Follow
Share

Sister has questionable POA that my mother said she didn't sign but nursing center won 't let her sign over POA to me and revoke it from my sister so I can get her in my family home with me and in home care from agency, family, and friends

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
1 2 3 4 5
Typo "POA" and "prohibited" not provided.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Only your mother can sign a new POA assigning you the responsibility. What you want to do would require you to get guardianship of your mother. Why is your sister denying you access to seeing your mother?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My sister refused to get transit services for my Mom with her POA because the CNAs at the center will only transport her to the end of the building, so I tried with a friend and she reinjured a fracture but one hospital said she didn't have a fracture and was severely constipated with arthritis 3 wks ago but my Mom was still in pain so she took her for a second opinion and now my Mom is in a full length leg cast and the N H and POA are making me out to me abusive. I am in Appellate ct for appeal for partial guardianship from circuit ct
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Momlover123, I just read your profile where you have given much more information. You mentioned your Mom is in a wheelchair due to a stroke from 10 years ago, which means it could be very difficult for you, family, and friends to lift her from the bed to the wheelchair to the bathroom, etc. You and everyone else will need to learn the correct way to lift, and how to bathe a wheelchair bound person, etc.

Please note that not all elders want to age at home because they know they need a higher level of care than their grown children can provide.... plus they don't want their children to quit outside employment thus not adding to their own retirement fund.

My Dad [94] recently went into Independent Living facility where he can age in place, and he's happy as a clam being there. He actually has more freedom to do what he wants, when he wants, and be around people of his own generation. He's made more new friends in the past 5 days then in the past 10 years living in his house :)

As for the Power of Attorney, was it drawn up by an Attorney and signed by your Mom in front of the Attorney? Was it witnessed by 2 other people [or what is requested by your Mom's State] who are not part of the Will in front of a Notary? It could be your Mom didn't remember signing it as she could be in age decline where her memory might not be as sharp as it once was.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

Momlover123, when you drop them, they break. When you don't tell anybody, that's abuse. No judge in his right mind will award you partial guardianship, because there is no such thing. The really bad news is that in the event the siblings cannot agree, the judge appoints an independent third party as Guardian. Will the judge let you take her home? If I were the judge I would ask "For what? So you can drop her again?"
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I didn't drop her!
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Pam is not a troll.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Momlover, then I must have misread your answer the same as Pam did, that when you and a friend tried to transport your Mom that Mom re-injured a fracture, and is now in the full leg cast.

The above just show how difficult it can be to care for someone who is wheelchair bound. It takes a lot of experience which a nursing home has as it isn't their first rodeo, but it is yours.

If you have the time, spend a couple of days full-time 24-hours, if possible, with your Mom at the nursing home to see what is all required. You might be surprised.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Armyretired my POA sister and the NH still have the Holy Cross Hospital braclet on my Mom from 12/26/15 but POA took her to put a cast on her 1/15/16 saying that I fractured her leg 12/26/15 when only one person I brought helped me (my sister refused to help me Friday, Christmas with transport and the Nurse Abby said the CNAs at the NH whereas three CNAs helped me the day before at the NH. Now the POA is saying I need to be supervised to see my mother but the POA is only the agent and my Mom the principal did not approve my POA sister from prohibiting me from her room. My sister is making up an abuse case against me because she is the Appellee and she has to respond to my guardianship appellant brief appeal from circuit court by January 26, 2016.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Abby said the CNAs would not help me Christmas Day and my POA sister said I didn't respect them enough.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sorry Babalou and Pam. I thought Pam was blaming me for my mother sliding down to the ground - there was no impact fall when I was with her in transport Christmas Eve and Christmas. Sorry again Pam . Please forgive me. Babalou has been advising me throughout this ordeal of my Mom losing her home. MaybGodvbless you both. I can sacrifice for my Mom as my child is an adult.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Freqflyer my Mom has the will to live when I visit her as she looks very depressed if I am not there by her bedside and in the activity room. My Mom is in PT, OT, and Speech therapy after leaving the hospital as required, The therapist said she is improving everyday and was 25% standing without assistance at the beginning of last year. Now she is regaining use of her body, but not walking yet. I lifted her before several times but her arthritis was flaring up Christmas Day and it was difficult to put her in the wheelchair. Your father is more independent than my mother and one on one home care providers will develop her socio emotional needs that an understaffed NH can't provide. My mother wants to go home with me but the Anaheim won't let her revoke my sister's POA and sign mine. My Mom begs me to come home with me but the Social Workers will not listen to her at the private NH center. Freqflyer I have worked 20 years and I can take down my retirement after all calculation are accurate . My Mom does not need to worry about my retirement if I decide to retire. The POA appears to be invalid and signed by a notary public and my mother about 3 years after she had a stroke and could not write her left hand .
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Freqflyer Mom is right handed on the side impaired by the stroke and she's not left handed. My Mom is 88 and she has no other medical conditions other than the stroke and osteoporosis
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Pamstegma I will have Homecare for my Mom and she gets SSA and SSI.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Freqflyer 12/26/15 I was told Mom was constipated with a arthritis condition after transported her with a friend but now 1/15/16 I was told I fractured her leg and Mom has a full length cast. My Mom is still begging to come home with me and I'm begging her to be patient because the judge has to decide.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Freqflyer it is not my first rodeo. My Mom stiffened up with arthritis while so was transporting her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have just read through your entire post from August. https://www.agingcare.com/questions/nursing-home-holding-my-mother-hostage-186496.htm?cpage=1
There are 125 posts in that thread. Many people dropped out at about post 60, when it became clear that you were not looking for advice, you merely wanted our blessing on what you wanted to do.

