anywhere in the region, perhaps associated with a university, that would be worth visiting.

Persons with dementia often react differently to drugs than the general population. You need to see someone who is aware of that and willing to work on finding something that will manage the pain.

You also need something to help your husband sleep through the night. The dementia specialist will be able to help with this. My husband was able to stay at home through his entire 10-year journey with dementia but I could not have survived that if his doctor had not solved the sleep issue early on. You NEED quality sleep, or you cannot be an effective caregiver. To get it, your husband needs to sleep. (That will do him good, too.)

Can your husband not transfer between a bed and a chair on his own? Would physical therapy help enable him to do that?

Mythyme, I think you are not getting the support you need to do the extremely difficult job of caregiving. Find a medical provider who will provide that support.
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Pain can exacerbate behaviors and other dementia related symptoms and be missed interpreted as other indications for the behaviors. Speak to your family physician who may refer you to a pain specialist after completing diagnostic testing. Are you aware of the painAD AKA "PainAlz/dementia scale" it is a way of rating signs and symptoms of pain/discomfort in patients who have Alz and related dementia's and works similar to the "zero-to-ten" scale that health care providers often ask patients.
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Mythyme, where is the pain? Since you mentioned vascular dementia, I wondered if he might have some vascular occlusion going on. My father had pain in his legs from peripheral vascular disease. It was no fun and he wouldn't go to a doctor. Different pains respond to different pain relievers. Taking Tylenol III was very little help to my father. I hope that your husband's doctor can find a treatment that will help with the pain, so your husband can regain some of the quality of his life.
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These answers are very helpful. Thank you. I hadnt thought of a geriatric psychiatrist for my husband even though I have an appointment for myself to try to get help for my med resistant long term depression. His vascular dementia involved a blood vesel beside his eye. His pain is in his low spine and in the same areas as polymyalgia but doctor says he doesnt have that. This last week has been really bad and we just moved here a week ago but he didnt seem at all effected by the move. The drive was only an hour.
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