Follow
Share

I'm a little embarrased to ask this question but I feel this is the place to ask safely and possibly get some help. My partners mother who lives with us now, occasionally has problems going to the bathroom and moans and groans on the toilet for hours which in itself is very nerve-wracking as it is, I have read up about it and suggested a laxative occasionally when this happens. She eats very well and has a very healthy diet but recently has not wanted to walk which I think has a lot to do with it. Anyway, what i am troubled about it the fact that the other day my partner told me he had helped her, and when I asked what he meant he said he had stuck his finger up her rectum!!! II'm afraid I was repulsed by that as I don't think it is very normal thing for someone to do or healthy in many ways or to be, honest to allow someone except maybe a doctor to intervene like that. It wasn't a one-time thing and for the past few days she cries out when she tries to go and so he has done it a few times.I have told him that I don't think it is correct and could possibly cause her the pain she now has whenever she goes to the bathroom.Please help me with this as it has me very worried with such unnatural behaviour. Surely perhaps a laxative or a suppository would be more appropriate. As I say, I am repulsed by it and the fact that he does that.So basically, even though it repulses me is this right and normal or what would your opinions be.My partner says it is normal, but I certainly wouldn't want or allow my son to have to do that to me. Now everytime she goes to the bathroom she calls out to him. Please correct me if I am wrong in thinking like this. Really need some guidance on this urgently. Thanks

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
It is best for your partner's Mom to make an appointment with her primary doctor. There are so many different things that could be causing this issue, and many different things to help relieve the situation.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Can his Mom try to use Enema(Fleet) that you can get from any of drug store or water enama, when I was taking care of my client who had MS so he couldn't use his muscle .... woked each time with water bottle enema, my client was Doctor himself...
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Bidetsprayerman, Forcefully shooting water up the rectum or any other orifice can cause SERIOUS Injury, leading to embolism or clot to the lungs, heart or brain! So Dangerous! Suggesting such advice could lead you to a lawsuit, and you could lose your business and everything you've worked for your entire life! Read up on it, if this is advice you are recommending to your customers! Search Fat embolism, embolism, blood clot!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I have no idea whether this is an accepted treatment but there are other options to consider first.

Is she drinking enough fluids? That's often a problem with older folks - they don't drink enough water or fluids. Warm fluids help - hot cider is not only fragrant and comforting but it can be stimulative. So can other juices.

Make sure she eats a mix of fruits and veggies with her meals, especially those with meats. Walnuts are healthy and can also be stimulative. Cantaloupe, watermelon, pears and grapes are generally fairly fast acting, but could be combined with more solid foods.

There are also stool softeners that could help, especially if her fluid consumption is low.

I'd try natural remedies first, and try to get her to see her primary care doctor, internist, or possibly a gastroenterologist specialist.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If she went to the ER and was "impacted", they do just what he did, only the hospital charges a heck of a lot of money. Go get some stool softeners.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

In actual fact with regard to the very frail and the very elderly our doctor doesn't recommend anything at all except daily laxatives. He certainly does not approve of digital manipulation (although I have manually disimpacted Mum on two occasions because she was in so much pain). He also doesn't approve of any assisted enema type spray that can ''shoot a quick blast of water up inside like a mini-power enema to get things loose and moving.''

Anything of that nature should be left to doctors to advise on not some sales pitch from someone who has self interest at the heart of the comments
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Manual disimpaction and digital stimulation are two different things and if you are having to do either in the absence of a true neurogenic bowel (spina bifida, spinal cord injury) situation, something is wrong. Consider using Enemeez (a liquid suppository for adults) and Miralax, if just increasing fiber and fluids does not work.

Bidets are fine, for hygiene. There are medical procedures such as a continent enema catheter or even continent cecostomy, but you do not spray anything forcefully into the body.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

How did I miss this the first time around? Digital stimulation is definitely the LAST thing you turn to in your arsenal, only after you have tried modified higher fiber diets, increased fluids, various laxatives, stool softeners, suppositories and enemas. It can irritate hemorrhoids, is uncomfortable for the patient and no fun for the caregiver. BTW, I struggle to get my mom to go once a week, she is on stool softeners daily and stimulant laxatives (MoM) as needed, I know constipation!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

It's one thing to keep promoting bidet sprayers, which are indeed great for some people, but to promote the idea that you should spray water up the rectum to stimulate a bowel movement is irresponsible quackery (in my humble opinion).
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I had no option vstefans mums anal sphincter was for want of a better phrase jammed open and would not close and she was in agony yet the professionals wouldn't come out (its the weekend you know ....and?) and she couldn't sit down at all without increasing the pain so while I know it is wrong for me to do it I actually HAD to - they didn't consider it serious enough for an emergency visit to the hospital and I couldn't sit her down in my car to get her there - what else could I have done - that sounds aggressive - its not meant to be - its meant to be an explanation of why I did what I did. Mum has diverticulosis so it can come on incredibly quickly
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter