Follow
Share

Mother is in hospice care. Stepfather is very ill. They do not have a will. Beneficiary on everything is each other. I am caregiver for both. How do I get my name on accounts and have beneficiary changed? If my mother passes, it all goes to my stepfather. If stepfather passes, I assume his next of kin will inherit everything.

Do you mean they WISH their belongs are left to each other?

Or do you refer to 'intestate' laws? Where assets usually pass to next of kin, in an order set by law. Usually in order of legal spouse, recognised adult children, siblings.

"How do I get my name on accounts and have beneficiary changed". You don't. It is bestowed on you IF they wish it, have capacity to decide legal matters & sign legal paperwork.

Tread with care. Coersive behaviour of vulnerable people & elder financial abuse are serious matters, as they need to be.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Beatty
Report

Geaton is correct. How an estate is divided goes according to state law.

HOWEVER, if there is ONLY the one account, and it is co-owned by the mom and her husband, then everything in that account will belong to the remaining party.

If you are the caregiver here you are missing a caregiving contract. See and elder law attorney. If Mom and stepdad are competent things can be changed. If they no longer are competent then things can't be easily altered, but you should be POA if that is the case, or guardian of at least you mother. You need to see an attorney to work out the options in your own unique case here.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Please consult an estate lawyer asap and explain your situation.

Normally when’s there’s no Will or Trust, the estate goes through Probate Court, and some point the next of kin has first rights.

’I wish you the best…’
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Wisdom7
Report

Trying, are either of them able to go to the bank with you and put you on the accounts as a joint account holder? That's what I would try to get done, this allows you to use their money for their needs and, hopefully, for you to get some return on what you paid from your own pocket.

This sounds like such a terrible situation for all of you. May The Lord give you strength, guidance and wisdom to do what you are doing. Remember to keep an eye on your own health and well-being while you walk this path.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report

Reading this saddens me. Many are afraid to put beneficiaries on accounts and other finances. This only leaves children in a frantic state, feeling angry and helpless.
In actuality, this is extremely helpful to aid in care for their parents. This gives them a degree of control . The POA is like gold when you have to go to the bank or as a matter of fact do anything.
i have so learned when I had my husband’s POA and tried to close an account with only a $1000. I was there for 2 hrs.and had an appointment.
I am not sure what paperwork you may have signed for Mom to be in a SNF and now hospice. Is she on MEDICAID? If there are no beneficiaries on her half of the estate, then it belongs to Medicaid. You really need a Medicaid elder lawyer for Dad and like yesterday . hustle my dear hustle !!
Arbitrary forms are dangerous .. they make you financially liable .
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to ShellieTired
Report
LaurieEV Jun 15, 2025
So if my mom dies in a Nursing home and is on Medicaid, they will take her savings account?!
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
I can't imagine the anxiety and stress this situation is causing you. I remember when my dad was palliative but still able to remain at home before going into palliative hospital care, he had a large bank account in his name only so we (my brother and I) wanted it to pass over to my mom when he passed. Dad was only able to draw an x. He could not sign anymore. He had cancer. So we asked a representative from the bank to come to our house to witness my dad's wishes of passing the account onto my mom. Helps even more if somebody at the bank is familiar with him or mom. Don't worry. I think you'll find a resolution to this.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Vito8675309
Report

I had similar issues because my parents never had a plan. Life would have been easier for their daughters if good decisions were made before their health issues reached a crisis stage.

I would consult an elder care lawyer to see what can be done. That’s what my family did.

If I can get through this, you can too. Best of luck,
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Hothouseflower
Report

Trying2x: Retain an attorney.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Llamalover47
Report

Call an Elder Law attorney. Both are in a position they cannot legally sign a document. Had a brother try to change documents at my father's bank and it was illegal since had dementia. Very tough situation but the attorney will hopefully be able to help you.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Greeneyes60
Report

Each state has laws that guide the distribution if people die without a will.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to brandee
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter