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I have been his sole caregiver for 3 years. Have some help now, still resentful. He has had multiple problems starting with knee replacement,infection, ICU, ventilator, and many doctor's. He is 83, I am 75 and a former nurse. He has never been good patient, does not tolerate pain well and very demanding. I have lost my patience.

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I agree with lindaz, start looking into Assisted Living. If he is a wartime vet, VA will give him Aid and Attendance if he needs it. And the VA does not put a lien on anything like Medicaid does.
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Strief, do you think he would be better off in an assisted living facility? It sounds as if you are at the end of your rope. There is no shame in that! You are a nurse and trained to take care of difficult people, but it is a whole different problem when he is your husband. Is he mentally sound? Because that also is important to know. How would he react to being in a different living situation? Has he always been this difficult? Because you do not deserve to be abused by him, not verbally, mentally or emotionally! In my mind that would be a deal breaker and I would vote to put him in a NH or AL situation. Please let me know how things are going. Many hugs, Linda
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And probably your rest? I know after I am up all night if dad has a bad spell I am less than happy the next day... He gets hostile with Mom and I, and I just try to get him out of the bedroom and downstairs for awhile before he wakes everyone up. He has told me he is going to "bop" me or mom, and 2 minutes later he is fine.. I hate it. Lack of sleep can do you in.If this is contributing to the problem? Try to rest when you have help.
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