cjunebug50 Asked January 2011
I really need to get away from caregiving, how do I do this?
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Mom has degenerative memory loss, diagnosed 2 years ago. For the past year she has been living with my husband and myself. She needs constant care due to memory, balance and other issues. I am getting absolutely NO help from brother who lives 5 miles away. He claims he's too busy, no money, etc. You name it, he has come up with the excuse. We really need sometime for a get-away and are trying to find respite care in our area, Ravenna, Oh. Mom is NOT reseptive to this, says she can get an apartment. I am so stressed. All I do is cry after she goes to bed. HELP!!!
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You are in a very stressful situation, and one that many caregivers find themselves in, unfortunately. Carol has written an article about siblings who won't help. I'm including the link here: agingcare.com/140800
Maybe you can ask your brother to do a specific task since he refuses to help in your home. That might take some of the burden off of your shoulders.
However, as far as respite care goes. . . don't feel guilty about wanting and needing a break.
I am including a link that I hope you can find useful:
https://www.agingcare.com/Find-Senior-Care
Enter your location and click on Adult Day Care. You can also try Home Care. I know you say your mom is not receptive, but you can give it a shot. As you are already aware, she needs to be in a safe environment.
I hope this is of some help to you.
Thank you for being a caregiver.
Dani
AgingCare.com Editor