Regrets. How does one get past something like this?

This is a part of what everyone in our nation is now experiencing. We are in the third year of a pandemic that isn't going away yet. I am so sorry. It has had such severe repercussions for you. I think there is no question that it would be unwise for your Dad to go on this trip, or risky. He will have to make his own decisions. While Omicron is often not a problem for healthy individuals it is quite capable of killing someone who is older and has underlying problems. I think the decision not to go for your Dad is a wise one. Others will have to make their own decisions. It is very very sad. It is worthy of regrets. But all said and done there is little to be done about it but accept the realities of the situation.
It must be a very sad disappointment to all. I wish you the best.

Are you saying that dad and sis went?

So, sis and dad went and you stayed home? Or you and dad stayed?

In all honesty, unless you are a partier, cruises are pretty overhyped. DH and I took one a few years ago and we got off the ship after 6 days and swore we'd never step on another cruise ship ever.

Regrets leave us--you can't live the rest of your life regretting following drs smart opinion that a cruise ship is a pretty bad way to be traveling these days. We went during Norovirus and while we felt they did a good job keeping things 'clean'---we actually regretted GOING. Too many people, too tight of quarters--we felt like we were in a floating toilet.

I can't imagine that a cruise with a terminally ill woman and a sick old man could be much fun for anyone. Think on that for a while. Your regrets will fade over time.

We could all write a chapter of the book “Things I would have done Differently” But we make the best decisions we can at the time. Your family chose a trip that I hope, given the medical conditions, will be healing and fun for them. And you did the best for you

Mid, I have to disagree. It really depends on the cruise line.

Dh and I recently returned from a cruise on an NCL ship; we visited a lot of interesting historical sites, animal sanctuaries and landmarks. And because we are extremely lucky in out timing, there was no outbreak amongst our crew or guests.

There were actually a lot of older folks than us (we are 68) and some of them were pretty frail (wheelchairs, walkers, being helped by adult children).

As we get older, we find cruising to be a gentler way of travelling and seeing the world.

You get past it by reminding yourself - as often as you need to - that you made the best decision you could with the information you had at hand. You didn't make any decision out of spite or malice of forethought; you weighed your options and chose the best one.

Hindsight is always 20/20. And playing the "what if?" game is nothing but an exercise in futility. If every choice we had to make in life was between "good" and "bad" life would be much simpler. Heartbreakingly, however, very often the choices lie between bad, worse and worst.

I offer you my sympathies. With a terminally ill sister and a chronically, seriously ill father, I think you have enough sorrow in your life without adding to it unnecessarily, by second guessing decisions that you can't do anything about at this point anyway.

You made a decision based on what the CDC advised you to do and now you're having regrets for not going on the cruise with dad & the rest of the family? I think that's what you're saying. If so, you 'get past it' by not second guessing yourself. Had you gone, you probably wouldn't have enjoyed yourself due to fear, so you put yourself in a no-win situation either way.

When your sister gets back, vow to spend time with her no matter WHAT the 'experts' tell you to do. That's the important thing here, and if you do spend quality time with her, you won't be left with regrets, cruise or no cruise.

Good luck

What2do, your sister is terminal and your dad has serious health issues. They have decided to go on a cruise and enjoy their limited time that they have left. If I were you, I'd be happy for them and wish them a fabulous time.

My father did not go after his doctor advised him to not travel. We had booked together so therefore my father and I stayed home.

I'm not sure where you are in life (age-wise) but I am recently retired and decided to move back to my hometown to be with my Mom who will be 91 next month.

You sound like a very caring person in that you began with the worry you have for your father and you are expressing the "worry" as a reason for staying back. I want to thank you for putting your family first in a world where often people put themselves first. You are a blessing to your family. We will get through this virus and have a new normal, it's just that we have had it so easy compared to other generations and we are not use to making these sacrifices. You did the right thing. Hopefully you will get a chance to make that trip someday and it will seem all the sweeter.

