Parents moving to ALF. Should we take mom's current bed to keep things as familiar as possible?

Daughter89, I would vote on taking Mom's current bed. If the room allows, try to set up her furniture in the same way she has a home. So when she does wake up, she sees the same items she sees at home. Use the same bedspread. Usually the Assisted Living has their own sheets and towels. If not, use the same sheets/towels Mom has.

When my Dad moved into Assisted Living, I was able to use his double bed, and was able to put his highboy dresser to the left of the bed, plus his nightstand which he was use too. Dad was use to nightlights so that helped as I think waking up in a totally dark room would be unnerving, I know it is for me.

I agree that her own bed will be best, at least at the beginning. Once she's settled and they want more space in their room, a twin bed could be brought in if she wants. And as freqflyer suggests, same dresser if possible, and nightlights. I got some that are movement activated because there is plenty of outside light coming in her window to let her know where she is.

Another vote for keeping things as much the same and familiar as possible. That's what we did for my MIL. Things will change eventually and adjustments will need to be made.

Wish my mom would have been able to keep her bed. But she ended up sleeping in the recliner anyway. She had a full size bed so we have that in the room at the facility where she is staying now.

Take her bed and anything else that is familiar. Try to set up the room as close to hers as possible. Do not take anything worth money. Like nick nacks or jewelry.

Mom was in a nice AL. I noticed her room wasn't being dusted and questioned it. Seems one of the cleaning people had broken an expensive figurine dusting. So, she was told not to dust where there were figurines. But, she also didn't dust Moms headboard, TV stand or the window ledge.

I agree take whatever they want and what will fit in the new surroundings.

My mom had us move her couch in her room instead of a bed. That way it looked like a living room for when she had guests and then would sleep on the couch at night. Worked out well for her.

I moved everything from a spare bedroom when my husband went to AL - bed, bureau, bedspread, pictures, etc. He never once questioned sleeping there. I would move her bed and if you need to change it later, do it then when it’s not as important to her. Good luck.

I would take her bed and anything else that is familiar and set it up the same way. If you need to change it later so be it but I would try to keep as much continuity as you can. Good luck.

Just a comment here: when we moved my inlaws, she was sitting in her favorite chair with the same afghan over it, surrounded by her same furniture and questioning why we had not moved her furniture. I agree it is a good idea to move as much as possible to keep it the same but it was funny. We were making her bed with her same comforter and we heard her exclaim to my FIL, "What do you mean we are staying here, what about our stuff" .

Please keep her bed that she’s using today. When we moved my mom to an ALF they gave her a single bed at the facility provided it was hard and my mom didn’t sleep a wink and she aged terribly and it wasn’t until we moved her out of that place into a new place that was better that we decided that we would also give her her regular bed back so that she finally slept regularly. The only thing will add to this is that she’s progressed to the later stages of dementia and she’s a bigger woman and they have a hard time moving her so they wanted us to put her in a hospital bed I was concerned about that because those are not known to be comfortable. That’s phase 2 A whole other story . but the bottom line on that as you had then take time to get the best comfortable hospital bed when they reach that stage.

please check with AL, we were unable to bring her mattress and box spring. Had to purchase new.

When Mom moved in with us (disaster all around), I wanted to move her dresser, nightstand, ugly recliner that she loved, & whatever else that would be familiar to her & could fit in the 2 rooms that she was to be using. Sister, who had the truck & I needed her help, nixed the idea because she didn’t feel like it (her words). Nothing was familiar to Mom, so her anxiety went off the charts. As did everyone else in our home.

Mom lasted 2 months with us and then we moved her to AL. All those items were still available, and it was suggested by the AL director to furnish Mom’s room with familiar items. Well, golly gee! “My chair!” “My dresser!” Words from a woman who was living in her own world.

Bottom line, I regret not trusting my instincts & bringing those items to our home with Mom. Would the outcome have been the same, with Mom moving to AL? Probably. I do believe that Mom wouldn’t have been as stressed if she had familiar items surrounding her.

I would take as many familiar items as possible to personalise her room. The personalization helps in easing the adjustment. Your thoughts/ instincts are correct. Just be selective and not take too much.

Absolutely, take as many of her things as you can! Her belongings are her connection with her past. With anyone this will bring comfort to have your personal items, with a person with dementia this is a must. Her bed, pictures, her favorite chair any of her items can bring a since of familiarity when she gets confused and is searching for something she recognizes.

I wish you well on your journey, let us know how it goes and if you have any questions we can help with.

Yes. When I needed a new bed, one reason for getting another Queen after my DH passed was - I have sheets for it!

So your Mother has sheets for a full size bed - a very good reason to take her current bed. Not only is she used to it, she's used to her own sheets.

Good Luck.

Yes, take the bed! Also take some pictures of her dresser, medicine cabinet, closet. Recreating her room will help her feel at home. If she has a favorite coffee cup, or bedside lamp? Take it. Have her pick some things out,,,this is her new home.
Prayers for your journey...and most of all enjoy her.

My mom has always had her own furniture in each of the facilities where he has lived. And, yes, familiar things do tend to soften the changes of moving from home to a facility. Unless you are placing her in a facility for respite care where they provide the furniture for you since it is a short-term care placement, the facility normally comes with open rooms, unfurnished, except for the refrigerator and microwave, allowing you to figure out where you want to put things. Like when you move into an unfurnished apartment or house.

Three years ago, I was asking very similar question. I ended up buying new smaller bed, and my mom coped with that just fine. She went from King to Full.

Why does your dad want to size down the bed?

The bed you said fits. Take it.

I did this same thing. Only problem was that the ALF sheets didn't fit the bed we brought. Mom ended up with the ALF's bed.

Take the bed, nightstand, lamp, clock. Moved MIL into our home, new adjustable bed because of CHF and needing to sleep with head elevated for breathing, she thought she was royalty because bed has a remote to raise head or feet, did bring her chest of drawers, nightstand, small book shelf, special lamp, and her large numbered alarm clock along with photos etc. We also set up a sitting room for her in the other bedroom with her couch, loveseat, end table, lamps, small curio cabinet with her angels ( about 60 or so) I also took her favorite pictures and hung them here for her. Tried to recreate what I could so it would feel like home when she came here. Helped her transition. Her sitting room is for her when she needs alone time, she is normally with us in the livingroom or in the kitchen, just wanted to give her a "me" zone when she has the need for her space and privacy.