Rapid cognitive decline in 87 year old mom, any thoughts?

There's really no way to tell if the loss of the dog impacted your mom. It could have, but it also could be coincidence. If it just happened to occur around the same time, this is likely her new "normal", which will change again most likely as the condition progresses.

If possible, try to find a stuffed or robotic dog who is similar to your Sam (sorry about the loss... I've lost several kitties in the last 3 years, one who almost made it to age 22, who was with me for over 21.5 years!)

If that doesn't work and you are up to caring for another dog, perhaps try fostering first - if it gets to be too much work or causes mom more grief, then you can return the dog to the shelter. If you could find one that is similar to Sam, maybe she can be convinced it is Sam.

It is difficult, because caring for someone with dementia takes a lot out of you, plus she also is an amputee. Caring for a pet is also time/care consuming, so you don't want to overburden yourself!

You may be reaching that time when you need to hire some help and/or consider a facility. If you can find a person to socialize with her, it can give you a well needed break, allow you to tend to tasks, get out to get supplies or just go do something for yourself! Your comment "Mom does better when she has someone sitting and visiting with her." implies having someone who can just sit with her, perhaps also being able to provide drinks, snacks and some help in addition, would be very helpful to you. Obviously you have other things to take care of, and can't sit with her all day every day, so having someone there to keep her company might be all that's needed, for now.

As for going "home", it's best not to try to convince her she is home or that she can't go home. They get stuck on things like this and we just have to go along as best we can. 9 months after moving to MC, mom forgot her condo of 25 years and was focused on her mother and previous residence. During those 9 months, she hounded YB to take her back to that condo. Abruptly she asked me to drop her off at her mother's place on my way home (quick thinking, brushed it off until "tomorrow", which was "okay".) Right after accepting tomorrow, she asked if I had a key to the previous home. Basically she had a "step back" in time/memory to about 40 years ago. She remained in that "time" for several years after that. Different things she said confirmed the time frame and the grandkids born after that time were forgotten. My kids were on the cusp of that, so she was vaguely aware that I had kids, but YB's kids were almost 20 years younger and she had no clue who they were (despite having lived close by AND doted on them!)

Hi, when my dog of 14 died, Mum deteriorated rapidly. We had been living with her for over 3 years and her decline was rapid. This was 2 years ago and now at 86 she is a nasty piece of work. I got another pup 4 months later but it seems to have made her worse. I often wonder about the timing of the death and whether it is just a coincidence and would have happened anyway. She was never as aggressive before my darling dog died so maybe there is a link.

My mother also has declined rapidly since COVID. She lives about five minutes from me and I am with them every day. I just feel that each day her cognitive state worsens. Tonight I called her and she said there was all water coming from under her kitchen sink. I rushed over there and clearly there was an incident. I am sure she put a stopper in the sink and left the water running. When I got there the water wasn’t running but there was some water mess. My heart broke for her. It’s just so hard.

Susan58: For an individual with no mental impairment, the loss of a pet is EXTREMELY difficult. For an individual with dementia, that sorrow is magnified. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog, Sam.

The loss of a beloved pet is, to me, one of the worst and most horrific things that can happen. I have had numerous pets going back years and today, many years later, I still suffer terrible trauma, heartbreak and a horrible sense of loss. I have photos of them in a huge collage on my wall so I can see them daily and that brings me a sense of peace. There really is not much you can do except - if she lives with you - consider getting another pet (but you would have to care for it). She will love the new pet and this may not be so pronounced. Please consider that. And she is very old and with that comes dementia and there is nothing you can do to fix it.

I don't doubt the loss has some what affected her, with that said, my mother has a swift change within her dementia and it was almost as if she had did a 360 overnight!! She turned into a completely different individual, she became very aggressive towards me very abusive basically so much so I had to take her into the hospital. Upon doing so, they informed me she had a uti and that because of her age, she more prone to them. As soon as she was released we had a few other behavioral problems but after she had the UTI go away she basically was her old self again somewhat as best as she could get or as close as she could be. I now know how to see the signs just within her behavior and actions within what may be her issue. She is a certain way with a med change and another if there is something else. Both can be distinguished between her dementia and something else but I would have her tested for something like a UTI or an infection!!! I never knew what the effect could possibly be an order aging person but an older aging person with dementia that has something like that oh my goodness it's night and day to definitely get her checked out

Very definite connection. The death of one of our dogs greatly accelerated my husband's dementia.

indeed, my husband does not know who I am, after 65 years of marriage, but says "Hello, puppy" when we visit. Just to allay your oh-ohs, it does not bother me at all. 'Tis what it is. And he's content.

Hi My mother is 86 and after this Covid year has had a rapid decline. If your mother loves dogs I would consider getting another one if not too much got you. My mother loves to socialize and when she does she’s herself, but when alone the decline is rapid.

Very possible. My 97 yr old Dad loves it when my nephew and his dog that use to live with my Dad cones for a visit. My Dad can forget who people are but remembers the dog Pamelo.

You should get another dog. There are so many needing a good home and love and it will benefit you and your mom

I can empathize with you. My mom was at the beginning stages of Alzheimer's when she moved in with us, and when our dog subsequently died just a month or so later, (after a good long life). I even wrote a book about my husband and I taking care of my mom called, "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale." (I thought of the title when I was driving home from work one day, and I realized that this slightly broad "broad's" once broad life was reduced to the pressing health concerns of my mom and dog. As a point of explanation, the first dog passed away from old age and cancer, the dog we got a while later is the one who had tapeworms.) My mom's disease continued to progress. When we got the second dog, we hoped that this would ease her symptoms, but, it didn't. The disease has a mind of its own, as it slowly but surely changes the patient's mind. I agree with other posters regarding joining her reality, since she can't really join yours. My mom had delusions, which I learned, over time, that I just had to go along with. If she thought a neighbor invited her over for tea, and if I knew that wasn't true, I just had to go with the flow. When I'd try to force the truth on her, it just got her aggravated, which got me aggravated in return. Best of luck.

In my experience dementia is 2 steps down one step back up. Whenever major events happen to mom she seems to go down but then bounce back, but with slight decline. Hopefully you mom comes back a bit.

It could be a combination of things, the loss of the beloved dog, progression of her dementia, maybe another underlying disease or infection, maybe depression, maybe she is just tired of living.

Have her dr give her a rather good evaluation. She may need

As she falls deeper into the rabbit hole, you will need to learn to accommodate her "reality" which has no relation to "our" reality. You will need to learn to visit her reality. Don't argue, reason or explain to her why she can't go home - come up with vague answers and direct her attention elsewhere if you can.. Give answers that calm and sooth her agitations. My dad was convinced that he owed people money and wouldn't stop talking about it until I told him that I had paid these fictitious debts.

In the meantime, while looking into long-term options, hire aides to come in and assist with mom, be a companion and visit with her.

Best wishes to you and your mom.

So sorry you lost your beloved Sam Sending lots of sympathy and good wishes.

She may be in mourning or suffering from depression, very common in seniors. An evaluation by her usual doctor and maybe follow up with a visit to a geriatric psychiatrist.

How long ago did she get diagnosed? Has she had a bunch of tests to see if she has any physical reasons for her decline? I'm going through that with my mom. Had B12 tested, thyroid, kidney function. Working with doc to decrease meds and get off ones that are know to cause confusion, etc.

If she is getting aggressive, might talk to doc about something to calm her down a bit.

Was she evaluated for depression? Maybe due to the loss of your beloved doggie she could be depressed from that and could benefit from something to help with that.

You must have your hands full with a double amputee! Make are you are taking care of yourself too. Get some helpers, etc. Your health and well being are important too!

My mother has becoming increasingly aggressive bc I won’t take her home. She is home. Can anyone suggest what I do if this continues and She and I can’t take anymore? I know if that happens she will have to go to a long term facility but that takes time. Are there any short term solutions to pursue in the meantime? Thanks

Dementia symptoms manifest themselves in unpredictable ways, none of which are encouraging. Although the progression of dementia symptoms are shown as “stages”, a traumatic experience, such as the loss of your beloved dog that your mom was so attached to, can accelerate the decline and cause a person to advance from 4 to 6, for example. This would not be a temporary change, there's no going back.

People can experience personality changes because of dementia. They may no longer have the emotional self control that they had when they were healthy. Her aggression may be telling you that she can't process what's happening to her. Even though she's with you, she may feel insecure or frightened. Her behavior is not a reflection of your relationship, try not to take it personally. Do not react in kind to her anger, step away. A response could be, “I'm sorry you're so angry mom, is there something I can do?”. Are there things that might soothe her behavior? A chocolate chip cookie or an ice cream cone often worked for my wife. Could you purchase her a stuffed dog? Some are even animated. Realize your mom has changed. Her anger may eventually wear off, but another challenge for you will replace it. The book Surviving Alzheimer's may help. It offers practical tips for caregivers.

Before connecting her rapid cognitive change with the death of your much-loved dog, please have her checked for a UTI. Also she could just be entering into another phase of her dementia. Could it be due to the change in her routine with your pet? I suppose, but there's no clinical way to know if this is the cause. Even if it is, there may be nothing that can be done about it. Have you tried giving your mom tasks? Like folding kitchen towels, sorting and matching colorful socks, etc. This keeps her busy, burns mental and physical energy so she could sleep better at night, and gives her a sense of purpose. If she has memory loss, she can do this every day, more than once a day.