Is it possible to visit her or vice versa? She can fly to dad? How about daily zoom meetings? Have lunch or dinner in your home, sit down in each of your homes and share a meal together and chat.
Or set some eve time together. Isn't that the point of the trip to spend time together?
Go visit her without the cruise. Just family. Take some small day trips.
Isnt it about quality time? Not what you do? Your dad doesn't sound like he could even get around a cruise, let alone go on one. Can sister come visit you if she is up for it?

You should not regret your decision. It has been made and it is best not to look back. Also it was made with advice of a medical professional for your Dad. I understand why your sister made her decision to travel if she is terminal. There are other ways to engage with your sister than on the cruise as others have stated. All the best.

Create wonderful memories in setting that you are comfortable with.

You made the best decision possible for your father's safety.. It would have been reckless to put him in a travel environment while COVID is so active. If your sister is relating exciting stories about her own trip, be happy for her that she is enjoying this adventure. Plan a different trip for you and your father when it is safer to do so.

Just read your response that you and dad stayed behind because his doctor said he shouldn't travel. I don't understand what your regret is? With covid it is unsafe to be out and about especially if you have other health issues like dad has. Are you saying you wish you would have left dad at home and taken the trip with your sister? I get that....maybe you can plan something with the three of you when she returns. A road trip to the beach or a well known scenic drive. It doesn't have to be a cruise. If you are wanting a visit and a memory with the three of you, there are other things you can do. Don't waste energy and emotion on the cruise you didn't take. Be creative and come up with something that doesn't involve a plane and boat. Rent an RV and take a road trip!

I truly think you need to stop beating yourself up. You’re protecting your dad. Forget the CDC- they are unreliable political hacks- but common sense does say that your dads health is vulnerable and you’re doing the right thing by keeping him out of close quarters with others. Make a point of going to see your sister when she returns and have a nice visit.

Hand your guilt over to God........ and move through this anxiety you are having.
We are human we always second guess ourselves.
We also make mistakes, learn to forgive yourself that you are not perfect and you are doing the right thing at the right time for all involved.
We are all ultimately responsible for ourselves and our own actions, being said, be kind to yourself.
We are all in God's hands and care.
He determines when it is our time to leave this earth, so no one is leaving until He is ready for them too.
They are making memories on the cruise, they know their time is limited, i am sure we all might do the same thing to bring some joy to our lives while we can and do experience something grand and exciting.
Just look forward to the memories that can be shared when they get back from the trip.
It is ok to breathe...............You did the right thing for you and that is what matters.

You made the right decision.

I'm sorry your sister still decided to go but then maybe she is looking at this as the last chance she'll have cruise and didn't want to pass up the opportunity. I hope the cruise goes better for her than the many reports I am hearing of folks spending their cruise confined to their rooms because contact tracing put them in the same place as someone that tested positive after boarding.

My father is 91, wants to cruise one more time. If my husband passes before Dad (very possible), and if cruising becomes safe again, I am considering doing that "last" cruise with him. But right now, I would not want Dad on a cruise ship.

Covid is a serious health issue, especially for the old, sick and disabled.It’s a shame that 840,000 Americans have died of what a political party declared was a hoax and that people are still dying because the lies are killing them.

Common sense and kindness need to prevail during these difficult times. If you value your life and that of your family and friends always err on the side of caution.

Let them go and plan on making your own memories with them when they come back. If you go and things go bad...those visual memories will haunt you for a very long time..so while they are away..plan your own quality exersion with them when they get back. Everyone has tried to warn them and if they want to go ahead then it's out of your hands. You can't control everyone all the time :(

Honestly you made the best safest decision you could make. If your sister is terminal I can understand her going but it's best for your Dad that you and he stayed home. It's unreasonable to expect you to go on a cruise in the middle of a pandemic. And if you had stayed would your Dad have been okay at home alone?

