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I feel that I am out of my depth looking after my father, who has vascular dementia. I feel so isolated and need time out to talk to someone and off-load.

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Check your phone book. We have a government run Senior Center not far from us where county residents can drop their loved ones off during the day. Activities run from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm weekdays. There are also monthly meetings for caregivers, so while your dad is participating or simply watching a scheduled activity you can share your burdens and perhaps get ideas from the trained staff and other caregivers. There are fees charged for these services here, so be sure to call before you go.
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The time to seek therapy is as soon as you feel you might benefit from it, or when other people who have your interests at heart suggest it to you.

So, do it now.
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Contact your local social services or council on aging for advice on services available for your Dad. You need to find some time away, even just a couple of hours each day. Do you have family who could relieve you a couple of weekends a month or maybe they could pay to have someone take over for you.

You need therapeutic support from day one in my opinion. It just too much for one person to handle all alone. Check for a caregivers support group in your area. One way to make friends, share concerns and just talk it out. Your doctor should be able to give you the name of a therapist if you prefer talking to a professional, it can only help. Best of luck.
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