Any suggestions on how to cope with a mother who makes constant verbal sounds?

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Mom is constant with the same verbal sounds- nothing in the house to trigger it, Oh ho ho- from the moment the little souls feet hit the floor in the morning to bed time- it is like chalk screaching across a black board in my head- I have no one else to come in to give me a break- just me and my husband. Any suggestions on how to cope with the sounds?

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Making the sounds must comfort her in some way (though I can see why it's anything but comforting to you!). Aside from learning to ignore the sounds, all I can suggest is that you call the doctor and see if he or she have an idea. Generally, a diversion of some kind will help, but if she just goes back to making the sound, you'll need more help. If you find something that works, please let us know. You aren't the only one coping with this.
Best,
Carol
My mother, who has come to live with us makes noise constantly. Sometimes it's kind of musical, but when I say musical think of the random, chaotic, insane, melody you might here in a horror movie about a psycho. Much of the time it's just random humming . Very loud random humming. She does it constantly, from the time she get's up, until she lays down at night. If she's moving, she's making noise. I've tried ignoring it, and sometimes I can manage it, but its like Chinese water torture. It's driving me insane. She does it so loud that I can't get away from it in the house. It's audible through doors and walls. If she only did it from time to time, or at least hummed a song, instead of just chaotic noise, it might be tolerable. But it's like being locked up in an insane asylum. I don't think she's even aware she's doing it. When I say something about it, she'll stop for a minute or two, but then just go right back into it. I think I'm losing my mind.
It's time to get yourselves an IPOD and download some of your favorite music. Time to 'tune in & tune out' at least that's what I would do.
I am overly sensitive to certain sounds, some are actually an irritating frequency and some, I confess, are more irritating because the person causing them irritates me anyway.
My thoughts are
#1- you really need to find a way to have time off every week.
#2- squishy earplugs. they don't have to totally block sound, but they take the edge off while allowing you to communicate with your mom.
#3- push back. i find when a sound really aggravates me, if I "reply" by humming, singing or verbally countering in some way, it is as if I am equalizing the pressure :-) With your mom, just think of it as part of a conversation. Her: "Oh ho ho", you "yes sirree!" I'm not being facetious, it really helps.
Isn't it odd that we were never really taught about all the problems associated with the elderly and parents especially! Somehow without knowing...we are just in the middle of this new phase of life with no directions . Thank God for this site and everyone who contributes to it! Mom (96) makes a continual "uh-uh-uh" sound when she is stressed when in the house. When we go out or are around other people she stops!!! Sometimes I think it is a reflex of having to do something she has difficulty with or maybe attention getting so someone else will come to help her. It is definitely annoying. I've made her aware of it, but she continues to do it. She doesn't have dementia and has all her faculties. I tell her to "breathe" because it is interrupting her breathing...like delayed breathing. It seems to work when she is told about it. I really can't be too harsh about it, after all she is 96 and has it difficult living with my dad who has dementia. When she starts in with the "uh-uhs" I go find something else to do away from her...that is when I know she is ok and not seriously in pain or trouble. I also just try to busy myself with something else to take my mind off of it. Stay on this site because I'm sure someone will come up with a great solution for you! Peace be with you!
I googled this today because I just don't know what to do. I DO get annoyed and at the same time, I am working on my own growth of transcending the annoyance. I have tried to not engage her or respond...it starts FIRST thing in the morning when I walk into her room. It's a constant sigh. I no longer ask her how she is doing. I bring her meds and walk out of the room. When she talks, it's in a growling type of sound. It is CONSTANT!!!!! non stop. I have heard these sighs most of my life so it's not because of age of illness. She also many many times a day will say, "i'm so tired"....what else is new????? all day..." oh...my knee!"
it's almost funny and like groundhog day because it is the same thing every day....she will say " i dont know what's wrong today"
I was beginning to challenge her by asking what is different today being that she says it all the time. She gets angry when I question her....about ANYTHING!!!!!!
then she let's out these loud sounds of pain when she does something. It's scarey! Startling.....I really dont know what to pay attention to anymore.
seriously...it is constant. There is never a time that there is silence and it is very disturbing...and depressing.
I think about mentioning it but refrain in fear of her exploding at me saying that all I do is criticize her bt I think I would want my daughter to make me aware of this if she isn't already because it is very very hard to be around.
My mother makes bird like sounds and screeches when she gets excited. She runs through the grocery store and chases children if I turn my back. Her behavior is always worse around me than anyone else and she appears to be trying to get attention. Her short and long term memory are distorted and she has fabricated memories (she keeps telling everyone we knew Elvis). Neurologist said it was dementia/alzheimers with behavioral issues. She is constantly trying to get attention (like telling the church members she wants whiskey) When I catch her doing something like hiding the mail she makes up lies to cover herself. I am just beside myself with this situation . My mother was a very serious retired school teacher /sunday school teacher.
My mother moans all night. When I check on her she says she doesn't know she is doing it. I have asked the doctor for advise and her thoughts on this , she has no answer , but to drug her. I don't want to do that because the next day is not a good day for my mom after the meds. My husband and I need a full night sleep.
sandwich42plus .. NO NO NO we are not abusive at all. For goodness sakes, I do not reprimand or punish her, and she gets plenty of care and understanding. I don't know where that idea came from, but I am really offended by your reply. Just simply asked for advice on the constant noises as many others have done under this topic.. She doesn't make those noises near as loud when her hearing aides are on, so its just a thing when they are off or turned way down..(thus controllable) but she is always taking them off LOL.. She is in mid stages of Alzheimers and still does most everything she has always done except drive and go places by herself. I thought this forum was for help and support not to beat someone up for asking a question. ss
My mom has just started humming. She has been talking to people on the "air phone" (an imaginary phone on which she can contact anyone and conversate) for quite a while now. A few years ago my sister was found dead in bed at the age of 46. My father died of pancreatic cancer a couple years later. My 4-year-old nephew was hit by a truck and killed in front of his mother and then my brother committed suicide (he was also 46 when he died). I am one of two siblings left. Even though my brother lives just a few miles away and works even closer, he will not participate in her care, talk to her on the phone or visit her at all.

My mom lays on her bed while I work in the room next to her and chats it up with my living brother on the "air phone" all day long. I moved her in with me when my younger brother passed because the stress of everything was just too much for her to handle.

I went through a divorce after 22 years during all of this. I don't have a spouse to help me and my children don't come around at all because they resent the time and attention I have to give to her. They also resent the fact that I am not 100% (far from it) -- constantly emotionally wrought with the current or pending crisis.

Lately I find myself feeling so angry and resentful. I have asked her siblings for help -- they don't have time. The grandchildren won't help. I am so tearful and just cannot concentrate. I am really worried about myself and don't know how I will ever have a life again. I should be enjoying my time with her, but instead I am devastated every single day by a new development in her dementia.

I just needed to complain :) Thanks.

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