POA has denied me access to my mother's room at the nursing center. Can this be legal?

Momlover123, you are not focusing on the reality that is happening, you are just focusing on bringing your Mom home. I know this will sound harsh, but you are in serious denial regarding your Mom.

The more you write the more I understand how you are NOT ready for this task. You need to learn more about what is physically going on with your Mom, and you hadn't even began that task. Yes, this is your first rodeo, and there is so much to learn. It's not like bringing Mom home and having tea with her in the afternoon.

Rainmom thanks to sticking it out with me and thanks to you all. May God bless you all for your wisdom and insight .

Momlover, if you think that your mother is on pureed food for digestive issues, you've just exposed your profound lack of knowledge (and interest in understanding) of why that is her prescribed diet. And why no authority in her/his right mind will release her to you. You are an absolute danger to your mother's health, well-being and life. The fact that she "enjoys" table food doesn't mean it's safe for her to eat. Ice cream is generally fine for a patient on a soft diet, but you understand neither the reason for the diet nor the principle behind it. You reason like a 7 year old might.

Get over the guardianship issue. You do not have the capacity to do this.

As we've all stated, visit your mother and enjoy her company. Use therapeutic fibs ( you need to stay here until your leg is healed, until they give you therapy for your hand, etc) to calm her. Is she on meds for her agitation?

So you're at odds with the judge, the social worker, the guardian ad litem and your POA sister. All of them have reached the conclusion that your mother needs to be in the Nursing Home. Why do you suppose they've come to that conclusion? Do you imagine they're all completely uninterested in your mother's best interests, and are somehow doing this for the sheer merry h*ll of it?

You told the guardian that your mother had no family home, and that your sister's building - your mother's former home - had been condemned; and you thought this would persuade the guardian to support your plan to have her discharged from the Nursing Home?

I just don't know what to say.

Spend time with your mother. Drop everything else - the appeal, the futile arguments. They are a waste of your and everybody else's time, and you are making things worse for yourself and your mother.

As I said I've been visiting my Mom all year and now I have appealed to appellate court for partial guardianship I am being prohibited from even seeing my Mom after I saw her left hand contracted the day before.

All my Mom was put on purée and there's nothing wrong with my mother's digestive system, so I am afraid she is being fed purée before her time because she can eat table food. She loves strawberry sundae and soft cheese puffs but the SW brought them back and said she's on purée and stopped me from seeing my Mom even though she's been eating table food.

Jeangibbs I meant her left hand is contracted, not her right hand.

Jeangjbbs the GAL was in circuit court and at this time I have appealed to the appellate where the 2nd division judges will make the decision for my partial guardianship or enforce my Mom's legal right to sign POA to me and go with me in a family home and not share one room with 2 other patients. Moreover, I still don't know how her leg got broken, why her right hand is contracted when her strok was on the right side ten years ago or more, what medicines she's taking , her weight, benefits, etc. The NH won't tell me anything.

Jeangibbs the judge just goes by the GAL and POA whil my petition for guardianship was denied, so no one has full guardianship and my mother is competent to make her own personal decisions that don't require policy, bureaucracy, and law IMO in my opinion.

All my mother is COMPETENT and only partial guardianship is suggested for medical/financial but the NH and Hospitals are giving my sister guardianship rights not just POA because somehow "personal" is on the POA but only full guardianship gives a "personal" power and Mom would have no rights to speak on her behalf and this is why I petitioned partial guardianship because the NH will not allow my Mi to sign POA over to me. This is illegal, my Mom's leg is broken, her left hand is contracted but her stroke was on the right side and she's begging to come home with me and I am begging her to be patient and wait for the judges decision .

Is the GAL still appointed to your mother in this case?

Sorry... 9/26/15 should be 9/16/15...serious typo Countrymouse. Sorry again.

Countrymouse I petitioned only partial guardianship as suggested by my mother's doctor at NH . After the judge ordered the POA not to be disturbed my sister POA told the Judge I was trying to get POA and the Judge said there was nothing she could do about it, but the NH SW won't allow a notary in her room to sign and told them contrary to the doctor's diagnosis that my Mom was unable to sign. The GAL guardian ad litem verbally released my mother in my care 9/14/15 but my sister told her she had POA 9/26/15 and the GAL called me and said she would side with my sister in court the next day even though I told her my mother had no family home and my sister's building had been condemned by the city.

