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My brother is 49 and still living at home. He has no job, no drivers license and not much incentive to do anything to get out on his own. Currently the majority of my parents limited income goes to support him, (phone, food, clothes, etc). The original arrangement to him living at home was that he was to cook, clean house and help take care of mom and take some of the care giving burden off my dad. My mom has dementia and recently diagnosed with end stage renal disease. My father complains about the costly meds and other costs but is not willing to do anything about the elephant in the room. My other siblings are upset about the lack of care and support from my brother but don't know what to do. Dad has stated that he fears my brother winding up in a homeless shelter should anything happen to them. We're more concerned with our mothers health and our dads health as well, as he now suffers from depression. Dad is 79 and mom is 74. Are there any legal options we (the siblings) have here?

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Before the family confronts the brother, get all the information you can and verify. Does your brother mistreat your parents? does he do the chores he's supposed to? Why are the sibs unhappy with the situation? Are they resentful that he lives for free? Are they afraid mum and dad will give him their house (the inheritance) when they die? These are honest questions that need to be answered. Make sure you have valid reasons for needing him out of there. If there is mistreatment, then he needs to go. If he treats them well and really does help, then talk to dad about drawing up an agreement so everyone knows what is expected. Whoever has the best relationship with dad can start the discussions. Bottom line, if your father likes that his son lives with him, then you can't force your brother out of there. But you can keep the communication open with dad to make sure that the situation is beneficial for your parents. If bro is mooching, then the deal should be that he has to contribute financially to household by getting some type of job. But remember, your dad has final say.
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correction ... thought of as a moocher BY YOUR dearly beloved family
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Hey bear (btw, my deceased Rottweiler's name) - well, thx for your support-in-arms. It's difficult to be a hard working full-time caretaker yet be thought of as a moocher are you are dearly beloved family. I see you know the feeling too.

Also wanted to say, I got a great humorous kickstart for my day with the thought of the elephant police...hahahahaha !!!
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UGH...WAIT!!!! I agree with CarolLynn!!!.....Whos living agreement? your dads or yours? Does he have a family caregiving contract? Maybe he should have an outlined job description.for exchange of living expenses?Then given a chance with that before calling "elephant" police.Is he truely neglecting them or possibly cant take care of 2 people 24/7? Have you had a family sit down with social worker? Does he understand your concerns? I believe a little outside guidance would make more peace.in family. I have been accused also by siblings of not doing enough, taking advantage but I was available to move in &gave up my social life,temporarily, getting no pay, social security,cant leave her , & i give my all 24/7 at 53 this is what i wanted.? I d rather be working again as a nurse elsewhere & sleeping well but my mom is big part in my life.. she says she is happy so i am ok with it.,It took All those people to be called ,time frustration fighting for them to see it was their attitude not mine. y.At least I get pat on back from mom, Dr 's, social worker,nurse AND APS! Sometimes people have expectations on us caregivers that are not realistic.....Maybe there other reasons ? I'd Have a sit down with third party,social worker it will give everybody a better understanding of care needed ,the seriousness of this issue,and concerns vented by all the family,esp parents. Have you seen the bills? Are you ready to see more than that given to strangers? Add it up, look at options & present your ideas with open mind and good luck! Maybe you can get him help if he needs therapy or another caregivers help or whatever is nec.just remember this is your family........and how would u like to be treated.......if it was you there.....in each ones shoes.....HUGS
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corrections ...

did he perhaps WORK THEN LOSE his job during this lousy economy

the older they get the LESS THEY help emotionally

BUT MEN aren't built that way

as A CHILD who has been treated very unfairly in the caretaking situation

more details ABOUT WHY YOU WANT to get him out of the house

some stranger to take over THE HELP HE maybe providing
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

PLEASE LET CALMER HEADS PREVAIL!
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Hey, wait ... not enough information here yet to be getting the authorities involved and making a family crisis that will definitely affect your father even if not your mother on some visceral level.

At 49, has brother ALWAYS lived at the family home since he perhaps finished college? Or did he perhaps working lose his job during this lousy economy? Did he move BACK to do the needed care taking you speak of? If so, how long ago?

If any of this rings true, you should be thinking about care taker burnout. Even with dad helping, even if Dad is competent, the older they get the last day help emotionally. Also, in this economy, at 49, it's getting harder and harder to find a job except flipping burgers at McDonalds or a store greeter at Walmart. How could your brother do that and come home to care take also. I know its what women have been doing for years (see book The Second Shift, decades old) Batman aren't built that way.

If my mother had gotten sick instead of my father, I don't know what we would have done. I helped my mom take care of my dad but if it had been the other way around, my dad would have "been there" but he wouldn't have known what to do and I've been doing it all myself.

How about starting with a family roundtable discussion with everyone present except maybe Mom. As H I'll who's been treated very unfairly in the care taking situation with in my family, I'm a little sensitive to you wailing on your brother without you giving more details I did and how to get him out of the house. It may not be fair to remove him from the house just so you can doubly or triply pay some stranger to take over to help you may be providing.
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Sad situation. If your dad is competent, and he is allowing his son to mooch, I do not think you can really do much. No doubt your brother is taking advantage, I just do not think APS would do much if your dad is competent. You need to start by speaking tp your dad and getting his support before you take any actions outside the family.
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You can contact Adult Protective Services (without giving your name). They will come out and do an assessment of your parents and home. They will make recommendations. Also, it might be wise to contact on Elder Lawyer for guidance in how to handle this situation. It could be time to contact their physician about in-home health care providers. Medicare will pick up basic charges depending on the needs.

Contacting the police about having your brother removed could be difficult for the family to do; but, it could be a little fear and get him more involved in your parents' care. It would also let him know you mean business!

Good luck!
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