I'm my parents DPOA - I function totally in that capacity for my mother who has early dementia..however, my father thinks that he can handle his own affairs - and to be honest, his mind is not as my mothers..however, I'm concerned about how he continually writes large checks to his granddaughter(who's unemployed) and its done in a way unbeknowing to me (so they think)
If I understood the responsibility of a Agent DPOA - he can do just that, write those checks, and does not need me to intervine , in many ways he knows what he is doing, and he feels its HIS money- trying to advise him when it comes to his money is out of the question. I just don't want to be challenged somewhere down the line that I didn't do my job as DPOA - but my performance as DPOA comes into play ONLY when they are incapacitated correct?
Thanks for all answers

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It depends on the type of durable power of attorney you have. There are "springing" Poa's that require a parent to be ruled incompetent by two physicians or a judge and can take a while in become usable. The POA you most likely have was active the moment it was signed. However, using it if your parents are still competent could be a problem. Sounds as if you need to have a talk with you father, like or not, about his spending habits and what he will need financially for the future. Gifts, and the checks are gifts, could be looked at if he were to need to apply for Medicaid.

Be very care when having this discussion with your father. He could also change his POA if provoked enough. Then you could open a whole new can of worms. Good luck to you.
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