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I am executor of my brother's estate, who for the last six years before his death, had assigned his eldest daughter POA over the family home and two rental properties and the management of payments to for all his assisted living and all other financial affairs. Before anyone knew she had squandered all his savings and the proceeds from the sale of two of his rental properties on her gambling addiction and now she has moved into the family residence which was left to two siblings in the will. The siblings are in desperate need of money and want to sell the family house which is now owned by them exclusively (left to them in the will) but the errant ex POA daughter will not move out and the courts are not performing evictions due to covid etc. The siblings cannot obtain access to prepare the house to sell and are having to borrow money to pay the property taxes etc.


The extended family has decided against filing charges of elder abuse as they don't want to see her go to jail even though everyone is highly incensesd.


The errant ex POA daughter has no apparent income or means of support and will likely become homeless as no one in the family will now take her in.


What suggestions or advice can I give to the siblings ?

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First, somewhere along the line, you all need to realize that this daughter is a thief. She would do it again and again. I would suggest, trying to get her into a recovery program, but that would take money.

This daughter has, for all practical purposes, dug her own hole. Start with talking to a good attorney to find out what you can and cannot do. Then realize, that you cannot change her. Doing what is necessary, for the rest of the family, is what has to be.

Like it or not you must start with an attorney and that will most likely mean filling a police report. Right now you are all enabling her behavior, by doing nothing.

I know this sounds really harsh, but nothing will be resolved by letting her continue on her path. Make a stand and then stick to it. Good luck and prayers for everyone.
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She needs to go to jail period , what a worthless peace of crap . Let her live on the street if you don’t prosecute her fir stealing from your father. He had no intention of supporting her gambling addiction nor should you . She made her bed now let her sleep in a box. I hate family taking advantage of their parents or any family member. I’m sorry you had to go through this but it’s time for some tough love now . wishing you the best
bleeding hearts will always say keep supporting theives that abuse what authority they have been given. It’s sinful 😢😭🙏
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my2cents Apr 2021
You might want to read all of these posts. There's probably more to the story. Not to mention, maybe the dad DID always support his daughter - bail her out of problems - we don't really know. The one thing that is clear here is poster is over the probate (meaning leftovers) and the house was left to two of dad's siblings. As administrator of the will, you dish out the property as indicated and then you are done. The new owners of the house will have to figure out how to get a squatter out of the house. Imagine I left you a $400K house in my will and there are $300K in liens against the house and I never did maintenance on the house. I probably gave you a headache, but it's up to you whether or not to take an aspirin and make what you can make off this 'prize' you won. .
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Im going through a similar situation and my lawyer instructed to me to file an unlawful detainer. It’s different than an eviction. You don’t necessarily need a lawyer, but it helps.
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Lawyer-up-- NOW-- and do not discuss your case with any other family members. Especially the addicted POA ! That would be very stupid and unproductive--- get good eldercare lawyer and go after every last cent. You only have a limited time to get all you can back. Especially any real estate she sold-- IT is all possible. BUT DO NOT discuss any of this with the enablers-- co-dependency is a disease-- that directly affect the enabled AND the enablers--- anyone who feels guilty about pursuing justice it a damn fool. GO GET IT, SISTER ! If she is soon homeless-- she is just where the Good Lord wants her to be so she can get some help--- but if she fraudulently sold anything that does not belong to her-- it needs to be returned and soon-- the buyers can pursue her, not the family.. now-- go get the POWER OF ATTORNEYSHIP and be the only smart one in your family and do not discuss anything with anyone. ESPECIALLY after you file papers in court to recover all that was lost-- you can get your property back-- and you should-- don't give up-- fight back !
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DugganB Apr 2021
BTW-- ignore what the corrupt cops say--- go to the lawyer and get your case listened to by a judge not a mindless cop.
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Imho, do not enable her gambling addiction any longer.
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If the house was given to other sibilings. Probate the will and then treat her like a squatter. Go to court to evict her. Get an order from the court.

On the other hand, if it was me, I would probate the will and establish ownership -- then take possession while she was gone. Break the locks, enter the house; Change the locks; pack up all her possessions; and put them in the garage for her to pick up at an established time; . Just besure there is no way back into the house from the garage. Give her notice that she is not be on the property (including the yard) and report her as a trespasser (By the way NOT LEGAL ADVICE)
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This thread is mortifying. The police already said no case. There is no proof of a gambling addiction, the police already said the accused had a right to funds. The executor, OP, had beneficiaries pay taxes, he/she/they should have paid...could be sued and prosecuted. The one person vinicated by police you all are throwing under a bus based upon discredited by the police allegations. That's messed up.
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sazure Apr 2021
You need legal advice NOT the police. (the police do not have a legal background). (I will call and talk to the police on occasion where I am living and they say xyz. But I used to work for lawyers and can look things up and they are just talking x! )
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The children has the right to go and retrieve any monies and property that goes to them and should go to probate. Try and talk to this aunt and see what her plans are and if she is unreasonable then proceed with your legal rights.
What happened is The POA took care of things while he was alive and now the children has the right to go after what is legally left in his estate.
The only thing they need to do is get a lawyer to see if he signed everything over to her before his death, once he see's a legal way out of this as a benefit for the kids can he be paid after the fact.
If the kids were there in the begining how did this happened?
If they are minors or in college they still have benefits or that age group. If he was a Veteran they still have benefits. If he had Insurance they still have benefits unless that was changed with his knowledge.
benefits.gov (Here you will find some benefits they can utilize)
So it's worth it for the kids who was there or not there to check out their benefits that they may have if he had a pension of some kind that will go to the next of kin even a exwife who can get his social security if they were married for sometime. If anyone is disabled. Check it out. Sale the property while she's in it, call the courts there and see what rights the kids have...Don't worry about the house Taxes at this time, see how far behind he is, in paying them if it up to date don't worry, because once you sale the home that will take care of that. Find the deed and have that available for the sale.
If the furniture is his, take pictures and put them on line for sale.
"I'm just saying"
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Get it over with.

Since everyone has already decided to write off the money that's gone, throw a little more money at it and pay her cash to move out. Get a lawyer to do the paperwork right and throw in an agreement not to pursue an accounting for the alleged missing funds, since it looks like you can't anyway.

Say goodbye, wish her well and limit future contact. Don't forget to have everyone check their own paperwork to make sure she isn't anyone's beneficiary or agent for anything.

If she's an addict she will want the cash.

Hopefully some social program will help her with housing.
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Frebrowser Apr 2021
Note: this assumes that there is equity in the home because there is no Medicaid lien.

Has the title already been transferred to the heirs or not?
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You need to report the crime immediately and let law enforcement deal with it. This 'file' charges or not is a mythical decision from watching too much television.
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She already took more than she deserved. Evict her and perhaps with all the assets she misappropriated she will continue afloat. The sooner she is out of the picture the better for the parties remaining. Time to clean house, get rid of unwanted nuisances. Good luck.
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my2cents Apr 2021
The person being accused of stealing is the daughter. We can't assume what she might have 'deserved' or what her dad's wishes were while he was still alive and money being spent. The poster for this question was sister who was supposed to handle the estate, or leftovers. Daughter's name is either mentioned in the will to receive something or it's not.
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Prosecute! Quit worrying about a thief’s welfare or where she will live. In our family, the thief had provided for herself very comfortably. If I had to do it over, I would prosecute to the fullest extent of the law (which in most states isn’t much).
Do not let this consume your life but by all means, protect the next victim. If nothing else, there will be a record of this persons actions.
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Don't see how there is any elder abuse. The elder has passed away, unless they were still around, not much you can do if she had POA. At this point all it sounds like anything that can be done about is the fact she is living in a home that does not belong to her.

Like others have said, you have to treat her basically like a squatter and force her removal. To prevent her from squandering all the parents stuff away, gambling, drugs, whatever doesn't matter, something had to have been done while they were still alive. Unless, there are documents, POA, etc. that she literally forged and lied on.
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cwinter Apr 2021
Misappropriation of her mother's money is elder abuse. You don't know what the mother was deprived of either. The POA should be prosecuted and held legally accountable.
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The fastest way,, If the house is legally ya's then you should schedule a Locksmith to change the locks at a time you know she will not be there and pack up her clothes and set them outside and do not let her in..

if she brakes in call the Police.

