Follow
Share

i live in NC, caring for an 86 yr old man. his family all live out of state. they 'made' me get a credit card in my name but i pay his bills with it and ive gotten behind on keeping it paid- thats right i pay for it as well! he is currently in the hosp for dementia related issues and his dr wants him in a skilled nursing home- i have NO WHERE to go. his family made me get rid of my car 2 yrs ago- ive been caring for him for 2 years. the 1st year i begged for payment of some sort. i also pay for my own food. he and his kid's can afford payment. they refuse to take out taxes as well.. HELP PLEASE!!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Ellie, my mom can afford it, but sister is concerned about impact on her inheritance. It happens so often! Would I do it again knowing what I know now? I'm not even sure how I would answer this. I have asked to be paid for two years now, when I started sister offered to pay me but my response let's wait a few months and see where this goes. Well it keeps going and going and going to the point of having to file a guardian and conservator petition with the court.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

i got suckered too. at least you get 100!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Crivers17, My advice is keep looking for a job while he is in the hospital. The family isn't going to kick you out, they need you still. What I think you need is to transition to your own space, if you get a job you can rent a room somewhere else. Have you checked grocery stores, they are hiring like crazy this time of year. Gladimhere, I would hope that the family member wouldn't charge as much as these caregivers were asking. I let the discussion of money be between the caregiver and my Mom and that is what happened, the main caregiver is charging 250 a day. No I do not think room and board should count towards a family member, I also think if the parents can afford it why not pay the family member well for caring for the parent.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Elliebabe-
Will you be my sister? If it were a family member caring for your mom would you feel differently about paying them? Would you deduct room and board from what is customary? There are so many horrible stories on the site about family caregivers and the abuse they take from other members of their dysfunctional families.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Seek another job. Go to an agency and seek employment through them, as a live in caretaker, that way you get a job and place at the same time. Once there, seek legal advice on suing for damages owed.

BTW, in Miami, not too long ago there was a couple who had to pay restoration and were actually charged with kidnapping for hiring an illegal, underpaying them, being abusive employers nd what really got them in hot water is they had taken away her passport which translated into kidnapping! If an undocumented worker who was working illegally was protected from employer abuse, then you certainly have a right to expect protection.

Good luck
L
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Also, what contract do you have with the family?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You need a lawyer. Legal Aid of North Carolina provides assistance to low income clients.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Elliebabe- yes, i do have a hard time and i've tried to voice my concerns and i continually get thrown under the bus so to speak. he rents his home, which he paid up on a new lease til Sept '14. i've been looking for work for about 6 mos. we live in a tourist area and it being our winter, makes it hard to find any work. even McDonald's isnt hiring.. im at my wit's end. even while he's in the hospital, his family is ordering me around to run errands for them 'on behalf of their dad'.. whenever i try to fend for myself, they all gang up and threaten to reduce my pay even more. all my family has passed and i wasnt 'allowed' to go to my own parent's funerals out of state bc they wouldn't bring someone in to cover for me. i have nothing and been stripped of all outside connections, that's why im reaching out thru here before i have a nervous breakdown :'( Thank you for replying so quickly!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh my gosh! Seems like you've been suckered, do you have a hard time standing up for yourself? If he goes into a nursing home I would ask to stay at his home and visit him in the nursing home. Then get a job so you can have some sort of income. Talk to the family about this, if they have a heart they should help you, does he own his home? I pay my Moms caregivers 1600 a week and my Mom provides the food.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter