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My 87 year old grandmother only blames me for everything that upsets her. My uncle, her youngest son (my dads younger brother), upsets her a lot and instead of directing her frustration or anger towards him (the cause of her being upset), she’ll treat me extremely horribly....yelling, swearing & blaming me for his bs that he did once again to inconvenience & upset her life. I’ve asked him to not do...and will go into detail for him, of exactly what he did to p$ss her off & since I have to take care of her & live with her & he doesn’t....he could care less. I’ve asked for advise even from my aunty who’s the oldest of the 3 of them & she too doesn’t really know how to deal with my uncle.....Help !! Any advise??

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There’s nothing that should make you take verbal abuse, no matter what grandmothers condition is. You can’t change her or your uncle, but you can help to come up with a new plan for yourself. A family meeting is an excellent idea, a meeting where you clearly state that you’re not going to be yelled at any longer. Grandmother may need a new living situation or it may be you that does, but something needs to change in the toxic stew. Best to you in making changes
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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ExhaustedGirl, grandchildren should not be the caregivers to their grandparents unless there are no sons or daughters alive to take over the care.

You being a grandchild, you need to have your own life, the same as your grandmother's own sons and daughter had their life at your age. Plus from your profile, your two grown daughters are also helping you out. Keep working outside of the home, it will give you some sanity.

Time for a family meeting [without grandmother] to talk about what to do. It may be time for grandmother to move to Assisted Living where she would be around people of her own generation and have people her age to talk to. My Dad loved being in a senior home just for that reason. Then again, it depends if grandmother can budget the cost of Assisted Living.
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Reply to freqflyer
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What is your uncle doing that upsets your grandmother?

Why does a lady with three grown children have her granddaughter living with her and providing care?

What are your grandmother's main care needs?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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