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She is also showing signs of developing dementia, which she hides well from people who don’t know her. After 48 years, I recognize the rapid decline in her cognitive abilities being around her every day. I also find it difficult to keep/find a good paying job that is willing to work with me in our need for doctors’ appointments, sometimes set up and scheduled for the time off and then the doctor’s office calls and needs to reschedule, or they need to schedule an unexpected test, etc. I need to find out if there are resources available for me to be able to get financial help for caring for her in my home. She is not totally incapacitated, but not capable of being left for long periods. Maybe still allowing me to work some PT for a while until she is completely unable to be left alone at all. I could set up a monitor to keep an eye on her. Usually she just sleeps anyway. I totally feel for anyone else who is in a similar situation. It’s very frustrating and makes you feel very isolated from your friends and the rest of the world.

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Lacie2, the vast majority of grown children, who are caring for a parent, do not get paid.... unless that parent can pay you using their savings. If yes, it is highly recommend that you draw up an Employment Contract that states what are your duties, your hours, your days off, your hourly rate, and who will be doing the payroll taxes. This Contract will be useful when later down the road if the parent needs to sign up for Medicaid.

If your Mother can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], maybe your State offers a payment program for you. Don't be surprised if the pay is minimum wage for a few hours per week. Medicaid is paid by us taxpayers.

I understand what you are going through with being employed and the boss not understanding. I had a "Devil wears Prada" type of manager with zero understanding. Eventually I left that company and found a new company which was so understanding, that I was able to leave at a moment noticed to help my parents if it was urgent.

Hope you find something that works out for the both of you.
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Are you sacrificing your own financial future by taking care of your mother? The stress of the caregiving and perhaps physical demands will also negatively affect you.

What is your mother's financial situation? Can she afford a facility? Could she become Medicaid-eligible?
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https://www.agingcare.com/topics/133/paying-for-care

Caregiving for our LOs is often less about a perfect solution or arrrangement and more about "least bad option". That's just the reality of it. Flexibility will be key for you to keep your sanity.
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The monitor - what will you do if you're not home and you see that she's doing something dangerous? Like walking out of the house naked (my neighbor did this, in October) or something equally unexpected? And you're half an hour away or more? A monitor watches but doesn't prevent anything from happening, and bad things happen in the blink of an eye. Even though she now sleeps a lot, that could change as well. The doctors' visits will continue to be a problem, so you might look into doctors who are willing to do telemed visits. Sometimes dementia patients start shadowing, which means they follow you everywhere in the house and insist on being in the same room with you, which means it's nearly impossible to get work done for your job. I'm not trying to naysay everything, but reality is that it's not as simple as you may think. Just food for thought as you move forward on this journey.
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