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On father's day in 2015, 2 weeks after my HS graduation, my father had a stroke. Before then he had some mental issues that affected my home life. Very hard to explain as I've tried and no one seems to believe or wants to believe it would ever happen. I had a full ride to a university and I chose to go because I know thats what he would want. 2 months after starting I withdrew and went into debt because my dads girlfriend/friend/whatever told me constantly how selfish I was even though he has to be in a care facility after having heart surgery. After my dad's stroke he lost the ability to speak, has a severe mental decline, can't cook or shower on his own. and hasn't regained any speech back to this day. My father is under the care of his would be girlfriend of 10+ years, she chose to quit work and care for him because I did not want to. I've never gotten along with his GF and she has put me through a lot and streas and depression throughout my childhood. I love my father, he's the only parent I've ever known, but my childhood to a very very bad turn at one point and I'm still having problems recovering and trying not to have the memories run through my mind. Long stort short, I'm tired of dealing with her but I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of living with my father again. Just spending the night with him I'm on edge and can't sleep. I'm engaged and we live in an apartment less than 10 minutes away from them, I have a really really good job that I enjoy and see myself actually doing something at in the long run and I do see him many times every week. I'm just so lost on what to do. I thought her handling everything would solve all the problems since I have absolutely no family to fall back on but being 21 but doing it since 18, and my dad still being young at 59 almost 60, it's tough. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to ask i just need some opinions or something to put my mind at ease.

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One option would be to talk to an attorney and pursue guardianship if your dad is not mentally competent to be able to make his own health decisions. That would then give you the authority to make decisions about your dad's care, including placement in a skilled nursing facility, if you feel that would be where he would get the best care. It sounds like it might.

Can you also contact the school and re-enroll in the program? Yes, you might have to take out some student loans, but the education will help your career in the long run. I'd also talk to the scholarship committee to see if you might still be eligible for assistance. Explain to them your dad's health situation and that it has been a rough time. They might cut you some slack. I think it's definitely worth a try. I just hate to see you give up on account of what dad's girlfriend said. Don't let her guilt you. Perhaps she resents becoming your dad's full time caregiver, but she made that choice. It is a lot of work, which is why in the long run dad will probably end up needing skilled nursing care.

Please come back and let us know how everything goes. Take care of you too. You are a husband to be with a bright future ahead, despite the hardships you are enduring right now.
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Pray for him wish him the best live your life
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If your father’s ‘girlfriend’ has been caring for him for over 10 years, you have to accept that she is a partner rather than a girlfriend and that this is the way it is going to continue. You have joined Cinderella and her large group of friends who don’t get on with a step-mother! Try to keep your interactions with her brief and polite. Work out how to interact with your father separately.

He is still young, and so are you. Most people change jobs in their twenties. When you are ready for that, it might be sensible to move away. At present you are still living in a continuum with a difficult childhood and teenage interactions. After a break, you can move back if you wish, but as an adult. Be glad that GF is caring for him, so you have options to move on that many people don’t have.
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It has been said that no child should take in a parent who has abused them in anyway. That just doesn't mean physical it also means verbal and mental. If your childhood was traumatic and she is part of it, then only visit when u feel up to it. Let her do the caregiving. Offer to sit with Dad to give her a break but take BF with you.

Its hard to shake off the things that happen to us as a child. But, you are now 21 engaged to be married. You owe this woman nothing. Set boundries and don't allow her to get to you. Learn to handle the situation maturely with dignity. If you handle this well, you will be able to handle other things well.
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