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So, regrettably mom is back in the hospital. She has Sepsis and has been diagnosed with Failure To Thrive. I'm hoping that the hospital can intervene some how and make both diagnoses better but it's been 4 days and she is still not well.



Any experience with these diagnoses? Any idea what I might be facing? Hospice? Palliative care?



Life can seriously be so depressing some days

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Your mom should with no problem now qualify for hospice care, with a diagnosis of failure to thrive, so I would be contacting them as soon as possible.
My husband developed sepsis and septic shock after almost dying from aspiration pneumonia, but continued to live completely bedridden and under hospice care for the last 22 months of his life in our home.
If hospice believes her time is limited to a week or less, you can have her brought to their hospice home to die as that will be a much more peaceful and beautiful place to die than a hospital, and moms Medicare will cover it all 100%.
I pray for Gods peace to be with you as you face the unknown with your mom.
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Cover99 Apr 2022
Where is this?

My mom passed at the hospital, because folks at hospital said she would not make a trip anywhere else, then again they wanted they were subtly pushing for the plug to be pulled so she would pass.
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My brother died of Sepsis. For him it was a simple matter of so few antibiotics working well against; resistant bacteria. No matter what they tried nothing touched it. He became increasingly more ill, then explosive diarrhea, apparent NOT C-diff, but may as well have been, as nothing stopped it. After about 6 days in hospital he begged to go "home" to his ALF facility on Hospice. At 85 he passed quickly after that. The sepsis was from a small non healing wound on shin which apparently went to a cellulitis he kept well hidden from others. He thought for several days he had the flu.
Just never came out of it. Sepsis, no matter from original source is often devastating. Antibiotics seem to be less effective against more and more resistant strains.
My brother begged for Hospice, as did I. He was facing down a probable early Lewy's diagnosis,and he was as happy to try to beat that one to his grave, quite frankly.
I wish your Mom luck. I hope you will update us.
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Maddaughter50 Apr 2022
Thanks Alvadeer. The Sepsis has come from of course, a UTI. The nurse called me and let me know she didn't really want to eat, or drink, didn't want to set up in a chair, etc. I talked to mom earlier and she told me, "Boy are they making me drink water," and they have changed her to another antibiotic which is making her feel nauseous/lousy.

My mom has medicare and a major supplement thanks to my dad's time in the service, so I'll be making some calls. If we can set something up for her at home, the city in which I live has one of the best Hospice agencies according to people I've known who've used them. This is hard but I don't want things to get uglier for her.
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When my husband was diagnosed with Failure To Thrive--the worst words I think I ever heard--meant that the doctors would NOT continue any therapeutics UNLESS my husband showed signs of improvement...on his own.

BUT speak with the team about the circumstances that would prompt them to intervene, as opposed to taking a comfort-only approach. It sounds like you are unsure.

If your mother is communicative, you may want to talk to her about the differences between her options (e.g., hospice) once you fully understand them. If you are not sure, speak with the person on her team responsible for this type of education, which I'd recommend anyway.

Lastly, I would suggest you speak with the key players of her care team (medical and social) there at the SAME TIME to discuss both things I mentioned. Their individual input, when all assembled, will give you a better understanding of the big picture.

I'm sorry you had to hear those words. To you, my heart...and hugs.
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I am going to change your name here to
Daughter50.
As my Grandma used to say.."people get angry, dogs get mad"
You mention in your profile that you are guilty caregiving.
I am sure your mom would not want you feeling guilty.
If you are making decisions that in your head you know are right then that is all that can be expected.
When I was caring for my Husband I would tell the Hospice CNA that I was ruled by two organs in my body, my Head and my Heart, and that I could only hope that when it came time to make any decisions for him that the correct organ was in charge.
((hugs)) for both of you.
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Maddaughter50 Apr 2022
Well your grandma was right. But I'm still angry as I get older, but I'm working on it.

The thing is, my mom has written a book (figuratively) on how to make all us kids feel guilty, so guilt does creep up from time to time.

This time I've just taken to active listening to what she wants/needs, etc., and if I can do it without destroying my spirit, I will. If I can't, it won't be done.
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Hospice is an option if she no longer wishes to participate, accept treatment.
This, if she is cognizant is her choice.
If she is not cognizant then it is your (or who ever is POA for health) decision to make taking your moms wishes into account. That is the difficult thing to do.
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Maddaughter50 Apr 2022
She is cognizant, no question of that, but unfortunately after speaking to the nurse today it doesn't appear she wants to participate. They're kind of pushing the water drinking on her today, and hoping some antidepressant meds will help her but if not then it is her decision. I have POA - have had it for years, but always told her that as long as she was coherent she would drive this bus, until she couldn't...
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(((hugs)))
Be hopeful. Watch & wait. Sepsis can be halted but not always. So be prepared & realistic too.

It is what it is.
If it is her time - it is her time.
One day at a time.

Find a phrase you feel is right to help though this.

This too will pass.
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Cover99 Apr 2022
Sepsis can be healed, sadly the damage it can do can last a long time or for life.
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Palliative is more treatment and improvement focused, Hospice is strictly pain control and support for all (emotional, religious for the entire family). You are not on both at the same time. Hospice supplies what is needed -hospital bed, meds for pain, shower assistance and weekly nurse visits. They will withdraw if the patient requests treatment -chemo therapy, surgery etc.- it is NOT a death sentence to involve hospice, just a group of compasionate, caring professionals who support the patient and family on the final part of life's journey. Mom (at 91) was on palliative care for a few months after a fall left her in pain and in a wheel chair. They sent occupational therapy and physical therapy. Once she entered memory care, their services were no longer approved. No expectation of improvement.

A year later, she started on hospice care for 22 months during covid shut down, then off for 6 months and is back on now using a different company; they seem to work very much the same way. The focus is to make the body comfortable (liquid pain relief) so it stops fighting to stay alive (a natural reaction). NO ONE can say how long a person will llive, hospice just eases the fear and offers the family information and support. Mom, now 96, has no quality of life (dependant on others for everything, does not know me, where she is, if she had a meal and mostly can not process any information) but is not in any pain, when the staff sees her grimace or act uncomfortable, they have the hospice supplied access to lotion, drugs, items to help. My husband and I commiserate she will out live both of us. Her next hospice review is end of April and my prayer is that they will keep her on (each renewal is for 2 months). Best wishes, I hope your Mom will reconsider hospice, it is only a good thing.
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Hugs to you! We are both at a crossroads of what now? Which way? All I can tell you is I'm so sorry...so much pain.
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Palliative care is not necessarily hospice. If a consult with Palliative care is offered, the palliative MD can help you decide on goals of treatment, what are the possible pathways and outcomes and maybe understand the situation your mother is in since they have seen it many times, the first for you and your mother. You can choose hospice after palliative consult or not, will be your choice but having them review the situation and give recommendations may help you and your mother. Sending a hug.
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My Mom, at 87, was living alone at her home, was consistently losing weight and getting weaker. We had daily Meals on Wheels delivery for her and we would take some of our prepared food to her, or bring her favorite take out foods. Her freezer was stocked with frozen dinners. She was diagnosed as Failure to thrive. We found out she was often eating only buttered toast much of the time.

We soon moved her into Assisted Living, which she suggested and selected because an acquaintance of hers liked living there. Made it so easy for me! She was placed on Hospice due to the Failure to Thrive, but several months later, after getting 3 healthy meals every day, she was taken off Hospice and put on Home Health. They came to check her vitals and helped bathe her twice weekly, and set up her daily meds. That was our experience with Failure to Thrive diagnosis. She finally passed @ 92 with mild dementia, several TIAs and finally a stroke.
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