Resentment towards sister. Any advice?

I do not even speak to my sister after what she did to me and my mother. I have no use for a person like that. You have to protect yourself in certain situations. My sister underhandedly got power of attorney and then totally cut me out of my mothers care. All my sister ever wanted was to handle the money, never wanted to actually care for our mother. My mother lived with me for a year and a half and because I was having a hysterectomy I asked my sister to care for her and she refused. I ended up moving my mother into a nursing home. My sister eventually moved my mother into a nursing home by her even though she goes to texas for 6 months ever year. She took her from the town where all my mother relatives and where I live. She let them drug her up on a chemical constraint so my mother became a fall risk and could not speak, just whistled. I begged her to get her off the Depakote as it was causing muscle weakness and clouding her head, that is why she became a fall risk. Even when my mother didn’t know what a fork was for and didn’t know how to sit on a toilet she could walk and talk just as good as me. Of course she didn’t make sense when she would talk, but at least she talked. She finally aspirated ended up in the hospital and they took her off the Depakote because the doctor said it was medically unnecessary. She had almost immediate increased mental capacity and she started to speak in words again. The chemical constraint had done that much damage and the nurse kept telling my sister it was a progression of the disease. I was helpless to help my mother because my sister would not allow it I have since going to court to get guardianship and turns out her power of attorney was not valid. I moved my mother back to her home town near me and she is doing fabulous, except because of what they did to her she will never walk again because she cannot be trained to do so. My sister did this to her. If they had taken her off the Depakote when I told them it was the problem she would have never stopped walking, Always research the drugs they give them because they always try to give a chemical constraint and call is a progression of the disease to make their job easier. Do not feel guilty, those people, relatives or not, are not worth having in your life.

You know, its your choice, I have a brother, who did not helped with mom for 13 years she was living with me, and I accepted this, never having a vacations without her, not be able to go anywhere without her, ruining my marriage because of her. Then one year he came (not because of her, just because of his son, who came to study in USA) and I figured out my cancer diagnosis, and asked him the first time for all those 13 years to help me, take her to his house for at least my treatments time,,,,nothing happens, I said a harsh words to him and his family....
In a result, I do not have brother at all, they banned me from everything, mom was getting worse for the last year and finally she is in NH, I am feeling guilty but in the same time very alone, as i dont have even a possibility to talk to him....so you decide...

Ttracy72, welcome to my world only I have 3 siblings & 4 step-siblings. Mine never let me know about Mom's condition until they couldn't handle any longer. I went to Court and they just tell me they're glad not to be in my place. My step-siblings have already taken over $30.000 from my Mom. None of them visit while I drive from TX to AZ for a week once a month, take care of the bills, maintenance of Mom's house/property/assisted group home care/doctor's visits/investments. I am stressed to the point I need another therapist because I'm stress eating and spending money like crazy all the signs of depression. I wouldn't change this for anything because I am taking care of Mom and what I'm going through is worth it for a Mom who had 2 daughters getting pregnant in high school, drugs and children who have done the same. A brother who is unable to accept what is happening with Mom. Doesn't make me happy, but I know what Mom wanted before she started slipping away due to Alzheimer's. She is now my child and I'm her Mother. She deserves everything I can do for her.
Your problem is 1 that instead of trying to take your sister on, get an attorney and let the legal system see what she is or isn't doing and petition to become guardian/conservator.
IF mine siblings were ever to try and take this from me, they'd lose big time.
Take everything away from her through the Court, turn the tables on her.
I'm also fighting 4 step-siblings and I wish they'd let me take care of my step-father too. They all live out of State and they're just collecting his retirement and my Mom's $30.000 waiting to divide the $$$.
GO AFTER HER WITH THE HELP OF AN ATTORNEY.

I resent all 7 so called siblings, but they don't realize that they are under my thumb now.

What goes around comes around

When feelings are so raw it is very hard to see things differently. You are grieving and missing your mom terribly and also feeling angry and let down by someone that simply, should have been there, with everything it implies.

Please know that sadly your situation is not uncommon; family members can display the most amazingly selfish behavior. I am afraid we all could write some pages describing how people has truly surprised us displaying behavior that we could have never imagined, yet, they are our family.

I think the only approach that could help me to see things under a different light would be to think about what my mom would have wanted me to do.
Would she have wanted me to be angry and resentful towards my sister?

Working on not resenting her, specially now that things are still fresh, still happening, is extremely hard, so what I would do is to keep distance, at least for now. And if she is not doing what she should still now, take it as ‘the expected’, nothing new, so no reason to add to the list of things that hurt you.

Stopping resenting someone that has hurt us deeply, particularly because I know she didn’t only let you down, but you feel she let your mom down too, which is also hurtful, is not a simple process; it will take time and patience, but keep in mind that resenting her will only hurt you, not so much her. She will continue living life as usual, meanwhile you will have have bitterness and a forever open wound in your heart.

Think about your mom, she would not want her daughters to resent each other, right?
Do what is in your hands, which is all you can control, to release the resentment, but for now distance yourself mentally and even physically. You need time and space to heal a little, but work on that resentment as soon as able, as soon as a little bit more at peace.

May God bless you and help you find the strength and wisdom to deal with this situation!

been there done that and learned that I have a family and life of my own and I need to let go and go about my business. Four sisters not one willing to help, call or offer a penny to my parents in their elderly sickly years till their passing.
I gave up asking,, begging and even caring for my sisters due to the lack of care when it came to my parents lives. they claimed they have their own and don't have time for parents. well I have my own also, kids, job, husband, home etc but I managed to take care of them.
As the parents got worse health wise I realized my time with them was limited so I decided to move in with them and love them as much as I could to the very end. and that is what I did.
I had four sisters once, but not anymore.
my parents, their parents brought us into this world , loved them and was always their for them and they don't have time to chip in to help with them.
go on with your life. forget about them as you now know who and what your they are, truly are....if something happened to you I hope you don't try to depend on them as lepard don't change their spots if you know what I mean.
forget and concentrate on your family, loved ones and don't look back.