Recommendations for panties for incontinence?

I can't help you with the panties. But I tell you the best thing for chafing. Corn Starch and baby powder. Some stores now carry a baby powder w/corn starch. I mix my own. I mix half of each in an empty baby powder container this way she or you can shake it on any area you want it. You may have to do this 3x a day at first until the chafing heals.

I hope someone can help you.

There are washable adult diapers. Since they are made out of cotton, they may be more comfortable with less chaffing. They aren't cheap though. About $25 a pair.

As for preventing sores. Have you tried desitin, yes the baby diaper rash stuff. It's just not for babies. Nursing homes buy it in bulk. You can also try petroleum jelly which is basically what desitin is. Petroleum jelly is an excellent skin protectant.

I'm late to the thread but I'll add my comments anyway.

I found that we were most apt to have problems with the more highly absorbent overnight pull ups because the strong elastic around the legs is especially designed to prevent overflow, returning to a daytime product with a booster/liner was less irritating. I also went through a phase where I just cut the elastics off, but that was a p.i.t.a. The tab style briefs for overnight were also less irritating and are usually the most absorbent option.

Have you looked at Depend Silhouette? Not sure that has the chafing elastic band around the leg opening. The other underwear that we love is Willow, which also doesn't have elastic around the leg opening. Only thing to look out for is the L/XL size isn't as big as some other brands. (They did say that they're bringing out an XXL size soon.)

Sams club brand does not have that plastic around the legs. They have all the latest technology and I found them better than any other brand and they are about 40 cents a panty.

Worth the membership for those.

Are you sure you have her wearing the correct size? My aunt wears Depends Fit/Flex max absorbency from Costco. She wears a large and uses a poise pad maximum absorb in each. She is not quiet 5’ and weighs 150 lbs at most. The M are too small in the waist and did chafe her on the waist. She wears a size xxl in pants and blouses. She’s always been curvy but has a tummy these days.
She has also worn the Sams brand and she likes those as well.
I paid $,37 each today. They were on sale. Box of 84. $42.99 with $9 off. The current sale is over on 10/28. They are available online and in the Warehouse. Costco does have a generous return policy.
Did you try the XL for your mom? They might work for her.
My mom was hard to fit. She did not like Depends.
You can sometimes find sample packs in drug stores or grocery stores to try different size and fit without having to buy a large pack.

Many thanks to all FOUR of you for your helpful answers! I appreciate them.....and YOU!

Mom wears adult briefs/diaper at night. 1'reason is comfort & absorbs better and they dont break down like the pull ups.

We have been using TENA and have had no problems with them.