My parents (both 78) lost their home and everything in a house fire a little over a month ago. They moved out of state to stay with my brother but since he is a truck driver and did not think they should be alone he placed them in an assisted living. They are not happy about it, they are confused. My mom is on medication for anxiety and depression. Dad moves very slow and gets confused. My wife and I are out of state but are willing to get them. Right now they need help with getting their medications, talking to Medicare, getting vision. etc. They feel helpless and so do I . Who can I talk to who can advise me how I can help them. Thanks

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Loss of everything in a fire has got to be emotionally devastating. I imagine that your parents would be in a kind mourning no matter where they were.

You and your wife are willing to get them and do what? Place them in an assisted living facility closer to you? Settle them in another house? Find them an apartment? Move them in with you? Since brother travels it might be better for them to live near you, but how do they feel about that?

What was their health like before the fire? Were they borderline unsafe on their own then, or did the confusion come on as a result of the fire? Why did they move to your brother's state instead of yours?

For the short run, can your brother help with anything? Have you talked to the ALF's director? What additional services can they provide? For example, can they arrange transportation to a medical appointment? Can someone accompany them? (These things usually have an additional charge.) Start by making a list of the help you know your parents need right now and talk to the ALF and your brother about it. Does the ALF have a social worker? Contact that person for more information about your parents' needs and how you can help.

There are some things you can probably research on the internet and handle by phone.

This is not an easy situation. I wish you strength and insight!
Helpful Answer (3)

Another move might just add more to their confusion. Can you visit them and see things for yourself? Their situation might really be very OK and you'd want to be sure moving them to your neck of the woods or moving them in with you would really be a lot better. Most likely they are in an assisted living facility because of the confusion, not the other way around.
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Who's Power of attorney for your parents?Is your Brother POA?If he is their POA there's really nothing you can do unless you can prove he isn't doing his job as POA.If your parents don't have a Power of Attorney.Your parents can appoint someone to be their POA.That someone can be you.
Your bother did the best thing to do.Both your parents are together in a assisted living facility.At that age that is the best place for them until their health become worse.Sometimes it's not best to take your parents into your home instead of a nurcing home or a assisted living facility .Becoming a caregiver is a bigger job then people claim.And causes,relationships between you and your parents to go bad.If your just after to move your parents closer to you in another assisted living facility I don't see a problem.As long as the family agrees on it together.
The answer to your question is,
Take your parents to a attorney and have them appoint you their Power of Attorney.Once that happens you can do want you desire to do with your parents.
If your brother is allready POA.Your parent's must have the attorney void your brother's POA.Before you can be appointed.If your parent's are incompatent no attorney will change or remove your brother's POA.
You need to talk to a attorney.
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