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I have a new problem with this facility my dad is in. I always tend to make friends with fellow patients at homes where my parents have lived since I visit often & stay a few hours. Some of the patients I become chatty with & really look forward to seeing. I actually had made a girlfriend at one of them that was only a couple years older than myself. In this case though there is a female patient that is quite rude & bossy. Usually her husband & grown son are visiting when she starts in with me & it can become unsettling. The first few times there in the dining room she would approach dad's & my table & invited us to hear her son play in the lobby after dinner. He plays the piano. Nothing special but a nice break, he sings too & plays holiday tunes. So we attended but she has a bad habit of constantly talking over him as he plays to the other guests around. She overdoes it. Anyway, ever since in the dining room she goes out of her way to approach our table & starts with nice words like Hi how are you & I will answer her nicely & then she says something completely uncalled for & loud & upsets both dad & myself. The staff does nothing because her son & husband (visiting) are back at her table & they don't feel comf. intervening in front of her family. It upsets & embarasses both dad & I and my dad has dementia. He upsets easily. It isn't the easiest time for me either. Worst yet you never know when she is going to blow. Next second after being mean she comes up & physically is all over you in the hallway. I think the worst part is she appears perfectly lucid otherwise. I would like to visit dad & be able to assist him in the main dining room. W/o me he is in the assisted one but the big one is lovely & well appointed. I would really like to do this but don't want to keep setting us up for this embarassment & upset. Any suggestions?

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Talk to the staff, family present or not their need to keep her away from you. Shame on her family. Hopefully the staff can be gentle in their approach and just redirect her. Your dad pays a lot of money to be there, this is his home and he should have peace.
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I agree. Talk to the staff. It is wonderful that you are generally friendly to the other residents.

It sounds like this woman has dementia. If the staff doesn't catch her quick enough, could you gently redirect her? "I see that you have visitors. My dad and I need to have a private conversation, so perhaps you could go back to your table now."
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Try talking to the staff. I am sure they will have a solution. Make sure your dad is comfortable
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