Hi, My FIL has dementia and lives with us. His confusion was getting so bad with his drinking we decided to put a lock on the fridge and slowly ween him off the alcohol. We have him down to half a bottle of wine a day and soon will switch to non alcoholic wine (he's so confused now he doesn't know the difference). I sent an email to his doctor just to touch base. He recommended calling addiction medicine once he is completely off the wine. I don't know if he is not quite remembering my FIL or if this was a generic response but I don't see how rehab for alcohol would help someone in his current state, I don't even think he could participate in therapy at this point. 99% of the time he refuses to see a doctor, in my view there's really not a lot I can do except bargaining with him but many times that doesn't work. So I don't know how he would expect me to get him there. The last time I tried calling chemical dependency (before his dementia) they said HE must call if he wants help, well that never happened. Today, he wouldn't even know who he was talking to let alone have a meaningful conversation. Has anyone ever heard of this or his doctor off the mark and not grasping the situation? I did email him again to clarify, waiting on a response...
Many AL communities serve non-alcohol beer and wine to residents who are a fall risk or who have a health condition which makes alcohol dangerous. Some residents know what they're drinking, others don't (their POA or family member does). The key is to be respectful – don't joke about it with other family members nor mock them by teasing about the deception – like "you're flagged, dad, you're getting tipsy." Serve it and shut up about it.
Check with his primary on med/s that may help him with withdrawl. I dont think it is a good idea to switch out his wine with a non alcoholic one abruptly. He could get horrible withdrawl symptoms. Talking to his doc about how to do it slowly may help. If hes been an alcoholic for years/decades. The doc might put him on something to ease his withdrawl symptoms, while you ease him off of it, overbto a non alc wine. You also dont want him threatening to walk/drive to go get more. It could get ugly both mentally and physically really fast.
Good luck.
At this point I don’t believe addiction rehab would do any good. He would have to be aware of where he is, why he’s there and what was expected of him. Doesn’t sound like that would be possible. At this point, Dad is who he is. Rehab won’t change that, it won’t cure his dementia. That is, if rehab would even accept him.
If part of your question is that you are becoming frustrated and stressed, perhaps it is time to explore an alternative living situation.
drink non-alcoholic anything. Respectfully, Stop asking the Dr. to make decisions
for issues that are obvious. Save the frustration for all involved and simply keep him warm, safe, fed... and loved.
Otherwise, when a doctor gets an email from a patient or a patient's authorised relative, the automatic response will be to think "what does this person want me to do?" and if it isn't clear what, then he will reach for the nearest idea. Tiresome, and leaves you rather dissatisfied with his comprehension skills and attention to detail, but avoidable.