My brother is POA and his girlfriend is caregiver to my mother, she has dementia. They won't let me see my mother. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

My brother is POA and his girlfriend is caregiver to my mother, she has dementia. They won't let me see my mother. What can I do?

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I love my Mother very & it's gonna kill me when she dies. I want to spend every minute I can with her. She has dementia & can't make her own decisions she has to always ask her caregiver. her caregiver dosen't like me so she always makes excuses why I can't come. Her caregiver is my brother's girlfriend & my mother loves her & trust her with anything shw says. My mother could die at any time. The Dr. gave her til May & it is now June! I need help ASAP! Is there a legal way I can get document signed my a judge that will allow me to see her every chance I get???

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Everybody paid off or bribed or promised a carrot on a stick. Most follow the money
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I have a 90 year old mother who has alz/dem. She made my older brother POA a few years ago. All the account that had my name on them are gone. I don't know where they are, but he does. I can't reach my mother, she lives 60 miles from me and is in her home which goes to my brother upon her death. My brother won't return my calls, letters. I don't know if mom is home, in SNL, etc. I'm afraid I won't see her again. I have an attorney for elder law, probate etc. They say they can't do anything since my brother is dodging my calls. Is there any agency that could help me. My mothers lawyer called mine wanting me to sign the last of her stocks over and I have refused unless I talk to her. That was 4 weeks ago. I had the local police do a welfare check, they told me she said, let her talk to my lawyer! She would never say or do this if she was in her right mind! Can anyone help me?
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I'm in the same boat and it hurts soooo bad. I am so sorry for you. I found out in a text message the next day from my brother that my Father had passed and now he is working on my mother. Lawyers tell me it's not worth all the fight and money it will take and the police say it's his property and if he doesn't want you there, there's nothing we can do. How do we protect our love ones. Don't they have a right to see their loved ones. It is the cruelest thing I have ever had to experience!!! I wish I knew how to help you cause I need help too. 713-907-1458
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Thai you for that it's sounds good
Might be a long way of that mum is ostile at mo might change
S/s called in yesterday she wouldn't except any help at all
But while out with her she said about not having strangers In the house
I know my brother as put this in her head
So she won't except there help .
??? Mabey they will see this who knows
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Lanie222, I totally understand what you mean, and thank you for responding to my inquiry! I've been in your same shoes, regarding my Mom being embarrassed to ask for help bathing when she broke her hip and was unable to shower. It took several times to get a system that worked with her modesty issues, and then her barriers began to come down, and soon she didn't mind undressing in front of me at all. My suggestion is to start off slow, make sure she is covered, have a nice big bucket of warm water and plenty of washcloths and towels. I would put several towels on the bed for her to lay on, and several around and over her, then, as you said, give her the soapy washcloth and look away while she gives herself a good washing, starting with her face, all the while making sure she's covered up, wring out the washcloth again, have her do her arms and chest rinse and wring out the washcloth and on downwards, while your "looking away", and repeat until the job is done, you might even be able to talk her into washing her back, and other area's hard for her to access. All the while chat with her about your childhood or other fun things. You do this frequently enough, and hopefully it will become second nature for her, and not so embarrassing. Another thing that worked for me, is bringing in some her favorite smelling body cream, and lotion her all over, including her feet after a good soak! Maybe even some baby powder for under her arms and breasts, and other sweaty areas! Once she begins to feel fresh and smelling good, she may begin to enjoy this special time with you! Our Mom's were brought up in an age of strict modesty, but we have to remind them that they did it for us, and now we need to do it for them.
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My mum is embarrassed I'm her daughter she does not want me to help her bath even tho I have said
Get undressed I pass you the towel
You go in give me the towel when you done I pass you the towel back
She still as capasaty to be embarrassed with her daughter
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I have been told by s/s yes she as short turn Memery lose
But as capasaty
Mum is always saying to me yes she wants me to sort her care out and make decisions for her
Surly for her health and welfare if she says yes then I should do it I'm concerned more about her then her money
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And why would s/s say it's ok for a women 83y with alzhimers to leave her door unlocked she is at the other side of A patio through a door
Bedroom with all her belongings in a bathroom then a long walkway through the door to where she is sat
That's ok then she could raped murder beaten up anything
Anyone can walk in ????????
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My brother is 20 mins away in a car from me he's 5 mins from mum so is his sons
Her phone bill shows there numbers on once in a while mine every day I have just found out that mums money now as gone into the bungalow
So she is no guest but part owner
Why would a sibling sell mums house not tell his sisters move her within 2 weeks only telling me two weeks before she moves ....,.. Yes it looks good like he cares

So why does he and his wife go mabey once in a while
And tell s/s they go 3 4 times a week when it's not true ?????
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Yes you have I try and try and try she always says she is not up to it I can not drag her in ????
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