Follow
Share

Reason he states for revoking P.O.A. is that he wants to access his money just like before, move out of assisted living and into apt. by himself. Drs. orders: not able to handle financial or legal issues and cannot drive. He's not able to administer his own medication, his reasoning and judgement are off. The atty who sent me the ltr has a copy of the drs. statment re: financial, legal issues. Husband stated he wants to appoint a guardian (not me) through the courts to make decisions for him if he is unable to make them for himself. He told atty. that as P.O.A. I have transferred all joint property to my name...not true!!! I took funds out of joint account since he was withdrawing money, making no record of it, etc. from joint account. I did this on the advice of the officers in the bank, since he was calling them multiple times, almost daily and they said that had to stop.That is the only transfer I have made. All this is because he insists he's going to buy another car, drive the car (insurance co. took his name off policy since he had so many accidents in a short period of time), get a dog and move to an apartment on his own. He initially entered AL because I was strongly advised to not take him home, was told by multiple reliable sources that it would not work, it would destroy both of us. How can this happen? I've worked so hard in the past few months to get everything under control!!! Please help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Don't do the math alone. Let an attorney help with that. Perhaps your lawyer can refer you to a family law specialist.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, I did mention divorce. My friends and family want me to file for divorce because he has made everything so impossible; seems hard to believe he can do that with dementia, although he can appear very lucid to many people, especially on the phone. There have been times when I have actually questioned the dementia, but everyone laymen and professionals think I'm crazy to even think he's ok. He also has sundowners which is quite evident to all at A.L. I do believe divorce would be a great relief; however, last night I did the math and it looks as though I would not be able to make it financially if we were divorced. Since I'm 70 years old, finding a job is iffy!! Home is paid for and would hate to lose it. I'm praying an reasonable answer surfaces very soon. I'm so extremely exhausted, each day another issue arises. Would love to get a good night's sleep. Thank you so much for listening.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I hope that you can be in touch with your lawyer soon.

Doctors have said that he is not able to handle financial or legal issues and cannot drive. He's not able to administer his own medication, his reasoning and judgement are off. Would his doctor declare that he is incompetent? I think that must be done by a court, but if his doctor is not willing to state that, it may be hard to get the official judgement.

I know that at one time you were thinking about divorce (I don't know how seriously). Is this the time to throw in the towel and walk away? I know you really wanted to do what was best for him, and to continue to be his wife, but, wow, this is a difficult situation.

Do let us know us know what your attorney advises.

And ... take all of the money out of accounts he has access to! You can divide it up later, if that becomes appropriate, but you sure don't want his poor judgment to get in there and withdraw everything!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you for your quick reply. I've been unable to reach my attorney at this time. The letter states " ...please consider this letter an indication of his revocation of the Power of Attorney". I'm wondering if that means that since I have received this letter that the P.O.A. is revoked? I find that hard to believe; however, I had an atty tell me that since I have received the letter I can no longer act as P.O.A. Am I crazy, I can't believe that can be the case.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I do not believe that he is competent to make a change to his POA. His lawyer may feel obligated to send you that letter, but probably also knows that unless you agree to give it up, it cannot be revoked this way.

If your husband gets a guardian, the guardian has a legal responsibility to act in your husband's best interest. Considering that your husband has impaired judgement, what he thinks he wants is not necessarily in his best interest. I wonder if his lawyer has explained this to him?

I suggest you get your own lawyer, and have an answer sent back stating these things.

If he somehow actually gets a guardian, then divorce might be the best course of action. You have tired and tried and tried to uphold your marriage vows and take care of him in spite of himself. If you no longer have authority to look after his best interests, you need to be free of the situation.

I am so sorry that you are facing this extremely frustating and insane situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter