Happy holidays! We were planning on having a small get together at my (30f) house with my dad (82m) and my two half sisters. They all live 2 hours north of where me, my husband and our 2 year old live. My nuclear family usually drives up to them, but being 30 weeks pregnant, managing a toddler nap schedule (he has not napped at my dad's condo) and my dad's aggressive and aggressively shedding cat we planned to host Christmas at our house and make one holiday easier.
The original plan was for them to come to us either for the day or stay overnight if they wanted to this Saturday the 27th. They all live 10-15 minutes away from each other, so the plan was for my dad to ride with one of them. My sisters have both since backed out of coming for different reasons. They are half-siblings from my mom's side (she passed away when I was 18), so they are not my dad's kids, but were willing/suggested helping as a solid to me which was appreciated. I have emotional frustration as this has been a larger pattern with my sisters, but am looking for more logistical solutions here.
My husband has said he is willing to drive up, get my dad, drive back down and then take him home when we're all done, but its going to be 8 hours of driving. We went up to my dad's for Thanksgiving this year and are at a point where it is extremely uncomfortable between pregnancy, the cat hair everywhere, and our son needing to nap around 1. My dad has had knee issues and while he gets around driving locally fine, he would not be up for making the drive himself which is understandable.
I'm trying to figure out if there are any options to transport my dad 2 hours outside of my husband having to drive. Uber would be $200 each way, and NEMT seems like it would be even more expensive. I don't think its fair to my dad that he doesn't get Christmas with his grandson because my sisters flaked, so I'm not looking to cancel. But I also have to balance my husband and child's needs, and it is just not going to be reasonable for us going forward (especially after another baby is born) to do holidays at his place.
Offer sincere apologies, order a cooked Christmas dinner from your local supermarket for your own small family, and enjoy it. Put your feet up instead of staying on them for hours to cook, serve and clean up a dinner that everyone will finish in 20 minutes. It's the only thing that makes sense, considering the circumstances. Dad will be at home with Fluffy (or perhaps by that time Fluffless) and possibly relieved that he doesn't have to pretend to be having a good time just because it's Christmas. I mean, after 82 years, it's not quite magical anymore.
If you feel like it, you can put your toddler on the phone to say "Merry Christmas" to Grandpa.
Your half-sisters seem to be pretty much done with your Dad, so I wouldn't rely on them anymore. Maybe it's time to convince him to move closer to you if you both wish to see each other more and have him in the life of your kids. He's the one with more flexibility -- not you and your family.
I know this doesn't answer the question you asked about transporting him. My suggestion for that is to tell him sorry, it just doesn't work out this year or for future holidays unless he wishes to pay the $400 Uber fee each time.
previouly I did a lot of running around and coordinating to make sure my father could be at holidays. The stress was too much.
there is a point where we can’t do it alll
I wish the best of luck to you, whatever the circumstances. Afraid this may fall under that huge umbrella of "not everything can be fixed".
And please don’t blame your sisters. I know it’s very frustrating, especially last minute, but he’s not their dad and they need to be able to enjoy their holidays. I understand your resentment but you don’t need them to build up resentments for the opposite reason.
And going forward, you may need to rethink your holidays. But please relax and enjoy this one, however it works out. You deserve a nice day with all that you have going on.