I'm still married to my husband who has cancer. His ex wife (POA) stated he put in his will I was not to attend his funeral?

Have you actually seen the will? I would think that you have every right to attend. He should have changed POAs after marrying you, but too late for that.

However, it may not be too late for him to write up and sign a new POA and remove his ex from being it.

I would start by asking him what his wishes are.

Since POA ends upon death, she would not be able to use the power of the POA to exclude you from the funeral. I would think that the will would have to go through the courts to have any legal authority (won't have time before the funeral)

I would find out what his current wishes are now and if he is able to, see if he wants to change his POA or will.

Now, you may not have given us all of the information. For example, if you two are estranged and he is back with her, that would change a lot in my opinion. Then, I think you would accede to his/her wishes so as not to cause drama at the funeral.

How unusual, for a man with two young children by his second wife to appoint his ex-wife to act with POA for him.

You're sure her POA documentation is valid, are you? Is there any possibility of checking this with your husband?

Should it turn out, by the way, that she is relying on a will made prior to their divorce, and that what she actually means is that in that will she was appointed her husband's executor, which is a different thing altogether... well, anyway, you'd have to check this but as far as I know divorce automatically invalidates a will. And she would therefore be talking through her hat.

Look. It may well be, in the end, that her melodramas are not worth your attention. That it would be better for you and your children to avoid the funeral, and take your leave of your husband while he is still with you. Truly, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

But do this because it's the dignified choice. Not purely on the dodgy say-so of someone who really sounds as if she's trying to pull a fast one.

It is not in his will to exclude you from the funeral. I never heard of such a thing. Are there any other forms where it would be appropriate to document his wishes, like a last wishes document? That may be ex's wishes, but so what. Has your relationship always been stressed with her?

If I wanted to exclude someone form attending my funeral, the will is the last place I would document it. Most wills are private - so no one knows the contents - and are often not opened until some time after the funeral. If you put specific burial wishes there, there is a good chance they won't be seen until after the funeral anyway.

My husband's and my wills are sealed and on file at the courthouse. I am pretty sure that you would need a death certificate to have them opened. and the death certificate does not usually come for a couple of weeks (or, at least my Dad's didn't).

Indianawife, I'm so sorry for your and your children's loss.

I don't think you can place any reliance on what was said to you by a patient undergoing treatment or palliative measures for brain cancer.

How are you managing? Are you okay?

He has brain cancer, just started new treatment Dec 13, 2016 and we were living separate. His ex wife ended up moving in with him though. Jan 3, 2017 will made, Feb 13,2017 in hospital makes it back home on hospice but passes March. Me and him talked on Feb 15 he said will not done.