I've been my dad's main care manager (and frequent caregiver, though I live out of state) since his wife, my stepmother, passed away. I live in the country, his other children from an earlier marriage do not. They have been minimally involved in his life for decades-just occasional phone calls, and a visit every few years, if that. He and his late wife put me in charge of managing all of his affairs with financial and health POAs. To make a long story short, his other adult children don't like that I have this control over his affairs, even though they couldn't even manage it if they wanted to from another country. They have been trying to convince him for months to revoke my POA, even hiring a lawyer and bringing her in although he didn't go along with it. Life has become close to hell as a result of their efforts to convince my father (who was diagnosed with dementia and alzheimer's in January) to do this; one of them convinced him to sign a real estate contract to sell his house so that the money could be used to purchase a house in their country (I then had to cancel it), in their name (under the idea that one of them would care for him for the rest of his life, in the house purchased for them with his funds--leaving him with next to nothing in the bank). The story goes on and on, but the issue right now is that one of them plans to visit soon, and I do not know how to handle this. My dad forgets any of the shenanigans that they don't want to believe anyone in his family would be after him for his money. So he wants them to visit, but the problem is I am concerned they will do more crazy stuff--taking him to the bank when no one is around to get his $ and statements; calling in a lawyer to try to get him to revoke the POAs; shipping things from his house to their country, etc (these are all things they were trying to accomplish on their last visits). They see me as the only thing standing in their way, and they will pretty much stop at nothing.
Seeing as I don't live there, I'd love to hear suggestions on how to avoid drama and have them doing these things again. I can almost guarantee they have alternate motives for their "visit" and that it's not just about a nice week with dad. This is stressing me out and has been for months. It's been one of the absolute worst situations I have been through. Any advice?
I have two different medical reports where the docs said they recommend guardianship and that he needs help making any financial, health etc. decisions. I am the DPOA on both finance and health. He can be easily swayed by their manipulations - at one point they seemed to convince him that he didn't need ANY POA and that he should revoke mine, however he would literally be completely lost without my help. He does not know how to take care of any of his financial or practical affairs anymore.
This will take up the space they might be planning to invade.
2) Or, you could hire someone to be there.
3) All visiting reltives MUST stay in hotels nearby at their own expense.
Knowing this beforehand, they might just cancel the visit. It could be they just need a free place to crash to visit the area, and all the "extra" shenanigans just come with the criminals they are.
BTW, if you have any problems getting them to stay in a hotel, put Dad in a hotel, tent the house for termites during that week.
Tough Love.
You don't live with your dad. Could you, for the week of your half-sibs visit?