Or

Send a Certified letter to the daughter that she has 30 days to Move Out and if she hasn't, File an Eviction as she is not a Tenant and doesn't have a Lease..

I am a Landlord and if my Tenant's Lease is up, you can evict them as you don't have to renew a lease and you can tell them it's being renovated to be sold.

Also, you are not asking for Rent, you are only asking for Possession of the home.

In Missouri City Texas it only cost $126 and you can pick up the papers to fill out at the Court House in the area by the home.

The Judge will give you the Judgement.



also let her know that ya'll will Turn Her In for misuse of handling her fathers money if she isn't out of the house within 30 days.

If she has Insurance, she should check herself into a place for mental help.
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cwinter Apr 2021
Good response! 👍
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Tell them to hold their p's and q's.
I have been accused of things that my family thinks is true And have nothing to do with me. There are one cousin on each side of family still in touch with me. So I understand that things are not always what they seem. I take it that the PO kept no records or receipts therefore no proof that she stole the money but may hVve been doing the biding of parent whom had lost touch with the money. She is family forgive And love her. Don't trust. Her Gain I me. It is good to use common sense. She needs love Nx support for she lost a pArent just as you siblings . Common sense , love, support gods aong way.
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So sorry this happened to all of you but it happens all the time. Case in point: My problematic and homeless sister moved in to care for our mother and within a short time had convinced her to go to a shady attorney to give her POA and change the will so 'dear sister' alone would inherit all properties and money. At mother's death she sold the property and told me and other siblings Too Bad and See Ya and went skipping down the road laughing. It happens and laws are such that allow it.
Sooner or later these dark souls will be dealt with and that's where I stand on it. I can sleep at night knowing I did everything I could to get justice by the courts of the land and must now leave it to God.
So keep working legally on it and I hope this woman will be removed from the house and face the consequences whatever they may be or she may continue on and hurt others and herself.
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Since the two siblings have title to the residence they should be able to have access to it and the property right to sell it. I think you need to find a real estate lawyer and the siblings will need to make some hard choices regarding the eldest daughter, once all their legal options are laid out.
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I am in a situation of being POA for my elderly mother. My oldest brother moved in on she and my step dad after he conned her (she has dementia) into buying him a fifth wheel in which he hooked up to their utilities and has now run off my 84 year old step dad by manipulating my mother. (I live in another state) he has been draining her account by getting her to write him daily checks.

I have reported him for elder abuse 4 times (they only go talk to her or him) never talked to eye witnesses that he has drugged her, sold off her possessions etc. I have called the law repeatedly and they say they can't do anything to him. This is the state of Arkansas. They told me the prosecutor says someone needs guardianship to remove my brother. I obtained a letter from her doctor in order to get my step dad and emergency hearing to be her guardian. The letter states she can't make decisions because she is a harm to herself, she is mentally incompetent due to progressive dementia. I have been working with my step dads attorney as has my sister to back our step dad for guardianship. My brother has criminal record and has been on drugs since 16. He hasn't worked most of his life (he is 63) he got my mom to write a 4000 check and traded my step dads tractor for him a new truck. And the law says they can't do anything because the prosecutor won't prosecute. Because they talked to my mom (who has documented dementia) and she says its okay that he did that. The sheriff hands are tied due to the prosecutor saying he won't prosecute.

My dad left a 100,000 life insurance when he died. It was in an account with my moms name and mine to be kept for us three kids when she passed. She gave a total of 60,000 out of that to my brother. I was advised to move that money so he didn't get it all as POA. So I did. It is just sitting. But I am certain he will try to get to it through my mom.

She has funds in her checking but he is rapidly draining it and her health insurance comes out of that and she has a pain pump installed in her body and if he drains the account, her insurance will not be paid and she can't get her pain pump filled. Its such a mess. I have never seen a county that a prosecutor won't help to protect a senior at risk.

