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My 86 year old mother has Dementia and was wheelchair bound due to her legs contracting. 2months ago started screaming continually. She is on Hospice due to the fact that I was taking care of her at home after she had to leave assisted living and could use the assistance that Hospice provide. She is in mid to last stage of Alziemers. One night she started screaming and would not stop. I called the hospice nurse who arranged for her to be carried to one of their facilities. They got her there and said that she was dying and in pain. I told them that I did not think she has a bladder infection because she always screams after she urinate and has said that her stomach hurt. They started her on morphine right away and told me she had less than 7 days to live. She is now hooked on morphine and is worse that she was before.

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She's 86, screaming in pain, end stage alz. Does it really matter that she'll get hooked on morphine? Let hospice ease her pain. Im very sorry you are going through this.
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You need to disscuss her case with the hospice case manager. The obvious question is, is this woman ready for hospice, at the end of her life, or was this brought on by the obstruction, pain and screaming. I would also have some question about the length of time it took to clear the obstruction. That sounds horrible and should be addressed.
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God Bless. Let. Her. Go. it's inevitable. I am so moved by this that I am going to write a letter to MY daughter telling her in detail that I want NO extraordinary measures when the time comes, just 'comfort care'. I am not a fighter, nor do I have anything to fight FOR. When my time comes, I will be ready to do without blood thinners, operations, special medications. Put me under and let me pass!
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If the family is clearly overwhelmed by care and nearly hysterical themselves, it is better for both the patient and the caregiver to move to a facility. If the caregiver had given the morphine as prescribed, the poor woman would not have been screaming in pain. Withholding the roxanol usually results in a full blown meltdown as you have experienced.
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my mom was given a presciption for morphine when she was in the end stage of Alz. She had severe spinal stenosis, arthritis throughout her entire body and had been bedridden for 3 months at the time. It was for 1 to 4ml every 4-6 hours for severe pain. When we gave her 1 - 2 mls for pain and the bottle was empty the hospice nurse questioned why we were giving her the medicine. We said 'because she's in pain'....they thought we were giving her too much, and complained...despite the doctors orders...I have to say I ignored the nurse....my mom was obviously in pain and at 92 I didn't care if she became addicted...I only wanted the pain to end so my mom could be comfortable before she died.
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Give her the morphine, at least a half dose, so she is comfortable. If you go to the hospital, Hospice will stop immediately, so you will not get help at home. Muscle contractions and no appetite are end signs. The contractions are definitely painful and need morphine. PLEASE
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Virginia, try to put yourself in her position. If you were in advanced dementia with all these health problems would you want to carry on? There is no quality of life for her at this point. I know it is hard. I'm very sorry for you. But remember, this is about your mom, not about your feelings.
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Virginia, your mom is not going to get better. No miracles are going to occur. She is suffering and it is time to let go. Think about what is best for her, gather your strength and don't prolong this. She needs comfort care and pain relief now. Please help her. All my best to you......
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Virginia, I too, had my Mom on Hospice, in a hospice facility and in the end, it's their bodies just shutting down. The very best that you can do is to make sure that she is free from the pain of her leg contractures, by allowing the most allowable.Morphine the Dr's feel is nessasary, even if it makes her sleep most of the time, and to just keep her mouth moist, using those little spongette swabs that they will provide you with. Her hearing will be the last to go, so every so often, chat with her, telling her how much you Love her, and assure her that you will be alright, and that it's OK to go (to pass), she needs to hear these words come from you to relieve her of the worry, that you will be OK. I know how difficult this is for you right now, but try to remember all of the wonderful things about her life, and your life together. Thank her for being such a wonderful Mom, and for loving you as she so clearly did, and speak to her of all of the great things you did together. This will help you too, knowing that she gave you all that a mother should give to her family, and recall all of the many things that you had together. If your Dad has passed away, then remind her that he, or other loved ones who have passed before, will all be "there", waiting for her.
Putting your Mom through more tests, procedures and hoping for a cure is not going to happen, and the kindest thing that you can do for her now is to make her passing as stress free and pain free as possible. You too, need to get rest whenever you can, and if you can fit in a Dr's appointment for yourself, to explain to your Dr just what you are going through, he may be able to give you a Rx for anxiety, to help you with your emotional pain. It is very sad to have to let your Mom go, but I've been there too, and you will get through this! If you have a pastor whom you can speak to, I'd recommend that, if not, I'm sure that the Hospice facility does, and they can be a great sounding board, and help you with your grieving. Remember that the Hospice folks are there to make this end stage of her life as pain-free and gentle as possible, so do rely on these folks to to their jobs well. My heart goes out to you Sweetie, I'll pray that your Mother's passing is gentle.
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Virginia, you are ever so welcome! I know how difficult this is for you right now, and as Babalou suggested, go right now to the nurses station, and ask them nicely to please have the Chaplain and a Social worker in to speak to you! It sounds like you may not be getting enough rest, so do try to, whenever you can, even if it is only naps in the chair there in your Mom's room. If they don't have a recliner or comfortable chair in her room for you, pleas request on to be delivered. Surely they have one nearby. Make sure you are eating and drinking enough too! Speaking from my own personal experiences, this dying process can take a few days, and with my Mom, once she became unconscious and "snowed under" from the Morphine, which she needed to keep her comfortable, it was about 6 full days before she passed. It's a very difficult journey, especially if you are mostly alone in all of this. Keep reminding yourself that your Mom has had a good long life, made happy by you being so much a part of it, and while it is so hard to let her go, Sweetie, it is time. There IS Nothing more that you could ever have done, that would have brought her back to her previous healthy self, and it would only prolong her pain, to attempt heroic measures, or even other medical intervention. It is so important for you to be getting some counseling right now, and you need to be proactive about getting it! Speak with the Nurses there, and tell them that you are struggling. They are there to help you too! I am thinking of you and praying for peace for you and your Mom (((((HUGS)))))
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