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My family is so filled with hate and rage. They always find everything wrong with me, my life, my house, car. I'm so scared, angry and hurt. The scapegoat that's been used finally figured out they cant love me why didn't i see it sooner. My father is truely evil. and has been since i was very little. now he has alzheimers only loved my sister (golden child) all i ever wanted was a family that loved each other. they pretend to be kind suck me in then turn on me. a constant roller coaster. They are so filled with hate and rage. always finding everything wrong with me, my life, my house, car..... my sister is perfect (reality, she is an alcoholic, on drugs, unemployed, broke, unaccomplished) they are evil. in a very sneaky way. where my father stopped hating me and insulting me...my mother picked up and she was the only reason i have been hanging in. now i know she has no love either. is there any one out there that has an elderly parent who only talks about their money? paranoid? find things wrong alllllll the time?

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It must be very painful to deal with longstanding pain from mistreatment in your family. The problem is that with Alzheimers, your dad won't have the ability to work out the issues and make amends. And neither can other people who are suffering from dementia. I might work with a counselor in order to get some tools to help me and to help set some boundaries. When a certain family member has substance abuse, it puts a whole other spin on it. Sometimes, we can' fix others and we just have to learn to heal ourselves, accept ourselves and be gentle with ourselves. Outside approval may never come. I hope you can find some peace.
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Yours sounds like a very toxic situation. Is there any way you can distance yourself, physically and/or emotionally?

Sunnygirl1 suggested boundaries. Boundaries are necessary in life, especially with dysfunctional families. There are books you can buy that can explain how to set and maintain boundaries. I read one simply called "Boundaries" and it was very helpful.

Take care of yourself.
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My mom is the same way and I am an only child. The feeling of being hated by a parent is the worst, especially when you didn't do anything to deserve it. I don't understand it either. I think when you have a parent who has always been on the meaner side it is hard to say that it is just the mental illness that is making them this way because you have known them to be this way all along. It is just worse now. I, also, get very hurt by the things that are said.I think it is because you don't know if they mean it or not. And, yes, it is all about the money! I am in the same boat as you are. I honestly don't know what to do about it except take her money to pay for a place to put her at some point. I can't let her ruin the rest of my life or my health. We need to think logically. I am sorry you are going through this too.
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