My step dads attorney filed papers for emergency guardianship and that county would no accept e-filing but snail mail and it could be another 2 weeks for EMERGENCY hearing. My step dad needs back in that house but my brother has it where he can't right now. As my brother took my step dads extra credit card and ran up 3100.00 in charges and my step dad confronted him about that and selling his tractor. My brother provoked my 84 year old step dad and he hit him so my brother had him arrested and now my step dad can't go on property that he owns. Isnt the law crazy?

Meanwhile, I am protecting what is left of my dads life insurance and I will not let my brother get the rest of that. There are witnesses that adult protective services would not talk to that have first hand knowledge of my brother drugging my mother. It disgusts me what that county fails to do to protect at risk seniors.
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Maryjann Apr 2021
Your story makes me so angry that nice people who follow the rules are ignored and abused while evil manipulators play the system and take advantage of the elderly - your brother must be a sociopath or had all of his brain cells scrambled by the drugs. I am so sorry.
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The way Im reading this and I have miss read/understood in the past, the siblings you refer to are all his children (siblings of the POA) not your siblings and they are the ones inheriting. You, his brother generously agreed to be the executor of his estate presumably because he knew you would watch over all of his children and in the hopes it would help avoid just the kind of turmoil you have? Not that it makes a huge diffrence legally or procedurally speaking but perception wise...their might be some confusion here.

While it doesn’t really answer your question I am curious, if the family home was left to two of the siblings (neither of which were the POA) were the rental properties to be left to this daughter, who was POA? I ask because if that’s the case her actions could be looked at a little differently, though not excused. There was some reason he chose to make her POA and trusted her with all of his financial affairs. You don’t say there are huge bills left unpaid, like the facility he was living in so that’s good. Did she move into his home after he passed or prior, that may or may not make a difference legally but if it’s been her home for a long time that does put the way you move her out into a different light.

Ultamatley wether the estate has been finalized or not it sounds like this home is either the property of his estate (managed by you) or the sole property of two of his children and the daughter now living in it has no actual claim to the property. I would think it in everyone’s, including hers, best interest to move her out ASAP she is technically a squatter. Maybe that will take more effort and time if it has been her residence for 5, 10 + years, I’m not sure but I would start by presenting the dilemma of a squatter with no ownership or lease who won’t leave, it might be the same as moving a non paying roommate or mate mate out when things go awry or perhaps someone you let stay on your couch while they found another place who never left. Who’s paying the utility bills?

I would try to remove the emotions of a family member with an addiction from the equation and try to react the way you (or they) might with that drifter friend who won’t leave and research from there. I think the advice not to even bring up in any legal type dealings the fact that she was POA and stole money, stay on the high road there and stick to the current facts.

Good luck, you are being a good brother and uncle trying to navigate all of this for your family, your brother chose well on executor.
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Best advice--let it go and move on.

If he was in a nursing home, the cost of care averages $85,000 to $90,000 a year, and one is not allowed to own any more than something like $2,000 in the bank. If the properties were in HIS name, there is an estate recovery law which anything that goes into probate will go toward the cost of his care. Medicaid is a racket.

I don't understand all the circumstances, but put it this way--if he were in a nursing home they will take all his assets anyway. My suggestion is stop and move on. If she is a gambler, let her live her life and if she becomes homeless, that's on her. We are all adults.
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disgustedtoo Apr 2021
"...there is an estate recovery law which anything that goes into probate will go toward the cost of his care. Medicaid is a racket."

Just how is it a "racket"? Medicaid is for the truly needy. IF there are assets, they SHOULD be used to pay for or repay Medicaid (TAX dollars that WE all pay) at TOD.

I didn't realize the full scope of the "plan" when the EC atty set up the trust, etc. It wasn't until I had to start using it to pay for her MC facility that it became clear. He told me NOT to feed the funds into her account, but rather through my own. I didn't want to do that because it would increase my income and subject ME to the capital gains. No thanks! So I deposited what was needed to cover the balance of the "rent" and any other needs into her account. Later he told me to be in touch when she has to move to a NH. THAT's when the light dawned. The "plan" was to "hide" this money and let us inherit it.

