My dad has had 2 falls getting out of bed in the last week, both while getting up to use the bathroom. He used his alert button both times to have family come get him picked up as he’s completely unable to get up on his own. This has him a bit more spooked than usual about living alone. We’re very aware that him living alone is questionable but he’s been insistent about it and is mentally sound, leaving no real way to force the issue. He’s very attached to his rollator for getting around and we’ve done all manner of adapting his environment to make life easier for him, but his walking is a slow shuffle, very laborious and lagging. He’s had PT for it before, minimally cooperative and resistant to trying it again. He’s in near constant pain from bad arthritis, and has a plethora of other chronic physical conditions. He’s terribly lonely and often states he’s ready to leave this world, and that’s despite the attention of family and friends, he’s just tired. So several questions have come up in the last few days and I’d like input...He’s a distance from a VA assisted living home he’d be eligible for, the appeal is the lower cost, the con is the distance would make him unlikely to have many visitors. Anyone have experience with a VA assisted living home good or bad?
Anything to add to his bed at home to lessen the chance of falling? He has a bedside step stool with a long handle but wondering about something that goes between boxspring and mattress and has a handle for stability? Or something else?
Anyone try stopping medications, not like euthanasia or suicide, but as no longer prolonging a life he’s so weary of? This would be discussed with doctor prior to any attempt and we know there are meds for comfort and meds for keeping him here both, he takes a load of meds daily but he’s thinking about stopping, has talked to fellow seniors who’ve done it and say they actually feel better.
As POA and most involved of his adult children, am I nuts or have I lost perspective that I haven’t tried to force him to move from his beloved home? I get calls from relatives, usually the ones that only want to contribute an opinion and not any help, saying I need to “make him move” He’s most content where he is, we have the assisted living conversation at least twice a month, and each time he tells me “not yet” He pays his bills, balances his checkbook, makes his meals (painstakingly slowly) watches sports, and talks on the phone. He undeniably can be rude, but when I’ve discussed that with his doctors they’ve said there is no dementia, that it’s an old age “loss of filters” He can also be very kind, he called my daughter last night to remind her that her tire pressure light in her car might come on with the change in fall temperatures.
Oops, didn’t mean to type a novel, but input on any question above appreciated