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My husband and I care for my mom, who moved in with us after a stroke left her in a wheelchair. She has no property, estate or assets. She only receives social security every month, which she tells us to apply to our mortgage. My husband and I own our house and two used vehicles, with barely any savings in the bank. We're in California.


My question is how to provide for her in the event that my husband and I pass before she does? We have no family attorney. I'm an only child, so no siblings to take over. I'm concerned about leaving our assets to her in our will in case they're one day seized by Medicare / MediCal. Is a family trust the answer? And who would be the executor? Any advice would be appreciated. I don't even have anyone to ask about this!

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I am feeling a little worried about the "now" of this whole thing, without worrying about the future. My concern is that you say that you are using your Mom's Social Security now to pay your own mortgage. Unless you have a contract written, which is reportable as income on taxes, that your Mom is paying blank amount every month to you as board and care, should Mom need help in event of your death the 5 year lookback could show that she actually "gifted you" all that money, and it could prevent her receiving medicaid. I think that this is a time you cannot afford NOT to see a lawyer, so next Social Security check should go to an Elder Law Attorney to work out a plan for Mom's protection, IMHO.
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Medi-cal wouldn’t seize your assets. Your mother would have to use your assets, that she inherited, to pay for her care before medi-cal started paying for her care.

I am curious why you think she may outlive you & your husband? But regardless, you should work with an elder care attorney so that in the event you both die first, your mother has money to pay for her care. I would think you would want her to have the best care after you die? Set something up so that she can either stay home with round the clock care or go in to the best nursing home in the area as a self-paying resident. Once the money is gone, she can go on medi-cal.
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AlvaDeer Sep 2020
Cali, am I right to be concerned that the OP says that her Mom's SS check is going to pay their mortgage? Should Mom need help in future for ANY reason, of medicaid, wouldn't that affect the lookback as having "gifted"?
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How your assets are best left to your mom in the event of your death is a question only a lawyer should answer for you- one that knows the Medicaid rules in your state. We found more than one elder care attorney who would answer questions for us and only charge us for the paperwork that was drawn up.

As far as who would do the actual care of your mom, you might find some advice at your local Aging Care office. Investigate the care options she would have if she needed care right now and just get a written plan in place. Who knows? Maybe she is eligible for some home help now and you could get that set up.

Good for you for planning ahead! It's scary to think about your own disability or death. But I find things are less scary if I have a plan for them. Stay healthy!
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