I'm a little embarrased to ask this question but I feel this is the place to ask safely and possibly get some help. My partners mother who lives with us now, occasionally has problems going to the bathroom and moans and groans on the toilet for hours which in itself is very nerve-wracking as it is, I have read up about it and suggested a laxative occasionally when this happens. She eats very well and has a very healthy diet but recently has not wanted to walk which I think has a lot to do with it. Anyway, what i am troubled about it the fact that the other day my partner told me he had helped her, and when I asked what he meant he said he had stuck his finger up her rectum!!! II'm afraid I was repulsed by that as I don't think it is very normal thing for someone to do or healthy in many ways or to be, honest to allow someone except maybe a doctor to intervene like that. It wasn't a one-time thing and for the past few days she cries out when she tries to go and so he has done it a few times.I have told him that I don't think it is correct and could possibly cause her the pain she now has whenever she goes to the bathroom.Please help me with this as it has me very worried with such unnatural behaviour. Surely perhaps a laxative or a suppository would be more appropriate. As I say, I am repulsed by it and the fact that he does that.So basically, even though it repulses me is this right and normal or what would your opinions be.My partner says it is normal, but I certainly wouldn't want or allow my son to have to do that to me. Now everytime she goes to the bathroom she calls out to him. Please correct me if I am wrong in thinking like this. Really need some guidance on this urgently. Thanks
Is she drinking enough fluids? That's often a problem with older folks - they don't drink enough water or fluids. Warm fluids help - hot cider is not only fragrant and comforting but it can be stimulative. So can other juices.
Make sure she eats a mix of fruits and veggies with her meals, especially those with meats. Walnuts are healthy and can also be stimulative. Cantaloupe, watermelon, pears and grapes are generally fairly fast acting, but could be combined with more solid foods.
There are also stool softeners that could help, especially if her fluid consumption is low.
I'd try natural remedies first, and try to get her to see her primary care doctor, internist, or possibly a gastroenterologist specialist.
Anything of that nature should be left to doctors to advise on not some sales pitch from someone who has self interest at the heart of the comments
Bidets are fine, for hygiene. There are medical procedures such as a continent enema catheter or even continent cecostomy, but you do not spray anything forcefully into the body.
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