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I'm the one taking care of my 97 yr old mom who now is failing her swallowing test at the hospital that i reported earlier as of 6 days ago she was eating great, and taking drinks in until the pneumonia hit they (hosp) fought hard to get it under control, but they think mom isn't passing their swallow test which the next one were going to be there for it because we were able to give her some nourishment and she took it without choking. the doc said tube feedings of any kinds isn't the way to go. so starve them is the only way. shes alert, talks in her own way shes been dx for 8 yrs and is a fighter so what do i do. don't like the starving method not ok with me, watching her want drinks and food and not giving it to her while she starve.

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Hi University, my mom just passed (this sunday) from end stage Alz. Do not force feed her, losing the ability to eat or drink is usually the start of the dying phase, my mom was under hospice care for more than 2 years, which is unusual. When thy start to die refusing food or drink is not unusual. We sustained my mom for months with feeding her through a syringe to the mouth and gently dripping it into her mouth, but the last few days she was not able to take anything by mouth. We were told by hospice that this was normal and did not make the person dying uncomfortable. In fact, they said if we did try, that would cause her discomfort. From what I understand, this refusal or inability to eat or drink is normal as their internal organs are failing. Mama died quietly (except for the agonal breathing) in her sleep. I'm glad we did everything to make her comfortable - even if it was hard for us. Blessings to you, Lindaz.
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Hospice has specific and extensive experience with persons in the last stage of life. They were able to come up with some solutions that helped keep my husband comfortable.

Their attitude was to let my husband eat whatever he wanted to/could eat,but not to push him to take food. (He "failed" the swallowing test, too.)

Being with a loved one who has started the process of dying is very stressful. Don't discount the value of "support."
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When my mother was in Hospice ( where she passed) a nutritionist explained that even if she actually ate anything, the food would not be metabolized - has no place to go as the bodily functions are breaking down. Therefore, your mom is no longer getting any nutrition or calories.
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Why are they saying no feeding tube? My hubbie had ALS and had said he didn't want any "drastic measures" to keep him alive, including a feeding tube. But when his ability to swallow finally hit, he was still cognizant and wanted to be able to fight to stay alive for as long as he could. So he was given a feeding tube which required 1 night in the hospital - since his ALS doc was 2 hours away. Only at the very end (last 2-3 days) was he unable to tolerate any feedings that way. We were glad that he/we had decided that withdrawing sustenance when everything else was fine was not humane. I'll be praying for wisdom for you!
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Momcare, hospice is all about easing the final months toward a certain death. It isn't about the money, it is about having the tools in place if the need arises. The hope is that we all slip away quietly in our sleep, the reality is that most of us do not and both patient and caregiver can use a little support through both medication and on call nursing.
If you don't feel your mom is dying then why would you enroll with hospice?
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I know how you feel. It is SO hard to let go of our mothers. Believe it or not, our bodies are equipped to handle the starvation. There are other people who can explain it much better than I can, but she will feel no pain or hunger. Inserting a tube is invasive and painful, and many people have expressed the desire to avoid that treatment. If she's not ready to go, she will accept the thickened liquids without choking, but will she be able to get enough to maintain life? A sip here and there is just prolonging the inevitable.

It is so hard and I'm sending you my best thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time.
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mom has been on thickit for a long time its classified as honey level and shes doing fine before her admission. yes they suggested hospice but what can they do for me. i have girls some that have been here over a year with my mom and we have all the medical equipment needed so other then support i see no use in hospice
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Ice cream, something she likes. Keep her happy
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university64, what has happened in the last 4 days? Is she home now? Have you made a decision about hospice? Bring us up to date, please. We care.
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I think your question may have misled some of us. I have no experience with this, but one or two have said that despite failing the swallow test their loved one was able to eat if the food was properly prepared and survived for sometime afterwards. My understanding is that if a person cannot swallow that a tube is an alternative, but that studies have shown that, in fact, a tube only helps in certain circumstances and can bring its own problems. Lindaz said they were able to keep her mum alive for a while by dripping food through a syringe. I liked the advice that Jeanne was given let her husband eat what he could and/or wanted to. Please let us know how things are, ((((hugs))))
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