That post ended up that you were dropping pursuing this in court because you moved to a larger apartment and you sister agreed to let your mom go live with you.

Apparently that never happened? So from agreeing to let Mom live with you, Sister has now forbidden you to even see your mom -- what has happened to change things so dramatically between August and January?

From the August post it seemed alarmingly clear to many of us that you had no understanding of dementia. In this post you say that "she has no other medical conditions other than the stroke and osteoporosis." Goodness! If you don't even acknowledge that dementia IS a medical condition I cannot imagine how you would begin to cope.

The NH says your mother is a two-person transfer. You insist that you could do it alone. And yet you couldn't really do it with a friend helping.

You keep going on and on about the "forged" POA, when that issue has already been decided by a court of law. They accept it as valid. Your saying it over and over will not change anything.

I truly feel the strength of your love for your mother, and feel sorry for your pain. I sincerely hope that you can regain visitation rights.

Sometimes being at home is a good option for someone with dementia. My husband stayed at home for the 10 years he had dementia, and died in our bedroom. My mother lived with my sister for 14 months, but physical and mental decline made a nursing home a better choice for her. She is doing well and is very content there. It is a case-by-case decision.

In this case it sounds like your mother is where she needs to be. I hope you will redirect your efforts to being able to visit her where she is.
Helpful Answer (14)
Report

The circuit court order is in appellate court for appeal for my Mom to age in place with family.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Previous thread my mother is not happy at the nursing home and she is begging me to come home with me. I am her "angel."😇 I want to be with my Mom until the end. I don't want an understaffed NH to call me and say my Mom is gone and I know I could have given her better quality of life. Just give me your blessings to at least try. Please...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Momlover123, As a notary, I can accept a simple X if the signer has limited use of hands. I do need to verify ID and see that the person is cognizant of what they are signing, even if they forget later.
As an Ombudsman, I would be remiss if I advocated placing the patient with family that does not know how to safely transfer them. With hard proof of injury, your opponent has all she needs to prevail in court.
"Better quality of life"? No, you just have an OCD. Get counseling to accept what is instead of defying the rules to the point of injury.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Momlover123, I have no authority to "bless" anyone. But I send you my well wishes to remove the visitation restriction. I wish for you to spend time with your mother as she ages in place -- her place, which is now the nursing home. I suggest you work on that realistic goal, and stop wasting energy tilting at windmills.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Pamstega and Jeannegibbs thank you for your suggestions and expertise. My Mom was sore from arthritis before I moved her and severely constipated . This was diagnosed by Holy Cross and there were no fractures. Then 1/14/16 my sister said she went for a second opinion and my Mom was put in a full leg cast and her toe nail is off with the flesh exposed on her right foot little toe. She complained about her leg hurting yesterday but before her knee was just sensitive to the touch, movement, and pressure . Nurse L gave her pain relief drugs but she refused to tell me what she gave her after my Mom started screaming out in pain and said her stomach was hurting. I didn't leave until I was escorted to my Mom's room (POA has requested supervision for me to see my Mom now because I text about Mom's condition she said I am violating HIPPAA laws) be sure her pain had subsided and it had but she didn't seem as though she could tell me bye, but she did say bye after a while and she wasn't yelling out in pain any more. Pamstegma I am not defying rules to the point of injury. I tried to get POA and my Mom said yes but the NH won't allow her to sign herself out to me so I can provide proper transport for my Mom as the POA nor theNH will help with transport .
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Pamstega and Jeannegibbs Mom was diagnosed with only severe constipation and arthritis inflammation 12/27/16. I don't know what happened at the NH before, after, or during PT but my sister POA took her to another hospital for a second opinion she said and my Mom came back with a full length leg cast on her right leg 1/14/16 but I transported my Mom 12/24/15 and 12/25/15. Now that I am texting about it my sister POA has threatened not to let me see my mother at all. God's will will be done😇🌹❤️
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Pamstega and Jeannegibbs my Mom is still wearing the hospital bracelet from Holy Cross 12/26/15 as though the cast was put on by Holy Cross but HC nurse looked at X-rays and said there was no fracture 12/27/15 butNurse L who I have had several problems with said that my Mom's leg is broken 1/18/16. I am filing an Emergency Motion to get the POA stayed and out of my sister's hands as she is abusing her authority because my Mom has not approved my sister POA to stop me from seeing and visiting with her. Please help me because I feel I am being framed for breaking my nother's leg. To God be the glory.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ya know what? I don't really care how your mother's leg was broken. And what on earth is the point of repeatedly saying when her hospital bracelet went on? That has nothing to do with my advice to you.

