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I think it might be because he cannot call for the help. He cannot use call button, disability prevents this, he is also deaf and blind.

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Being deaf and blind must be the worst. It walls him off from any communications. Does he know braille?
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Willows ... Just something to think about. There is an aerobics instructor that I know. She also works cremating people in her husbands business. She says she can always tell when a person has been in a good nursing home and a not-so-good nursing home, by they way they have been bathed, have or do not have bed sores, etc. I would say to all out "there" to not paint all nursing homes with the same brush. There are some that I would not put my worst enemy in (those are, quite often, profit-driving private or corporate run operations), but there are some which have very dedicated people who give 100%. In either case, their job is very hard, which is why it is important that we (the families) need to drop by from time to time and spend time with our loved ones and even take them out of the nursing home, if nothing more than a short ride in the car or a movie, or, if possible, a slow walk outside. Nature heals.

GIRLSCOUT103...As for the incontinent issue, it could be the diet, including too much vitamin C (from any source and not just a vitamin C pill...oranges, etc). Also, when my mother first moved to where she is, she had a great deal of problems going from diarrhea to constipation and back and forth. She is fine now that I got her on a schedule of eating one SMALL apple first thing in the morning. BUT...often, I just thought that she was just very nervous being in a new place and that she was afraid, and all of that contributed with the difficulty with her bowels, which have settled down now.

I would check on your relative as often as you can (daily if possible) and just reassure him that he is safe and loved and just check if you can on what is being served. Sometimes, just the basics can help, e.g., not eating ice cream.

Since he is deaf and blind, I would guess he is even more frightened and perhaps doesn't understand his surroundings yet. And with having a disability on top of it and not being able to use the call button, that just makes it harder on him. I empathize completely with your situation. Do your best to help him learn the environment and get creative on using the call button or, perhaps an attendant can check on him more often, considering that he is deaf and blind. You are not in an easy situation, but your relative is in a very frightening situation for him. I don't know how mobile he is, but try your best to help him find the toilet, and that, alone, might help ease his anxiety. Give him all the love you can and as often as you can. This is all very hard on him right now...I know it is on you, too.
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This is one of the reasons I would never consider putting my hubby in a nursing home. The "best" of them are terrible places to be. And that is my never-to-be-humble opinion.
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My 80 year old MIL who lives with us has been incontinent for years. We started using Depends right away and she is comfortable with them and it is a non issue. She uses a maximum absorbency overnight diaper while sleeping and we avoid a wet bed about half the time. We use protective padding, protective mattress cover, a sheet folded across the bed width wise and we change out these top layers daily when she wets the bed. When she is up we toilet her about every 4 hours, and she does fine. If she has to poop great, if not, fine. We will all be there someday.
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When my mom first moved to the care unit she is now, she REALLY had difficulty with her bowels. Either she was having diarrhea or constipation. This went onfor two months. (NOTE: I have since learned from a doctor not to try to stop the diarrhea, as there might be an obstruction (aka, hardened poop), and the diarrhea might just be going over and under it, and if you try to get the diarrhea under control, you might have a bigger problem with the constipation). Anyway, after numerous attempts to get things under control, I just told my mother to do what I have done every day for many many years; namely to eat a small Gala apple every morning, just BEFORE she has had a full glass of water. That's the way she starts her day. First thing. She has not had a problem with diarrhea or constipation since. She still does wear panty liners in her underwear just to be on the safe side, but she is much better off than when she first got to the new home. Perhaps something as simple as this can help others be more regular and more predictable. I wish you all the very best of luck.
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This is so sad, I pray to God I don't have to put one of our parents in a nursing home. It has to be twice as hard for your parent being deaf and blind. I don't trust some of those people in nursing homes. They probably get tired of cleaning up some of these seniors and may get abusive.
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girlscout103, why does a uti cause cognitive decline in an elderly person? I've never heard an explanation -- maybe we don't know why -- ?? But it is certainly the case that it does. My Aunt E lived to 100, with no sign whatsoever of dementia EXCEPT once in her 80s when she was hallucinating. Turned out to be a uti. Cure the uti and E is back to normal.

