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My Mom has did mean things to my sister and I and she's doesn't trust anyone other than my other sister, who is POA. She is not around to see what all Mom does and it makes for a tense relationship with her because she just looks at us like this doesn't happen to her when we tell her what Mom has done. Mom just got out of the hospital for a major operation and in a few months my sister will be leaving for the winter and hasn't made a decision on what we can do with Mom. I've had medical problems(cancer-2 times) and I'm still facing another operation and my sister that helps with Mom works 40/50 hrs a week and her health is pretty much gone as well.
How do I get my sister to make a decision about Mom before she leaves for the winter? I help as much as I can but it's really hard. Thanks!

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Mom will never be able to stay by herself I don't believe. They told us at rehab that she will never be able to take control of her medicines herself because her memory wasn't there for that. We sort her medicine and put them in contains for several years now but they said she can not take medicine by herself anymore. I hate seeing Mom in a nursing home because Dad was in there with Alzheimer's for 2 1/2 years and it was hard but I know my limitation on dealing with cancer myself. I will never be able to lift nor help Mom if she falls, which she has in the past plus I can't even help her get out or in the bathtub. Thanks!
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You and your nonPOA sister can only control your own actions. Tell POA sis what you will/won't do. When she hears that you are willing/able to devote a total of 8 hours a week (or whatever) and working Sis can devote 5 hours a week to Mother, then she better make plans for in-home care or for a care center. You don't need to argue, fight, or defend. You've thought it over and you've come up with a decision that is realistic for you. Don't budge. This is what you can/will do -- no more.

Will Mom be fully recovered from the operation in a few months? Does she have additional needs?
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