My advice is to stop fussing over all these irrelevant issues. Let go of things you can't control. Focus on the most-likely attainable goal right now: being allowed to visit your mother where she is. See her everyday if you can get permission. That should be the first step.

Expecting to get POA or Partial Guardianship when right now you are not even allowed to see Mom is a huge, huge leap. And doing it yourself without a lawyer? Sorry, Dear, but that ain't gonna happen.

Forget the huge leap. Take the first small step.

I know how much the nursing home where my mom is and the assisted living facility where my daughter works LOVE for their residents to have visitors, especially family.

The NH staff keeps coming up to us to tell us how much they appreciate our interest in our mother. At least one of us attends every care conference. We attend activities where help might be needed. We bring treats for the staff. We are respectful, even when we need to bring some shortcoming to their attention. We contribute prizes for the bingo games. Mom is in the level of care she needs. We certainly have not abandoned her. We are perhaps more actively involved in her day-to-day life than we have been for years. And the staff welcomes us with open arms. For you to not be welcome says to me something has gone horribly wrong. I do not believe that you don't have some accountability for that attitude.

Your mother is where she needs to be. Your sister has cared for her for 30 years. She knows her very well. The fact that she wants Mother in a nursing home says a lot. How about you accept that, and work with your mother where she is? How about doing what you need to do to start over and build a good relationship with the people who take care of your mother day to day?
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Tell it like it is Jeanne...hopefully this woman will get the message finally.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

My mother stil has quality to life outside the NH and the right to age in place at home. Maybe you 'll finally get that message. Thanks for following my thread. Be blessed.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

That's what it's about...the attention you're getting.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Pamstega, Jeannegibbs, and Vagaslady I will let you know the outcome of the appellate appeal for partial guardianship recommended by my Mom's NH doctor.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

The expedite and emergency motions were denied. The appellee's (plaintiff, POA, sister) is due 1/26/16 and then I have 14 days to respond. You all have suggested that you want to be in an NH at 88 but my Mom is always asking to come home. Thank God she can still ask. I am seeing a patient that was eating well not long ago but now she's being feed intravenously. My Mom has been put on purée but she can eat table food. The nurses lied to me about my mother being transported in an ambulance to Holy Cross and the same nurse that stopped my mother's visit before told me she was going to call the police if I didn't get out of the ambulance. They are setting me up to be arrested just for wanting to see my Mom. I fear for my Mom at that NH but I can't do anything because every time so look for help I am told my sister is the POA. I need to find out how NHs work and how they and the POA can capitalize on my mother's death as my sister didn't want my Mom to have PT, she refused to arranged transport services, and stopped visiting her and left her looking like an invalid or s body and not s person or woman. My Mom needs a family home that I am willing and able to give to her but my sister insist on leaving her in a NH where staff is under paid and the NH is understaffed. Please note my sister wasn't just keeping my mother for 30 years - my mother was keeping my sister financially for 30 years as they were both the common denominator of "caregivers."
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter