I've been taking care of my mother for 1 1/2 yrs since my dad passed. There have been a few months here and there when I haven't. I moved in with her because she asked me to. When she would get mad because I wouldn't kiss her @$$ she would kick me out and have my worthless sister and her husband move in. Then she would get mad at them and have me back. Once she got mad at both of us and moved in for a month with my oldest sister who hadn't even talked to my mother in yrs.
So this past February she called my from my oldest sisters house and said she wanted to come back home and would I move in and help her. I said ok but things need to change. she agreed.
In the last few months she has been doing some really strange things. I knew her mind was going so I called her doctor. We went in and he diagnosed her with dementia.
I have her DPOA and her health care POA. So I took over on everything. I had too because she started giving things away. She asked me to take her to the bank to get $1000.00 out. I asked her why she needed that kind of money. She said she just wanted it. I said no so she grabbed her purse and went walking down the road. I went out and asked her what she was doing and she told me she was going to get someone to take her to the bank. She cancelled her next doctors appointment when they called to confirm. So I took the phone so she couldn't do that again. I told her she would get it back after the doctors visit. I also fixed the front porch so that she would have a hard time getting around a bench if she tried to sneak out again. I caught her at 2am trying to get out.
So we go to see her doctor she tells him she scared of me, that I stole all of her money, that I went out and bought a brand new car and my husband a brand new truck. she told him I was holding her hostage for a month (I blocked the porch for 2 days). She told him so many lies I was stunned. I would try to defend myself and he got up and with a raised voice said we were both acting like 2 year olds and that he was going to call Adult Social Services. I said really? I'm doing my best to take care of her because she asked me to and gave me the rights to take care of her business. That was HER decision she made at her attorney's office where she had the papers drawn up and signed.
So then he has me go in another room to talk to me. I told him all the crazy things she's been doing, messing up her medications etc. He said he wanted to see us back in 2 weeks and if things weren't better he would call Adult Social Services. My mother told me that he asked her if I had ever hurt her, she tells me she said no. She said he asked her if she was afraid I would, she tells me she said no. She tells me she told him she wants me to be with her and take care of her.
So, the very next day guess who shows up. Adult Social Services. They come in and ask her some questions about if she was afraid of me etc. Then she talks to me and I explained why I had done the things I did even though I feel I shouldn't have to explain myself. This was this past Friday. Today is Tuesday. I gave her back the phones like I told her I would. I told her not to answer calls from anyone she doesn't know...so the phone rings and she answers it. It was for me. I get off of the phone and told her that I had told her not to answer to anyone who calls. She said well it just kept ringing. I said let it ring. She says "hear we go again".
So now I have to walk on eggshells?? Because she going to continue telling everyone I'm a monster? I forgot that part. She has told anyone she can how horrible I am but to my face says she loves me and wants me here.
I said what are you going to do? tell your doctor again so you can end up in a nursing home. She said she doesn't care that it's better than putting up with this.
Who protects the caretaker? What can Adult Social Services do to me? I've been so stressed its insane. I'm crying constantly. I take darn good care of her yet they will believe the rants of a woman with dementia?
I have no one to talk to about any of this. I'm scared. I want to take care of my mother but I don't want to end up in jail because of her. What can I do?