Sibling is a paid part-time caregiver and the partner cooks dinner and buys food. Partner pays very minimal share of utilities. Sibling and partner frequently out and other siblings pick up caregiving for free. No contract. Our mother was much sicker when the move in took place.

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So it sounds like you are saying that your mom is doing much better since your sibling and his/her partner moved in. Still you feel like they are not doing as much as they should? Maybe because your sibling is paid and they have free rent. Plus they are gone from time to time and other family members have to fill in.

Your mom would have to pay the rent and all utilities if she was on her own. You (if you live close by) and your sibs would have to provide round the clock care or hire others to do it. Who pays your sibling?

Maybe your mom is eating better and has lots of company and gets her meds on time, etc. If she is feeling better, then it seems like the arrangement is working for her and her needs.

Maybe I'm not reading your question correctly. What do you feel is wrong. Is your sib over paid? It's hard to put a value on care giving from a family member. If your sib and her partner get to go out and have a life, they might last longer as care givers to you mom.

Let me know your thoughts. Best wishes, Cattails.
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Is Sib being paid out of Mother's money? Is Mother unhappy about the expense?

Your sib and his/her partner moved in when Mother was sicker than she is now. Are you suggesting that she doesn't need live-in caregivers now? How does she feel about that? If other sibs have to pick up the caregiving when the Live-in goes out, that sounds like you all feel she needs 24/7 care. So I guess I am really confused about the situation.

The Partner cooks, buys food, and pay some on the utilities, and for for this gets to share a house with an elderly woman who needs a lot of care. And you don't think that is enough of a contribution? If Partner moved out and you put an ad in the paper to get a renter/boarder, how much do you think you could charge?

If one of the other kids were doing this with a spouse, would you expect the spouse to pay rent?

Whether Sib is being paid or not, and whether or not Sib has a Partner, as a caregiver Sib absolutely has to have some time away. That is one of few hard-and-fast rules of caregiving. Nobody can do it 24/7 without respite and some away with their sanity and health intact. And you say the pay is only for parttime caregiving. So how is the rest of the time supposed to be covered? Either by other sibs volunteering, I suppose, or by paying someone else.

Assuming Sib is doing a good job and handling this responsibly, I'd say your family is very, very lucky.

My only suggestion for a change would be to put the financial arrangement in writing.
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Thank you Cattails and JeanneGibbs for your responses. Your comments have helped me put things in perspective and appreciate even more the caregiving situation my mother has. My mom needs help dressing and meal preparation.
I do feel my sibling and partner are taking advantage of the situation, but I should be happy it's family and not strangers.
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