I made my decision then and there. I also didn't consult with my brothers (I honestly doubt they understood ANY of it anyway) although one was also POA (never used it) and both were trustees with me on the trust. My decision was firm. If mom had money to pay for NH, it would be paid. Unless/until all the funds were used, I would NOT file for Medicaid.

This is why Medicaid can't provide for everyone who needs it (along with the ridiculously low income limits and other red tape, including most only allowing funds for NH care and NH mostly only take those who need skilled nursing - this leaves out SO many who NEED financial help to cover the cost of facilities and those who are relatively healthy but have dementia!) Turns out the facility mom was in would keep her to the end anyway, so it was all pointless! The only good part is it was well invested and the ROI was SO good that the balance remained more or less static, despite having to take out at least 4k/month!

Anyone who has assets, liquid or property, SHOULD be paying their own way. WE have no right to inherit so other tax payers can cover the costs.
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Let her become homeless. She is the gambler and pays the price for her actions
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We live in WA state each state may have different laws. We hired a lawyer. He found a loophole in our covid rules that if you need to sell the house to pay for the parents place they are living you can extract the squatter. My mom had about 10 homeless we had to kick out. Was a lot of work but paid off in the end. Not same situation, but maybe talk to a lawyer, some offer free 1st meet up or minimal fee. Good luck.
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It's so sad when a family member betrays the others and acts irresponsibly. You say that she does not have assets or income; you would gain nothing by bringing charges. Contact the local government in the area where the house is located and find out if they are offering assistance or forgiveness on property taxes in this situation. You have relatives who need the income from the sale of the house and you have another relative who will be homeless if she is evicted. It's complicated. You'll probably need an attorney to get you through the eventual eviction and sale of the house. The attorney might have to send a legal letter to your son's daughter saying that she owes rent. The government is trying to help keep people off the streets and also to help small landlords. Usually the local government is administering the relief funding.
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When you leave anything of value for someone with a gambling addiction to manage, it is enabling. Forget what she did was despicable. The relatives need to gather for a meeting. Lay all the facts out and make a unified decision. The daughter is an illegal squatter who cares nothing about those she hurts in her self appreciating path. Of course, charges should be brought against her. Do any of you see yourself having her at your Thanksgiving table? She deserves, she needs prison time. It will likely break the gambling, she can learn a trade, get 3 meals a day with free medical. As for her being homeless, she has no concerns for the financial distress of the rightful heirs. There are shelters. The unethical, at the least, actions of the sister will affect the family for years to come.
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I'm curious. If the house is taken by authorities to pay for taxes, what happens to the daughter then...
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igloo572 Apr 2021
It depends on how county / city does tax sale redemptions.

Overall gist is if property has taxes that go unpaid when due in full, then county / city places it on public tax sale list. There is a Notice in newspaper on all properties delinquent for that year. Notice also goes up on board @ courthouse. Each listing delinquent has parcel & PPIN info & a brief legal description & taxes owed. Usually Notice is it’s own separate section printed in the paper 30 & 60 days b4sale. Gives folks full legal opportunity to pay b4 sale. Some places do the listing on line.
Trend is for co. to contract with online service. GovEase is the big player in this and they do online sales in dzs of states. If it’s not on line, then it’s old school butts in chairs at the courthouse in which the entire list is sold off 1 at a time and you sit there waiting for days till property you want comes up and you bid to win. Most places require you to in full front $ in order to bid. So if your looking at $9k tax Bill you have to put up abt $9300 to get to bid. If your bid is not the winner, takes co abt 3-6 weeks to send your $ back. Plus co needs full paperwork & tax ID to register. I do tax sales, it is NOT at all casual ime.

Say you’re high bidder. Then you get tax sale lien on property for that tax year. But you do NOT YET own it.

There is a set by state law redemption period. Most tend to be 3 years. So if the property is delinquent for 3 full tax cycles, it can be redeemed by someone who holds all 3 yrs of tax liens in yr 4. If u have only 1 and your in position year #1, you pay off yr 2 & yr 3 then file in chancery court for a tax sale deed as you hold full redemptions. If your year 2 or 3 normally, you wait an extra 30 days to see what #1 will do. If they do nothing, then you go in and pay off others redemptions. And file for tax deed. If none of year 1,2,3 want to redeem, then anyone can pay off the old redemptions, file to get a tax sale deed. Redemption list published usually 30 days b4 yearly tax sale, but actual redemption usually can’t happen till 60/120 days after tax sale. Patience.