Its over and done now. I wouldn't of missed it for the world. I wouldn't cover my smile for anyone, i wouldn't miss out on love or living life for anything. People are acting blind to facts with Corona. Corona is 1 micro and mask can only stop 8 micro and above. Norwegian had a fully vaxxed cruise that got Corona, people get sick its not a death sentence. You can eat in a restaurant without a mask but must not enter unless you have one. I guess Corona knows to jump on your face after your meal. I never remember everyone crying over the flu, you get sick for a week and your back to normal. Why is the CDC changing the Corona test?? Because the first one couldn't detect Corona. Which mean they DON’T freaking know who actually had it. Its all ridiculous. Live your life and have fun, now go do something great with your family.

My friend took her Dad on a mini vacation, he got Covid, and after a few months of fighting for his life, died 2 days ago. How do you think she feels? You did the right thing, despite it being an incredibly hard thing to do. I applaud you.

Not sure where sp19690 is getting their information, but it's not correct, so please refrain from putting that out there when you clearly don't know what you are talking about. For those of us who work in the thick of covid and its trail of destruction to even suggest that people don't get vaccinated is a crime.

Perhaps it's not a bad idea after all. They might die soon, or may be not.
What's wrong if they want to enjoy a cruise? The alternative will be to to have a boring long wait until they die. If it were my case, I wouldn't cancel the cruise even if I die in the attempt. I rather die happy than bored.

I think there's a whole lot of politics over-hyping Covid response.

Personally, I take the vaccine, and aside from being more careful where I put my hands in public, I live my life normally. I don't wear the mask unless forced to, and I don't restrict my activities. To me, that's reasonable.

But, I think we have to let people make their own personal decisions about risk, including your father and sister. My mother is 78. My mask-NAZI brother has been living his life in a bubble for the last couple of years, and he bosses our mother around and treats her like a child, which drives her insane. I treat her as an intelligent adult with agency who makes her own life and risk decisions.

Alcohol is a solution. Ok, it’s a JOKE, people, don’t hate! Besides, literally, alcohol is NOT a SOLUTION.
I hope your sister has a wonderful time! No regrets needed; you did what was right for yourself and your dad. Just keep in touch with your sister, support her choice. Tell her to take lots of pictures.

Please trust your decision. If your sister is okay with the decision,all is okay. In her difficult situation, I bet she will meet some wonderful people to spend time with on the cruise and have good stories to tell. What if...you HAD gone with your sister(Dad staying home) and brought the virus home to your dad?
Think about a Plan B, using the $$ saved from the cancelled plans. I bet your sister and you can come up with a way to spend time while she is able. If you make a list of possibilities and she makes a list, there will be something you all can do after her cruise...some good suggestions in the other responses to get you thinking. A Plan B will go a long way towards getting past regret. Be kind to yourself....
Expectation is the death of serenity.

No need to fill guilty. Your sister had nothing to loose to go on the cruise. Your dad was not in any shape per the doctor to go.

There are still many people cruising. But it must be a personal choice. And once you make a choice, be kind to yourself and not continue to worry about it.

For those who do choose to go, know that a cruise ship is one of the safest, cleanest places to be. Their cleaning protocols are top-notch. And the ships are maybe half capacity if even that much. You're more likely to contract covid in your daily lives when out and about.

I understand your sister wanting to go. It would be what I would do as well in her situation. And hopefully she has a balcony room, so if not up to it, she can stay part of the time in her cabin enjoying the sea breeze. And if she contacts guest services or the special needs department, she could probably get the room service fees waived, should she want to eat in her room, even some of the time.

And please encourage her to buy travel insurance for the medical portion of it. Although at least Royal Caribbean is taking very good of any who do test positive, whether symptomatic or not. They provided a hotel for the person after the cruise for the quarantine period. And of course, the majority do not get covid.

But your choosing not to go is a valid choice... just be comfortable with it and don't beat yourself up over it. Be kind to yourself!