The doctor says Mom only needs help with medical and financial decisions -- meaning what, she can choose what she wants to wear today? Competency is a LEGAL decision, usually based on medical advice. A doctor certainly can have an informed opinion about this subject, but it is the court that determines competency in the legal sense.

So, Momlover, can you answer the very straightforward question, what does the judge say about mother's competency? The JUDGE, not her doctor.

I can't even believe I'm doing this - taking one more swing at the poor dead horse. Even though there will be no "ah ha, I understand now" moment - here goes: momlover, the ability to make sound finanical and medical decisions are the two primary factors a judge considers when ruling on competency. Ask an attorney if you doubt me.

And the court's interpretation of that was..?

The issue of your mother's competence will have been the first point dealt with in court when you were disputing power of attorney; simply because while a person is deemed legally competent she can override any POA if she chooses. So what did the judge say about it?

Caregivers thank you for your time and advice . Countrymouse the doctor's report states that my Mom only needs help with medical and financial decisions and that she is competent otherwise with confusion and forgetfulness or mild dementia .

want2bdadspoa, please copy and paste your post into a brand new post, so more people will see it.

Want 2bdadspoa I am having much the same problem as the POA and NH won't let my competent mother sign over POA to me, so everyone will tell you you need a lawyer for probate court. Try to find a lawyer as soon as possible. My sister POA has stopped me from visiting my mother in her room and today the NH would not let me see her at all by nurse saying she sleep and SW saying she wasn't feeling well. If you feel you will take better care of your father who needs meds to communicate you need to act quickly. What meds does he need to communicate? My Mom probably needs the same but I can't get the POA out of her hands as my mother is held against her will at the NH and her leg had been broken and her left had was contracted yesterday and now they won't even let me see her. Act quickly 😇 May God keep you day by day .

Your father has to revoke hers and sign it over to you if he wishes to do so.

want2bdadspoa, it would be better if your start your question as a brand new "question", not as an attachment to another question.

i just found out my father was moved immediatly after i saw him a after he got out of icu. to another place without his former girlfriend-poa-medical- letting me know. infact she did this to keep us apart. She was mean and a bimbo and confused-problem with lies cnt keep truth and lies strait so it make no sense . the problem is my dad has always had a temper and says things he doesnt mean. your grounded forever-or until 30 a couple of days later all is forgiven. he wouldnt want her ms BIMBO who admitted to me that she remembers place datethey met it was 25 years ago mom only left dad 22. years ago. not because of his cheating-with her. sorry for off topic but she refuses to assist me in getting any med. info. from prognoses, to help him communicate, can i get the med poa revoked proving i know what he really wants. is she responsible for barrial?

Again I agree with Babalou. I've been coming to this site for three months now, a couple times a day. I have found the advice here invaluable and completely credit the wonderful people here for saving my sanity and getting me, and therefore my life, back on track. If I need help and advice I ask for it - and either accept what is said or not. If not, which is rare, I figure it out on my own and move on. I have come to recognize that not everyone does the same. There are a few that continually beat the perverbal dead horse. If they don't hear what they want to hear they argue, ignore, repeat and rephrase hoping I think, to finally get validation. In a couple cases it is clear the poster themselves have bigger issues than that of which they write. I'm pretty sure there is no way for the well intentioned here to actually say anything to help these people - and we become the person holding the stick beating a dead horse. I do not in any way consider myself the gold standard on how to give or receive advice. I can only do what I can do - which is true of everyone. In this case I can't do much beyond the advice I gave so it's time for me to move on. Momlover - I wish you peace and resolution. But more than that I wish you clarity and acceptance in this situation. If you can find the first, the second will fall into place.

I think that we have to assume that Momlover suffers from some sort of condition that prevents her from seeing what we are telling her.

Momlover123, you are not listening to any of the advice given. We have all given you time and energy to help you see the forest for the trees, but you continue to think everyone else is wrong and that you are right.

There are too many of us experienced caregivers that can see what is happening here. And you need to stand back and let the professionals take care of your Mom. You sadly are doing a disservice to her with all the interfering.

Does the court that has already been involved in your mother's case agree that she is competent? This is a yes or no answer question.

Although actually, we can infer the answer. If your mother were deemed competent by the court, then her wishes would be consulted and would override any POA decisions. So. Where does that leave us?

