Does anyone have a method to keep mom from waking up and walking at night?

Sorry to hear about your mother...you must be exhausted and my heart goes out to you. I had the same situation with my mom and ended up putting her in a nursing home where they could watch her better. At night, they attach an alarm to her shirt that goes off when she tries to get up. She also has two roommates who can call the nurse if she gets up...which she does all the time. She had a couple of falls--no surprise--but she was ok. Then she fell and broke her hip. She's now getting physical therapy there. Last week she fell again and hit her head on the nightstand...got a nasty bump but was thankfully ok. I'm telling you all this because I believe this is part of the dementia "disease" and you will destroy your life if you try to handle this yourself.

My suggestion it to put her in a nursing home. I know it doesn't feel right to do that but ask yourself this question: would you want your children to take care of you if you ever got like your mom knowing what it would do to their lives? I don't think any loving parent would want to do that to their kids. Just my opinion. I'm praying for you and your mother.

Another comment about the sleep prescriptions. My 92 year old MIL is not allowed, by order of her doctor, to take ANYTHING other than mild OTC stuff, unless it will not make her sleepy or disoriented. Elderly folks have Sundowner's Syndrome and confusion and movement in the evening is typical. When you give them things that further disorient them, the liklihood that they will fall and break something is much greater. Be really careful with things that make her sleep. They can cause unwanted issues that you never knew of.

I feel for you msdaizy! My 92 year old husband with Alzheimer's was doing the same thing, and I got to the point of exhaustion from being up ad down most nights. Since we are now with in-home Hospice, I requested a hospital bed, hoping that the adjustable sides would keep him from getting up, knowing that he is too frail to try climbing over the sides. We have had the bed for a week now, and it's been wonderful to tuck him in at night, with an Alprazolam pill in his system, pull up the hospital bed side rails to the highest position, and know that he will stay put all night. This has given me great peace of mind, since he, like your mother, falls frequently. I remind him every night that the rails are to keep him safe from falling out of bed, and he has accepted this surprisingly well. In fact, I think that the sight of the side rails might even be helping him to feel more secure and less restless through the night. Even if you are not with Hospice, if you can afford to rent a hospital bed this might be the best thing you can do for your mother and for yourself. I send an understanding hug to you. Please keep us posted on progress!

The best thing I have found for my mom is for her to have an active and busy day. I take her to a day program that has activities and socialization which she enjoys, though it is a bit stressful getting her out of the house in the morning. She doesn't remember that she has participated in the program at all, which has been over a year now. But once there she enjoys the activities and the friendships she is developing, even if they are new to her each day:) Because she is busy, she sleeps much better at night, and a much more restful sleep. On days that she is home, she mostly sits in her easy chair, reading, or talking which is constant because of the repetition.

Oh, dear cyber friend, we are all experiencing pure hell with this horrible disease. I bought a baby alarm set so I would hear my husband get up. The problem is that it worked so well that I heard every turn he made in bed, cough, murmmer etc.. I had care givers then round the clock staying and dozing in his room while I slept alone in another. After falling numerous times, the doctor sent him to a nursing home. The doctor was worried about me. (Caregivers frequently pass away before the patient.) My husband has been well cared for in the nursing home. Now, he is in the final stage of dementia and I am anxious to have him at peace. I have hospice for him and they are wonderful. Know that you are doing the best that you can and your mom is, also. Tell her that. You must feel no guilt! God bless you. Hugs, Corinne

I would agree that you find her a place where she can be that is equipped to manage dementia and her physical needs and then know in your heart you are doing the best thing for her. You have a family, I take it, and that has to come first now, but that doesn't mean you have to neglect your mom. Having you involved in her care, visiting her, being her advocate sounds like the best you could possibly do for her. If she does fall and break something, I am afraid you would suffer terrible guilt and she would have long term effects from the injury too. Truly, try to see through your own issues of guilt, talk to a pastor or someone who can help you emotionally, and then be there for your mom in a way that allows you to be there for yourself and others you love too. God bless.

The truth is this is the hardest pivot point. There are no good answers for your mom.

But you are killing yourself. The stress will take its toll. We are not taught as women to think of ourselves as much as others. But let me ask you this: What will happen to your beloved mother and your children when YOU wind up in the hospital? or lose your job because you are a wreck?

When I was in your position about five years into caregiving my mother, I called the doctor and she said " Wait until the next time she falls. We will transition her then to the assisted living" But you have to have the cash.

There is a bed pad that has an alarm attached to it that goes off when someone get up - about $400 bucks. But they don't work very well according to a recent hospital study because someone has to intervene with your mother.

How about you rotate your kids to sleep in your Mother's room at night? Get another bed, so she has to climb over your kid to get out. It will wake up your child, so the child can stop grandma and won't hurt grandma with a fall.

Just an idea. We need to be creative with the resources at hand. I was alone when caring for my mother.

You are a good daughter. Be good to yourself, too.

P.S. I also hung bells on the side of her bed so I could hear her getting up and put a chair next to the bed with bells hanging on yarn. But, it doesnt stop you from not having to get up, you just know they are up so if they are safe in their room, you are okay. You can buy a baby monitor and watch her if you want also. Good Luck

Gerontologist, i do agree with you on several points. I do think the lorazepam has an opposite affect on mom when given in a dosage higher than .5mg They tell me to give her 4 of those at a time. I didn't like doing that...it made her obstinant and mean she almost kicked me in the face one night when I was putting a pillow under her knees. So those are not part of my regiman anymore. The trazadone and ambiem seem to work a little and she is somewhat groggy..but not dead drunk like the other made her. She gets up to use the potty because she has a water pill during the day. Don't ask me why? Because she has a strong heart although they have her on high blood pressure meds. But I monitor her pressure all day long and it's not bad. When it isn't bad I don't give her the medication for it. The Hospice nurse tells me that lots of caregivers of Dementia stop the meds that are life sustaining and go with just the comfort and care meds. That's where I am currently ...starting to watch her go off the meds that are life sustaining and working only with ones that comfort her. So far I have seen a big change in her demeanor. She is more like my sweet mom. I know she has a lot of anxiety about wetting in her pants. And I am sure it does keep her up at night.
The new adjustments in meds are giving me a little hope. I am still hanging on to her...not ready to give up yet. I love my sweet mom...and I don't want her to suffer I have mourned the mom I knew..i just hope and pray she goes peacefully in her sleep.

Msdaizy I agree with you, my mom will never go into a nursing home either, she was the best sweetest mom ever to me. Nursing homes give less care than us at home by far, full of infectious diseases, aides that have 7 other patients and they dont give them the time and the love like we do They will medicate her to sleep anyway so you may as well do it at your home. I love to just hold Moms hand or rub her back or face to let her know I am here and she is safe and loved. Seriously, try the depakote, its fabulous stuff if her dr will prescribe. Hang in there xxoo