Is it okay not to have a funeral?

When my dad died, we didn't have any kind of service. My family isn't religious and my dad never had a lot of friends and he and my mom moved 200 miles north to live near me. We had my dad cremated (per his wishes) and I still have his ashes. Every family is different and has a right to handle the death of a loved one in any way they choose. My mom's passing will be handled the same way. I would believe some of my religious cousins will be shocked that we're not having a funeral service, but my mom isn't religious either. To each his own is what I believe.

As others have said, if you all are in agreement on this, then no funeral.

I would carefully read the donation agreement to see just how the medical school deals with the remains. Also read to see if they can decline the donation if they have too many of your mom's category.

I think it is fine, if nothing has been requested specifically by the deceased . I personally want to be creamated and have my ashes strewn in water, I will make my wishes known to my lawyer.

My mother, age 93, has already told me that she wants to be cremated,no funeral, just a mass said, followed by a catered breakfast across the street in the church hall. One of her dear friends who died 10 years ago was honored in this way, and Mom really thought it was very nice. So, that's what it will be - and thank you, Mom, for being brave enough to speak up about your final wishes, no matter how soon, or in the future, they may be.

My father recently passed away quite suddenly. Both him and my mom made their arrangements 2-1/2 years ago to be cremated and stated there was to be no visitation or services. My dad also included this in his will. My sister argued with him at the time that what if his kids wanted some type of service or memorial to which he replied "I don't care what our kids want, this is what your mother and I want". He made it verbally clear that he didn't want any kind of gathering, nor did he want to pay for anything. Well, my sister is holding a memorial party to "honor" my dad. My mom, myself and the rest of the immediate family will not not be attending because we know this is being done against my dad's wishes. When one makes it verbally clear as to what their wishes are along with writing it in two different documents, why does someone else feel it is open for a discussion? How do you "honor" someone when you are going against their wishes/requests?

I would listen to the wishes of your mother and the rest of the family. I think it is perfectly okay to not have a funeral. My father did not want a funeral service when he died. I wanted to honor his wishes, but my mother did want one for him. So we had a service. It makes things stickier if all the important family members are not in agreement.

an american city recently recieved a hunk of steel beam from the WTC wreckage. as the beam was trucked in there were soldiers standing at attention saluting the hunk of steel. seriously? id be more impressed if they were saluting the cutting torch that severed the piece of steel. im not into silly ritual. it was a blow coffee out my nose moment for me..
my mother died recently and i miss her fiercly but hymns and prayers wont bring her back. i left that to all the frauds who havent visited her in the last 6 years.

My Mom (95) and I have both purchased cremation services/plans in advance... All we have to do is call the company and they take "it" from there. Mom says she doesn't want any memorial or service at all, but I've told her the service isn't for her, but rather for the people left behind. I believe it should be up to them whether a memorial of some sort would help them with their grieving process. So - I've told Mom I don't know, but I might have some kind of get-together in her memory, even if that means just a Barbeque with friends, a "party" in a bar, or a more traditional memorial type service. I don't think it's fair for the deceased to dictate how those left behind should process their loss, and sometimes gathering with friends and/or relatives to remember the person and share memories is the best catharsis...

I'm coming in late on this one....My dad died about 6 months ago. He didn't want any type of service. He was a private, introverted man. But, he also had lots of people in his life that would have wanted to show their love for him at a service. He didn't want people (his words) "Staring at me in my coffin". We posted an obit in the paper and set up a memorial page on the multiple myeloma website where people could post messages and donate. Our family did a private service at my mom's house..we all wrote something about dad, my brother made a video, we released balloons and then spread his ashes at his favorite place. It was beautiful.

Fortunately, my mom informed me of her desire to be cremated before the Alzheimer's got worse. She will be 93 years old in 3 weeks and her gerontologist says he gives her another 2-4 years to live. At the outside, she'll be 97 when she passes on.
At this moment, she has 4 living brothers and sisters, but they are all near her age. Who knows if they 'll be around when she dies. She wasn't close to any of the nieces/nephews. Any old friends and her previous husbands have all passed away.
I am an only child with one grown son. Since it probably would just be the 2 of us, it doesn't make sense to have a service. My mother was not religious/spiritual, so it seems hypocritical to have anything dealing with a church.

A person doesn't have to have a service or gathering as their "final goodbye". People will remember them, (or not), as they were influenced by the departed. If the family just can't cope with not having a gathering, I'm sure the deceased won't really care, once they're gone.

Wow! What a scathing obituary for Marianne. But, if it was true what they wrote about her, then she deserved it and more. Too bad the kids had to suffer at her hand. Now she might be getting her just "reward".