I take care of my father, along with my brother, and have no one I can speak to these difficult days. Recently I made contact online with an old friend and earlier today I had a long telephone conversation with them. I hadn't spoken to them in 12 years!
It was going well and they asked me if I wanted to go to the beach for a weekend to have fun and to do more catching up. I said that I needed to talk with my father. He says seriously and kind of condescending these exact words: "You know, one day your father will be dead and gone and what will you do?". I just said "Well, I need to speak with him. I will get back to you.". I did not like his comment, it seemed hurtful, really hurtful, but I maybe I am blowing it out of proportion? Maybe I'm not thinking clearly? Maybe he meant that I need to make my own decisions now? That's true but I do need to talk with my father.
I definitely want to get away and this person was always good to me before and vice-versa. But on the other hand I feel like sending him an email saying "Sorry. I can't go this summer. I'm really busy the next few months." And that's it forever. What do you think?
And if you really think that with Brothers paid aides, brother and you all helping, maybe that’s the time to re evaluate your thinking, but that’s on you.
"Sorry. I can't go this summer. I'm really busy the next few months. And that's it forever." That is called "Cutting your Nose off to Spite your Face." It's allowing more Hurt Feelings to get in the way of a Friendship that may actually HELP you in your life. Hurt Feelings is a choice, not something you MUST allow to prevail.
I recommend you read a book, it's called The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The Four Agreements are:
1) Be Impeccable with Your Word.
2) Don't Take Anything Personally.
3) Don't Make Assumptions.
4) Always Do Your Best.
You would do well to follow #2 especially: don't take anything personally.
What I think is, Quora is a better fit for getting the type of answers you're looking to get, not AgingCare.
I wish you nothing but good luck in your life, honestly.
You really need to get a life and quit bothering the good people on this forum who have actual problems, and need real help. Now I'm not saying that you don't need help, because you definitely do. But the kind of help you need is mental health help, and none of us on here are equipped to give you that kind of help.
So I suggest that you make an appointment with a certified therapist/counselor today, and get the real help you obviously need.
Maybe he wanted to show you the personalized license plate they got with your name on it.
Seriously doesn't your father have round the clock aides taking care of him?
It might be better for you to leave dad alone for a weekend so his medications don't go missing in the spice cabinet again.
Has that comment make you think or reflect?
Same song, different verse. 🙄
Maybe he didn’t express himself in the best way but maybe he meant something like, carpe diem (seize the day)! Anyway, if he’s a kind person I would tell him how you feel or maybe just let it go.