Seriously, focus on keeping your mother company. Getting her to family events is less important than sitting by her and holding her hand. Railing against the unsatisfactory commitment of other family members is a complete waste of precious time. You are not going to be able to take her home with you. You are not going to be able to prevent her continuing decline, sadly. What you can do is improve her quality of life by being with her. The most important thing, the one thing you should be making sure of, is not to throw that possibility away by continuing to alienate others who have legal responsibilities for her welfare.

Jeangibbs God bless you for your advice but my Mom is competent and she has a right to come home with me...bottom line. This is what's legal and moral.

Countrymouse and others concerned ,my Mom❤️ told me to get a car over the summer. I guess because she wanted me to be able to drive her away from the NH but my sister used her POA to stop me from bringing her home even though she. couldn't keep her when she was standing with assistance because her home was condemned due to neglect and refusing to get a living wage job. Freqflyer my Mom is begging to come home. Please stop telling me to let it rest because my Mom is miserable and losing her quality of life day by day. You can't possibly put yourself in her shoes as she is losing the will tomlive everyday in that place. Please stop trying to make that understaffed and underpaid employee N H a "home" my mother. It is not a family home got my mother. Mom wants OUT but the questionable POA is keeping her there. Please help me and stop sentencing my mother to depression and unhappiness. I thank the Lord who died for our sins for your concern if you are Christian.

Countrymouse I need to clarify some misunderstandings you have though you give excellent advice: 1) My mother is left looking like an invalid and not a person with competency when I do not visit,so I am only trying to improve my Mom's quality to life and opportunity-yes she still has opportunity- to legally "age in place" in home and community in Hyde Park, Chicago that's wheel chair accessible and church members are already willing to help me a block away, along with family and friends. 2) Countrymouse you say I am manhandling my Mom and not complying to NH rules, however each time I took her out my POA sister and NH approved the visit but on 12/25/15 after the CNAs helped me with transport to and from the NH the nurse told me they would not help me Christmas Day because they were not responsible and my sister said they didn't want to because I didn't appreciate them (???) and my sister POA and her daughters whom my Mom, friend, and I were going to visit when not help to and from the NH to Ann's from Aurora to Chicago Christmad day and even my grown son would not help as they refuse improve her quality if life outside the NH that may just mean skipping a movie, video, social networking, etc. I try to teach them the value of life over material wants at this crucial time but they ignore me over material things and won't even schedule to visit my Mom unless I force my son and my nieces seem to have better things to do and other siblings are out of town, however my Mom's only living sibling in Kentucky from where my Mom migrated in the 40s wants my Mom to come home with me. 3) I do not have a history of disrupting this NH by far. I visited my Mom hour on end over the summer and I got along great until my sister POA started imposing her rights to POA on my visits and the nurses lying to me about my mother's care or refusing to tell me about my Mom's condition; such as pain medicines and dosage, weight, medical records, etc. I have been told that I can only see my mother from 12-5 pm by the SW with nothing in writing. Therefore, the NH has a history of disrupting family visits and disregarding patient's rights to see family. 4). I did not manhandle my Mom as the NH refused to help me with transport the day after, My friend and I did our best when my Mom's arthritis set in. 5). Who told you I jumped in the back of the ambulance. It's an outright lie. I knocked and was told yo sit up front after I said I was her daughter. Then the nurse that my sister POA said told her my Mom was unresponsive then told me to get out of the ambulance or she would call the police to get me out, so I followed the van in my 2015 Nissan Rogue my Mom❤️

Jeannegibbs thank you for spending time with me, but I truly feel my mother is in an NH before her time and has lost valuable PT, OT, and Speech therapy to enhance her quality of life due to POA not exercising my Mom's benefits. She has been diagnosed and she is benefitting from all three after returning directly from the hospital as required. However, I noticed that her left hand is balled up tightly in a fist, but she was able to unball her left had and hold my hand for s long time. Her right foot with the full length cast on her leg is healing because it didn't hurt to the touch today. She ate watermelon and strawberry sundae from me recently and she really enjoyed both. She went to two events Christmas Eve and Christmas that inmproved her quality of life away from the NH and she was able to sit up for a long period of time even though the NH says she has no trunk control and won't sit her on the toilet. I feel I deserve to at least try to give my Mom's quality of life back to the furthest extent possible. My Mom is depressed and very unhappy at the NH. She begs to come home and this has been going on for over a year.