Most folks do tax sales to make $ off the interest. They do NOT want the property. Interest is high, some places 28%. Seems to be 70/80% of properties the owners end up paying past due. In my experience the ones that aren’t paid tend to have issues.... like stuck in probate, owner MIA, secured liens, multiple owners (& 1 will be incarcerated), it’s in bad knife & gun neighborhood or there is an issue that makes property difficult (no egress, its wetlands, in floodplain or right of way to a railroad). Or something dramatic happened in an area, like a Hurricane. Where I am folks walked away after H. Katrina... took their insurance $ and didn’t look back and didn’t clear the lot. I did my first sale to bid on a property I knew prestorm that was abandoned & derbris filled from Katrina.

Now if you are the old owner or heir to the property & want to sell a property with past due taxes and tax liens issued, then to get a clear title, the taxes have to be paid and the tax lein holder's have to get paid to release their ability to do a redemption. For Prevent47, if her siblings want to sell the property and the buyer needs a clear clean title, then the tax debt has to be dealt with for that to happen. Sometimes folks will buy a property with crap title but it runs risk. Banks now won’t do lending if title isn’t clear.

tax sales sound simple but reality quite different is what I found.
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Love the termite tenting idea. She can't NEVER leave the house, can she? Maybe your siblings should just stake the place out for a few days, and be ready to change the locks and have her stuff packed and put outside when she comes back from the store or gym.
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The more I think about this one, and read a few other comments, I've come to this conclusion. You were executor of the will - that means whatever was written in the will, you are supposed to divide estate accordingly. You said the house is now owned by 2 siblings. So I take that to mean, you completed your job and there was paperwork completed to change deed over to the two siblings - and - now filed at the courthouse for recording purposes. Your job is done. You should not be offering legal advice to them, or seeking legal advice for them, just because you're still aggravated with your niece.

They, not you, are now the owners of a home and will need to figure out the best way to proceed in selling the house. This particular inherited property came with problems and it is THEIR problem to sort it out. Has absolutely nothing to do with you. If siblings complain to you, direct them to police department, eviction court, or tell them to find an attorney. They may have their own money problems, but in order for them to make money off the sale of the house, they may have to borrow (to make money, you spend money). You have no say in the matter any longer. Your duty is done.

With covid issues this past year, MANY property owners found themselves in similar situation. Someone living in their property and eviction courts were shut down. No rents collected - had to pay housing costs out of their own pockets. At any rate, this is no longer your problem to be involved in.
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"All the bank records and records of sales of property and and withdrawals of cash by the POA exist. ( $450K plus over 4 years )"

So, you do understand a nursing home costs over $80k a year, thats over $320k of it. Plus property taxes, maintainence, etc, etc. $120k does not go far over 4 years. Thats for 1 elder not 2. So is it the same person your accusing for both elders?

You should not just accuse theft without looking at real costs.
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No, the point is you breached fiduciary responsibility by not paying the property taxes, even if it meant going to court and getting approval for the sale of assets to pay the taxes.

What's the game plan when these siblings come back on you? Now, we have "live" victims. It is criminal and civil.
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preventec47 Apr 2021
Stacy- No not relevant. The executor paid all bills and followed all instructions in the will until everything was completed and then the executor
basically retires and has no more to do with any of it. The current situation involves the heir owners ( siblings ) of the property who cannot get the thief
POA to leave the family residence so they can sell it before it is foreclosed upon for past due property taxes etc.
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Regarding moratoriums currently..... It is not just about non payment of rent. Many or at least in this case the city of Atlanta and the counties within which it
lies, are not doing any evictions no matter the cause or reason. The Sherriffs offices have simply shut down the eviction operations. I am told that judges have granted eviction orders but the judges do not control the sherriffs. so ? ? ?
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