Relative has become incontinent of bowel since entering nursing home. Any advice?

Dignity is of the utmost importance to the elderly and it's what we should keep number one in our daily practices. I don't believe "toileting" this poor man all day long would contribute to his well being much. I'm thinking Depends are what he needs. My aunt is definitely not on any pooping schedule. She gets up in the morning with poop in her pants. She might do it again that afternoon and then again later on that evening. You never know and really, there's no way to know when they have to go. I don't think it's right to put a person on a toilet and have them sit there until they go. I think there is more of a dignity factor when they go on their own in their diaper and get changed. In a matter of minutes they are clean and happy again with more time to enjoy life instead of being made to try to poop the clean way to appease the caregivers.

Is he oppossed to adult diapers or is it you? As awful as it seems to those of us you thankfully don't need them, it might just be the answer you're looking for. Makes it easier on the patient as well as the attendants who care for him. It will become part of his routine, they clean him up and he goes back to whatever it was he was doing. It doesn't end up becoming the center of his existence.

My 87 year old Mother lives with me and was incontinent so it wasn't neglect on taking her to the bathroom its very common for elderly to become incontinent. She seemed relieved once she started wearing depends, elderly people are fragile this takes one less stress from their day

When my mom first moved to the care unit she is now, she REALLY had difficulty with her bowels. Either she was having diarrhea or constipation. This went onfor two months. (NOTE: I have since learned from a doctor not to try to stop the diarrhea, as there might be an obstruction (aka, hardened poop), and the diarrhea might just be going over and under it, and if you try to get the diarrhea under control, you might have a bigger problem with the constipation). Anyway, after numerous attempts to get things under control, I just told my mother to do what I have done every day for many many years; namely to eat a small Gala apple every morning, just BEFORE she has had a full glass of water. That's the way she starts her day. First thing. She has not had a problem with diarrhea or constipation since. She still does wear panty liners in her underwear just to be on the safe side, but she is much better off than when she first got to the new home. Perhaps something as simple as this can help others be more regular and more predictable. I wish you all the very best of luck.

You mention he cannot use the call bell. There are a wide variety of adaptive call bells available that he may be able to use.

Has he been checked for a bladder infection? The elderly don't always have pain with bladder infections. It can cause incontinence and it could also cause memory loss.

Volunteers are not allowed to do any kind of direct care. The facility must meet his needs legally by providing him with an alternate way of signaling for assistance if he cannot find the call bell.
You can decrease the amount of times a person is incontinent but it would be unrealistic to expect that in long term care; unless you hired a private CNA to put the extra time required. I once had a client with Alzheimers who was very incontinet. Initially,put client on a shecdule of toileting every one to two hours. Then things
progressed rapidly once I learned the clients patterns, and body language. So what I did was develop a routine .I toileted at specific times, upon my arrival in the morning ,even if client was found incontinent. After each meal and again whenever body language dictated. I made well balanced meals and made sure client was adequately hydrated.
Clients became rarely incontinent, and required much less frequent toileting.
I actually stopped using Depends except for outings and before bedtime if I put client to bed.
The facility should be checking on him every 2 hours to make sure he is well and to take care of his needs.

girlscout103, why does a uti cause cognitive decline in an elderly person? I've never heard an explanation -- maybe we don't know why -- ?? But it is certainly the case that it does. My Aunt E lived to 100, with no sign whatsoever of dementia EXCEPT once in her 80s when she was hallucinating. Turned out to be a uti. Cure the uti and E is back to normal.

My mother has mild dementia that became severe dementia for the duration of a uti, and is back to mild now that is cleared up.

I'll be interested is anyone knows why this happens.

This is so sad, I pray to God I don't have to put one of our parents in a nursing home. It has to be twice as hard for your parent being deaf and blind. I don't trust some of those people in nursing homes. They probably get tired of cleaning up some of these seniors and may get abusive.

My 80 year old MIL who lives with us has been incontinent for years. We started using Depends right away and she is comfortable with them and it is a non issue. She uses a maximum absorbency overnight diaper while sleeping and we avoid a wet bed about half the time. We use protective padding, protective mattress cover, a sheet folded across the bed width wise and we change out these top layers daily when she wets the bed. When she is up we toilet her about every 4 hours, and she does fine. If she has to poop great, if not, fine. We will all be there someday.