Can the POA for moms financial arrangements write a check to herself for monthly care?

Doug, I think your answer is very insensitive and your thoughts should have been worded better. Of course her mom didn't keep record of raising a child. Many children turn a blind eye and she is at least caring enough to be there. If her finances aren't enough you have to do what you need to do to help, even if all don't agree. Give credit where credit is due.

I was recently informed Medicaid doesn't allow patient care expenses by family anymore. It is considered "love & affection". Check with a Medicaid attorney or Medicaid ASAP, whether you have a contract or not, to be safe. This happened a few months ago, as I understand.

When you were in diapers, did she keep a tab on how much formula and wipes and diapers, and doctor visits and clothing and food and how much your portion of the utilities were when she was raising you? If she did, the average amount to raise a child is 170,000 dollars and that is without College fees...Why doesn't your husband move in with you at your Mother's residence, therefore getting rid of the rent payment that Mom has to pay for. It should be a joint venture if you want to help Mom out at this point in life...

Tonio, I had a caregivers contract made up by a lawyer and get paid for her care. Her money went to myself for care, for help to hire other caretakers so I could go out, for her diapers, meds, food, bedpads, clothing, etc. The money was gone in three years and now we pay for whatever ss doesnt cover. You can take rent, ss allows so much but a good contract explaines it all. In a nutsell, you should get paid $15 an hour for 8 hours a day and 10 hours on weekends. You must keep explicit records on every penny spent, and you must pay taxes which are about 30% so save that out, its over $6,000 at the end of a year. Failure to do all of these things makes you liable for the money. SIblings involved? Dont feel like a skunk! Giving loving one on one care if the best gift you can give someone,especially a parent. take care

Thanks to you all for your advice. I receive only 250.00 a week just to keep our apt. My mom is quite comfortable and is not on medicaid (yet)! I wish I were wealthy and didnt have to worry about money, but retirement is really tough enough without having a deficit. Sylvester, maybe you could find room for my husband and two Boston Terriers. I always look forward to your blogs; they are so delightful. Thanks for this latest one. By the way, when I was a baby there were no wipes.

To my other friends, I think we will just leave things as they are and not take any chances. Cant be too careful. Mom is having more strokes lately, so i dont have a lot of time to worry about it.

Does anyone know of something that i can use to lift mom from the floor to bed? Thanks again friends, and that goes for you Sylvester.

Tonio

Sometimes with dementia Hospice will determine if your mom is at the point where they can help with some of her home care to lighten your load. My mom has been receiving help from Hospice for almost 2 years and they have been wonderful. It is worth giving them a call to find out. God bless you for helping her.

Where I live you can call 911 to pick a person up from the floor-and here they don't count the times either police of fireman do and if the person is heavier ask for two people - used them over 50 times-you can get lifts but you usually need two to operate them.

to sylvestor, you are obviously NOT taking care of your Mother or Father.
I have a personal care contract with my Mother that We signed, had witnesses, and notarized.
I catherize her 2 times a day which a care agency charges up to $70 for. I pay myself $18 an hour and that includes that service as well as showering, meds, Dr.'s and walking her dog 2 times a day. I do not charge for personel time with her, nor for taking care of her bills although i probably could. I have siblings who do not participate in any of this so I don't feel guilty (most of the time). I made her will up to give equal shares to all of us. I doubt there will be anything left. Paying me is much cheaper than assisted living ( where they don't catherize) or a visiting nurse, and or, a nursing home. She is making a little progress since she can now have her dog in the independent section although she is in bed 18 hours a day. I went to my daughter's graduation and she had a setback. She is totally dependent on me and it scares me.
Just like she did her best raising me, I am doing my best.
Best of luck and know that you are not alone in this.

tonio999, you wrote earlier that " I do have poa and my name is on her checking acct." Was your name on her checking account as a joint owner with the right of survivorship before you got the durable POA? If so, then that is a different matter. You may want to check with a lawyer about this, but if you were already joint owner with the right of survivorship of that account, then you have more access to the money than someone with only a POA would have.

Thanks chimonger and cmag for your advice. i getting the idea now and trying to get organized. She has been going downhill pretty fast lately. Tomorrow will go see about the survivorship, etc at the bank. Hope you honor all our vets this weekend. God bless our military people and God please end this war soon. tonio