My mother has mild dementia that became severe dementia for the duration of a uti, and is back to mild now that is cleared up.

I'll be interested is anyone knows why this happens.
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Volunteers are not allowed to do any kind of direct care. The facility must meet his needs legally by providing him with an alternate way of signaling for assistance if he cannot find the call bell.
You can decrease the amount of times a person is incontinent but it would be unrealistic to expect that in long term care; unless you hired a private CNA to put the extra time required. I once had a client with Alzheimers who was very incontinet. Initially,put client on a shecdule of toileting every one to two hours. Then things
progressed rapidly once I learned the clients patterns, and body language. So what I did was develop a routine .I toileted at specific times, upon my arrival in the morning ,even if client was found incontinent. After each meal and again whenever body language dictated. I made well balanced meals and made sure client was adequately hydrated.
Clients became rarely incontinent, and required much less frequent toileting.
I actually stopped using Depends except for outings and before bedtime if I put client to bed.
The facility should be checking on him every 2 hours to make sure he is well and to take care of his needs.
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Has he been checked for a bladder infection? The elderly don't always have pain with bladder infections. It can cause incontinence and it could also cause memory loss.
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Thank all of you for your compassion, knowledge and wisdom. Another issue I would like to explore is ...why, does an otherwise a-symptomatic uti or urine retention cause cognitive decline in my brother; what is the connection with the brain? Are there symptoms to be on the lookout for so an treatment intervention can be made before the cognitive decline sets in?
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My husband, who has early on set Lewy Body Dementia (LBD), has increased problems with incontinence anytime he doesn't feel good OR there is a disruption in his routine. So a toothache, colonoscopy, bathroom remodel, travel, etc. and he becomes more incontinent, sleeps less and his memory is worse. Once he feels better, his routine is restored, or a new routine is established, things go back to his "normal" more or less. I say more or less, because LBD is degenerative, so to some extent he is gradually slipping.

Even without dementia, the older we get major changes are harder to adjust to, so moving to a new care facility would take a few weeks to get used to the new routine.

The most important thing I have learned from dealing with my husband is that we can't always fix things with meds. Sometimes it can be fixed with a little time and patience, if we take the time to stop and think about what physical, mental, or emotional stresses have been going on and then give them (their brains and bodies) time to adjust.
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My mom was at a NH for rehab last year and I learned alot! She uses depends and has fulltime for almost 2 yrs. She usually relies on them for when she can't quite make it to the bathroom or bedside pot or just for little "accidents". I spent a lot of time at the facility and saw how long it can take an attendant/nurse aide to come. For awhile I wasn't allowed to help her out of bed, we would hit the call button and someone might be there almost immediately or it might take 10 minutes. No matter how nice the NH was, they still had many other residents and were often caught up with someone else, delivering water, bathing someone, etc. Thogh each one has back up it still not like home having someone right there when the urge hits. Mom also stopped even trying to get up at night or early morning because it was such an ordeal or someone would say, you have on a depends, I will change you....All these things could be coming into play and with someone who may have communication problems I'm sure it's magnified. It was also a great challenge to keep mom's meds on her usual schedule whereas she takes meds 4-5 times a day. The schedule wasnt the same at the NH and I had to follow a chain of command just to have their schedue altered. All this made life different for her, affected her toiletry habits and meds effectiveness. Hope some of this helps...
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My mother is 103, not demented, but somewhat senile. The Depends have been a godsend for us. Is the incontinence with his bladder also? Seems that all of the answers are for fecal incontinence, but the urinary can be pretty daunting as well. Depends are awesome & we buy them by the case at Sam's club.
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I have to keep an eye on my aunt. We have a split floor plan and she is on the other side of the house. She has her own bedroom furniture from where she lived before and her own living room with the furniture that came from where she lived before. I did my best to keep everything as normal as possible for her transition here from Portland, OR. The day after I arrived here in Florida with her, she couldn't find her pants. I told her they were in the wash. When I turned my back, she slapped me as hard as she could on the back. I turned to her and said, "You just slapped me on my back!", as if she cared or even knew what had just happened. Those were in the early days, dealing with her rude and superior attitude. After a year of my insisting that she no longer needed be in control, and explaining time and again nicely that, "I am now your driver, chef and assistant.", she has finally let go of her sense of always being in control. After all, she is a retired teacher. How in the world does a highly educated teacher teach up until she is 81 years old and then, BOOM BAM, she tells me on the phone, "Oh, we're related? I just thought you called me all the time because we were good friends." That is the moment when I knew it was time to go get her and move her in with my husband and me.

