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He now believes his longtime wife is actually his mother. He also believes that his adult son is actually his brother. From reading on the forum, I know these types of things happen with dementia. But, is there any current thinking as to the reason(s) for this? He seems to know certain people belong to him and that's encouraging, but then he can't truly place them. I need some perspective on this. Thanks.

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This will happen and may even change on who is who from day to day, minute to minute. Many experience it. Do not take it personally, one of those things to just go along with, do not try to correct or reason with them.
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Mysteryshopper Sep 2020
Thanks for this information. I guess it's a glimmer of what they can still remember in terms of the person being someone they know, but can't correctly identify them. I agree that correcting him seems futile.
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This person's "confusion" is not a result of dementia. It's a result of the disease causing dementia. Once the disease is diagnosed, you can do the research to determine the cause of this behavior.

That said, you know that this is a common symptom. One idea is to re-introduce oneself to him each time they meet. Stand directly in front of him, be at his eye level, and state who you are and your relationship (wife, son, friend, etc). That may trigger the correct memory of the visitor for him.
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Mysteryshopper Sep 2020
Makes sense. I did try this with him (Hi, I'm so-and-so. Thanks for having me over). His reply was "Of course, I know you!" I wasn't clear if he knew me from the get-go, if he knew me as a result of me giving him my name, or if he still didn't know me but was pretending like he did. I agree with you that it certainly can't do any harm to work my name into the conversation. If it helps, then it helps. There was one occasion where his wife had just finished telling me that he no longer knows anyone's names anyway. However, she'd no sooner said that and he called someone (correctly) by name. I really think some moments are better than others.
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People often lose their place in time. That old woman can not possibly be his wife or that middle aged man his son because in his world he himself is only a young man in his prime, so he assigns the most logical relationships to people he still recognizes as important family members.
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DeeAnna Sep 2020
Great answer! It makes lots of sense (to me).

My grandmother would tell my Dad (her son), "I have a son named Jim".

A resident in a LTC facility thought he was on his ship during WWII. Whenever a "Department Meeting" (for heads of nursing, dietary, housekeeping, therapy, etc) was announced over the facility's loud speaker, the resident would go to the meeting because he was a "Department Head" for his section of the battle ship. More than once we had to redirect him to "an urgent problem below deck that required his attention immediately"--he would leave the meeting only if he received permission from "the Commander" (AKA Facility Adminstrator).
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