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Hello, I am a 55 yr. old woman whose husband is an alcoholic. My husband and I have been married for 37 yrs. He has been in and out of rehab throughout the years. This is the norm for him. He recently went back to rehab, leaving me carrying all the expenses. Since this so called “disease” is incurable and relapses are part of the process, how do I protect my assets from his irresponsible behavior when he drinks? When he is in his disease, he is notorious for driving intoxicated. Even though he is getting help, again, I have concerns about my future with someone who is unstable. I’ve been through this too many times in the past. Now, it frightens me more than anything. The older I get, the more scared I am becoming about this relationship and my security. God forbids he hurts or kills someone due to uncontrolled drinking. Anyway, I prefer to get feedback before I consult a lawyer. What has been your experience in this area? I appreciate any feedback that relates to this topic. I really will appreciate that very much. Thanks a million!!

Happy New Year!!!

Godsbeautiful

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In my case, I finally had to admit that it was best to get a divorce. I was married to an alcoholic husband for 12 years. It was very difficult to get to the point that life would be better without him..

I prayed that he'd quit for years. He "quit" several times and was in rehab once. I went to Alanon meetings to learn how to be ok with it. I finaly realized I was miserable and that he was not going to miraculously change into a whole new human being --- even if he did stop drinking one day.

It's tough in the beginning to be on your own. However, I look back on that decision I made 20 years ago and I have no regrets whatsoever. I became a happier person and have accomplished things on my own that I never would have had I stayed married.
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I would also divorce. My brother was a serious alcoholic. Your description of your husband fit my brother to a T. A divorce will dissolve your financial link to your husband and protect your assets. This does not mean you have to abandon your husband if you love him, only that your personal assets won't be seized if he were to have an accident.
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I have a sister-in-law who went thru this with her ex-husband, but honestly the whole alcohol thing eludes me. I myself have a hard time believing it's a 'disease', seems like more of a character issue to me. I guess I've listened to Dr Laura too much to believe that. :) Does your husband know about your concerns? When he's in his right mind, are you able to talk to him about these things, or maybe that ship has sailed already I don't know. Here in Oregon, they are really strict with drinking and driving, but still there will be some man or woman that keeps hitting people or even killing someone, and they don't take their license away permanently. The habitual drunk drivers that still drive, those are the scary ones. Anyway I'm sorry for you and your family to have to deal with this for so long. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. ♥
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