Funny, she used to be the type of woman you had to take with a grain of salt. I am the only family member out of many that ever had anything to do with her. Now, she's in my care because I couldn't stand the thought of the white coats coming to her home in OR and taking her away with no one ever to come and see her. So, you see, people, I did think about that. I do have compassion. I have always, though, been of the thought, that when it comes the time that she does not know who I am, I will have to place her in a facility. YES, I WILL GO SEE HER. I will never allow taking care of her to consume me, though, as it seems to have a lot of people. We cargegivers deserve to live our lives with quality also. There has to be a line drawn somewhere. I'm 58 years old, just quit smoking 6 months ago and would like to live out my life with some happiness, too. I am disturbed at how some people think that all of our day should be devoted to giving our elder everything they demand. They deserve all that they require to live out a good day with nutritious food, clean sheets, clean clothes, a TV, books, crossword puzzles, and some conversation here and there. Thank goodness my aunt does not expect me to sit with her all day. She's still pretty much with it. I know someday that will change....
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My 87 year old Mother lives with me and was incontinent so it wasn't neglect on taking her to the bathroom its very common for elderly to become incontinent. She seemed relieved once she started wearing depends, elderly people are fragile this takes one less stress from their day
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I agree dignity is everything when this happens and diapers are the only solution here! Gosh this must be so awful to be blind and deaf and not be able to communicate i suppose im lucky mum isnt like this so sad your poor dad but diapers are much more dignified!
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Nursing home may be giving him a drug that makes him less alert.
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Is he oppossed to adult diapers or is it you? As awful as it seems to those of us you thankfully don't need them, it might just be the answer you're looking for. Makes it easier on the patient as well as the attendants who care for him. It will become part of his routine, they clean him up and he goes back to whatever it was he was doing. It doesn't end up becoming the center of his existence.
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You mention he cannot use the call bell. There are a wide variety of adaptive call bells available that he may be able to use.
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Nursing Care of Seniors
Health care and wellness is a common concern in today’s world and it is applicable to adults, children and even the senior citizens alike; the maximum health security and protection would probably be needed by the senior citizens in their post’ working age. Some of the nursing facilities provide special attention and do take the extra effort to cater towards the senior section, work towards their health and fitness and also help in diagnosing their condition and situations individually.
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Dignity is of the utmost importance to the elderly and it's what we should keep number one in our daily practices. I don't believe "toileting" this poor man all day long would contribute to his well being much. I'm thinking Depends are what he needs. My aunt is definitely not on any pooping schedule. She gets up in the morning with poop in her pants. She might do it again that afternoon and then again later on that evening. You never know and really, there's no way to know when they have to go. I don't think it's right to put a person on a toilet and have them sit there until they go. I think there is more of a dignity factor when they go on their own in their diaper and get changed. In a matter of minutes they are clean and happy again with more time to enjoy life instead of being made to try to poop the clean way to appease the caregivers.
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talk to the social worker/nursing head about this being a new development.....they might not be aware this is happening.....there usually are volunteers going thru the home at the same time.......talk to a few and make freinds with them.........they are usually more willing to help, as their schedules arent as demanding......
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The nursing home should be toileting him every 2 hours if not more.It might be the progression of the disease but also the staff not getting to him on time and/or communicating with him.They must have someone on staff or in the community that can help with communication devices.You don't want any "bed sores" from incontinence.Good luck.
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Can the NH get him on a schedule? Most people poop at a certain time of day on a regular basis; they can arrange to toilet him at that time. If he has dementia, in addition to his other major disabilities, it may simply be the progression of the disease.
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